No clue why I'm posting this as to no one who reads this blog saw this, will know anything about it, or likely care, but that's just how against the grain I am, folks.

Steve and I played a show today. It went very well, and to our surprise it was very well received. I mean really, usually people find as much stuff as they can to dislike about what we play. I have no idea why. But I guess people were just feeling particularly cheery today. Here's our little set list, along with quick descriptions which I'm sure you all will be extremely interested in.

1. Shades of Green. It's a Irish song by Phil Keaggy and it's extremely good. I played drums, Steve played guitar.

2. The Professor. Steve played this by himself on guitar and sang. It's a Damien Rice cover (one of his better songs, easily). I found it quite fun to walk away and eat cake after the first song.

3. Maliguainia. I had to come back though for this one. It's a Spanish song that anyone would know if they heard. Steve and I got our Latino while he was all playing the main bit and I was all screwing around the harmonic minor scale. It was instrumental, we messed up once, and it was just simply the worst on the set.

4. The Folk Jam. Alright, Steve got heavily into folk music last weekend. Heavily. So heavily he went out a bought a mandolin and wrote this bit. So he was on mandolin right and we got Dave Ferraro to do our bass guitar and I was playing a 12-string acoustic while keeping a kick drum/hi-hat beat going on the drums with both my feet. It was very difficult, but people liked it. If I hadn't been so lost in the effort trying to playing the chord to progression and keeping the beat going and doing all the other things I had to do maybe I would have noticed the folks clapping and dancing, as they reportedly were.

5. Bottom of Everything. It's a Bright Eyes song. We didn't really play this, just a couple parts with no vocals. Dave was on bass and Steve and I were doing the guitars.

6. Lull. It's a JMZ song. Since we had Dave on bass and Steve and I doing guitars, this was sort of an acoustic version. Two acoustics with the bass.

7. Tequila Dave. The most fun song ever to play, I'm telling you. The only moderately heavy song we did. Steve was on drums, Dave was on bass, and I did the electric guitar. We also tossed in a really long drum solo and a super cool, over-long Darkness-style ending, making the whole song like 9 minutes long. It was a good closer.

Some of it got videoed so hopefully that'll turn out well.

Jason Williams. One crashed his motorcycle, another shot someone. Either way, they're both Jason Williams.

I've realized that I'm a walking contradiction. I've been told I'm physically intimidating, but that only lasts until you talk to me, then you realize I'm the nicest guy you've ever met. I've been told that I'm mean, but then directly after being told that, I've been called one of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet. I have a relatively quick temper, which rarely manifests itself outwardly, since most of my anger leaves as quickly as it comes. I work a blue collar job, but apparently, I live an exceedingly white collar style of life. In most fight-or-flight situations, my inherent response ninety percent of the time is fight, however, I'm really not a beliver in using violent actions to solve problems. I hate indecisiveness, but I value good judgement.

You see what I mean right? I mean seriously, if you were able to take a portal into my head and hear my thoughts, you'd probably be shocked and appalled, but most importantly, you'd be confused. And to some extent, I'm confused too. I'd like to think that every human has some brand of confusion in their lives, but I realize I'm a special case. A head case? Maybe. Maybe I'm messed up in the head three ways to the weekend, but you know what? I dig that. I actually embrace the fact that I'm a little crazy. Its never really bothered me before, and I don't forsee it bothering me in the future. Do I seem weird at times? Yes, yes, I do, but I get it, the grand it, the joke, the punchline, and I think that everyone should resolve to get it. Not my version of it, of course, but their own joke, punchline, selves. You see once you get it, you're guaranteed to find other people who do too.
I get IT.

Nothing lasts forever, so what makes, what makes, what makes, love the exception/Why oh, why oh, why oh why oh, are we so in denial, when we know we're not happy here.

This weekend promises to be a horrible one. At least that's what I think. I'll be sure to spill every gory detail. Gory. Details. Lunch has never been better!

Every so often, I like to repost old posts, just to you know. . .save myself some writing time. So I went through and found an old post. Interestingly enough, I thought this was hilarious. What makes it "interesting" is that I was the only one. But that's okay. I've learned to accept that and I've moved on with my life. Have you?

Friday, April 16, 2004

So am I the only one who thinks the senseless slaughter and cultural mutilation of bread should end? Chances are you've participated in this mass slaughter and have even come to expect your bread to conform to it. What am I talking about? Sliced bread. That's right SLICED bread. Chances are that doesn't even bother you. Bread is wheat flour, water, leaven and other natural flavorings too. Why do so many people simply accept its being sliced and doled out for our general convenience? When's the last time you saw a loaf of bread that wasn't mutilated? I can still remember seeing the loaves run free in the bakery, content to never be sliced for someone else's consumption and enjoyment, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of the all the bread we've abused. The time is now, the hour is upon us, for us to stop this sad sad violence against the loaves of bread. From the small loaves of rye, to the large loaves of sourdough, who are we to determine that they should be so cruelly sliced and mistreated? Should we play the role of God when it comes to bread? The answer to that should be as simple as embracing a loaf of bread, or holding it by the hand, and saying to it, "Bread, you are as much a free loaf of bread as the first loaf ever produced from the oven. Will you have this meal with me?" I can see all the breads and humans dwelling together in unity. No toast is worth this kind of cultural reformation. None. Just the very thought brings tears to my eyes. Its moved me to compose this song about the subject.

Bread. Its not meant to be sliced.
Would you like it if someone diced,
you into pieces when you were fresh?
When you were at the peak, at your best?
Then why do you assault bread?
It won't bite back, at least until you're dead.
Someday it will rise and not in a good sense.
It will need some kneading, and what then?
How do you tell it that you want to cut?
To mutilate and still keep its trust?
The young loaves so impressionable,
truly believe that its something correctional.
Shame on you all with your toast,
shame on you all with your toast!
SHAME!!
SHAME!!
TOAST IS MURDER!!

After reading this, I can see why it didn't go over so well. Not that it matters. I'm not much of a bread activist anymore anyway.

I'll die a lonely old man, I'm sure of it. No wait. I'll probably die a lonely relatively old man. My life expectancy isn't what it used to be

I've come the realization that I'm not too fond of social situations. It feels to me like I never know what to say. Now if you know me, I'm sure you're saying, "Javann, YOU are unsure of what to say in social situations? But you talk, pretty much constantly." First off, thanks for telling me to shut up, albeit in a nice way. Back at you loving friends!

Maybe a bit too sarcastic for his own good as well.

Secondly, yes, I am a bit unsure of what to say in social situations. Want an example? No? Hmm. . .that kills the rest of what I was going to say. I'll just keep going as if you stopped reading this.

Scenario One:
Javann approaches carrying a box in his hand with an envelope on top. He hands a clipboard to the first person he sees and asks to him to sign the appropiate line. The man sees the quantity column and says, "Just that one?" Javann then says, "No, its two, see?" and shifts the envelope to reveal that it is separate from the box. Awkward laugh. Awkward silence. Javann leaves.

See? See that was awkward. I wanted to say something right there. But I couldn't even think of a good joke about that. And you know what really bothers me? I still can't! I'm usually sharper than this. What is wrong in my head that I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say here? There's not even over par stuff in my head, I mean its empty. But lets continue.

Scenario Two:
Javann delivers several envelopes to a law office. The two secretaries who work there constantly complain, albeit jokingly, about him bringing them more work. On one occasion, Javann walks in and hands them an envelope and the clipboard to sign for said envelope. Secretary looks at the address on the envelope and sighs, saying, "Oh, boy, more work. Thanks." Javann smiles and says, "Sorry I keep all the fun for myself. I only deliver work." Javann leaves.

Seriously, what did I even mean with that one? "I keep all the fun for myself?" What kind of pathetic quip is that? I'll tell you what kind, pathetically pathetic is what it is. And its slipping over into his writing too

What's wrong with me? I remember a time when I was pretty funny. Now I'm just a husk of the man that I once was. I was comic gold mine at one point, and now I think I've actually tapped out on witty comebacks and one liners. I think it has to do with each encounter being worse than the one before. I'm losing my confidence in being funny. . .

But that's neither here nor there. I'll now stop boring you with my incessant whining.

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello? Is anyone out there?

Sometimes while I'm riding around in my delivery truck, I sit around and I wonder if this is what I'll be doing a few years from now. You know, delivering packages, then going home to type some thought I had that day into my blog, and maybe listening to music. Will I know how to play the guitar in five years? (Jon, I don't want to hear your constant harping on my lack of dedication to practice) Yes, you constantly harp about that. The only sure thing is that I'll be 29 in five years, and even that's not a sure thing, because I could be dead in five years.

So what? Obviously these thoughts stick with me, since my entire life is so embedded in uncertainty that it actually bothers me to have even one aspect like this shrouded in mystery. Truthe be told, I'd be the first to tell you I kind of like not knowing what's going to happen every day, as if living life were some sort of adventure where everything was new and exciting. In truth, my life is actually pretty boring. I get up, I work, I come back, I sometimes type stuff on the computer, and sometimes I sleep for long periods of time. Then I get up and I do it over again. Whatever happened to exploring, adventure, and wonder? I miss those things about being a kid. When I was a kid it seemed like my entire backyard was huge and no matter how much time I spend out there, it was always new to me. Where do I go now for that type of feeling? Hiking? I spend more time wondering when it'll be over whenever I go. The ocean? I can't swim. Artic exploring? Dangerous motorsports? I just wanted to throw that out there.

And what's up with this italicized voice all through my posts?

How do you spend your time? I spend mine every day trying to remember what I cam into this room for. How else would I spend my time?

Wikipedia is without a doubt one of the most addictive websites I've been too. What is wikipedia you say? Its an online conglomeration of articles about everything you'd ever want to know. You know the saying, the world is full of books? Yeah, wikipedia completely proves that.

"But why did he say its addictive," you're saying out loud right now. No? Can you say it out loud right now to make that last quote right? Right.

So here's the long and short of it. I like reading. Unlike most people I enjoy it. I'll read before I watch TV. That's right, I said it. So having a sight that answers a good deal of my scientific (and sometimes stupid) questions is great. Couple that with my increasingly short memory, and I can literally read the same stuff over and over again and enjoy hour after hour, day after day. Ignorance really is bliss

I also enjoy Wikipedia's random article link. For instance, Asdhoo is one of the uninhabited islands of Kaafu Atoll. And ponton is the German word for pontoon. Chandra West? She's just one of few Canadian females to have made the successful screen transition from television to film. You get my drift, I guess. The best part are the links within the article which take you to yet other articles which have links in them which. . .yeah. So you can waste a lot of time (waist a lot of thyme) on Wikipedia. So there's the link up there. Get to it.

I don't know if I could be trapped in a world where everything I did was erased at the end of the day, only with me having to start over and do the same thing again. I'd go crazy Oh wait, I just described getting up and going to work everyday. That explains a lot.