I've gotta secret.

Bright idea: Make seven individual CDs one for each day of the week. At least it seemed bright. It was idiocy in disguise. Because, well, frankly, I don't have the ability to follow through. Well, I have the ability, I don't have. . .the drive. Yeah, that's it. Five topping pizza, by the way, is a party. Prince said so. Its like when you read someone else's blog, and realize that your blog is really really boring. And that you live a boring life. That's what its like.

Man, I'm sore. I mean I really hurt. We played some football this weekend, and I "inducted" Jamaican into the society of American's who enjoy Monday morning quarterbacking, fantasy football, and large styrofoam index fingers. Sorry, ladies, now whenever Sunday rolls around, another man will be watching. I hold my stomach in laughter at your futile attempts to manipulate the men in your life into sensitivity and conversation. Sometimes, people say they have random thoughts. And then I reply, "I never get those. I pretty much mean to think." Nuances, its the little things that make life. If you know the nuances, you're in. You own everything necessary. All you need to know are the little things. The big things are pretty self explanatory, inertia, gravity, murder, blah blah blah, easy. The problem is the little things. The proverbial shades of grey (or if you prefer, gray). These are the problems in life. Sure gravity can kill you if you jump off a building. But gravity is why it rains. See, little things. The key to making sense is sometimes to make no sense at all. That doesn't make sense. I know.

Also, I've decided to buy a crossfader and two turntables. That's right, I know its totally cliche, but I'm not in the process of searching for the "wheels of steel." I'll be sure to update everyone on how that goes. Since I don't want to drop a lot of money for the stuff. That's the real problem. The money it costs for not one turntable, but two(!) and a crossfader. But at least I didn't say I was buying a television. What are you doing? Fighting the greatest evil there is son. But all you did was turn the television off. Exactly.

I am dragging. I've done nothing cool. I've got nothing witty to say. And I'm dead tired. This is not a cool time to be my friend, I'll say that much. Or to want to be entertained by me. Catch up with me in say. . .three days. I'll have plenty of entertaining things to say and will have done many things. Indeed.

In an ever growing effort to "find myself" I've made it a habit to take a personality test every so often to determine if I am indeed becoming a better person. One that I like in particular is the Personality Disorder test from similarminds.com. It helps you determine if you have any. . .tendencies towards mental instability. I've always maintained that yes, I have some mental instabilities, I think as humans, we all have our problems. Its admitting that we have a problem and accepting it has being the "rust" in our armor, or as some like to say, the spice in our life that most people seem to not get. At any rate, here's how I did.

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||| 58% Schizoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Antisocial |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Borderline |||||||||||||||| 70% Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62% Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 78% Dependent |||||||||||| 46% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 30%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Feel free to take it yourself and tell me what's wrong with you.

I don't get good at this game until I've had a few drinks. Better get your wins in while I'm still sober.

Like all things, this weekend came to an end. Unlike those other things with ends, it was way too quick. I crashed, as usual, but not at the end of the weekend, say, Sunday night. Oh no, I crashed Friday, and I skidded forward until Sunday night. I finally was able to pull myself out of bed and headed on down to the Jazz Factory, where I took out my frustration with my innately imperfect limitations on poor Jughead. No, I didn't beat him to a pulp with a cue stick, but I did savagely beat him at pool. After a few games, I then went to Sonic's listened to music, and wondered what happened to my weekend. I was supposed to go see Serenity. I didn't go see it. That's right, I didn't. And now, according to Tremaine, I missed the greatest scifi movie to grace the screen in some years. There was a time when I was easily able to stay awake all weekend with no problems. That time has come and past, and the partying can never last. Wake me up, when this whole thing ends.

To my credit, I'm a much better singer than songwriter. Not to my credit, I'm a horrible songwriter. And not much better at singing.

Last night, a friend (who'll I'll call Jamaica for anonymity purposes) and I had an argument. After watching House of Flying Daggers, he felt that one of the characters was motivated by logic in his actions. Of course, I think that he was motivated by emotion. Come on. Emotions are some of the most powerful things that any human being can experience. I just don't understand how someone can be motivated by solely by logic. As anyone who's ever read my Keirsey results will tell you, I am ENFP, with a really strong feeling (or emotional) side. 88% feeling to be precise. What does that mean? My main motivation in life is feeling. If something doesn't make me feel right, I don't do it. Case in point. I'm at Walmart with Jamaica, looking for a cashier to ring up and get out. There's a line where I will literally be next. There's a buggy in the way. No one's attending it. So I step in front of it, put my beer down (that's right my rich delicious Yueng Ling lager) and wait. The person who's using the buggy comes back. Now, don't get me wrong. I am a man of decisive action, and I'm also strongly into the deal agenda. I do something that makes you upset, yeah, well deal. You don't like me? Yeah, well deal. Oh, you want to start something because I parked my truck in front of you? Yeah well, deal. You see what I mean. The only time that even comes out of me though is when anger or aggression is expressed towards me. I'm not like that, say at a funeral. I don't think that I should be mean to people who feel sad.

Which brings me to the point of what happened. The lady who came back to her cart didn't look angry, or furious, or even nonchalant. She looked genuinely disappointed. I mean full-fledged disappointment. I'm talking looking into her eyes and feel her pain disappointment. Which is why I couldn't stay in line. So I grabbed my beer (that's right my rich delicious Yueng Ling lager) and told her sorry. But here's where Jamaica and I differed. Jamaica felt no remorse, and even said as much. Now, the lady let me stay, even though I had pretty much left for another line, but that's neither here nor there. I was prepared to leave, while Jamaica was going to stay, regardless of how bad it made someone else feel. And there's where I draw the line. I have no problem with angering someone. That's your problem, and honestly, I'm going to anger people everywhere I go. So what, deal. But disappointing people? I can't bear to do that. Not to mention I can avoid disappointing people.

Didn't like this post? Too bad. Deal. Unless you're disappointed. In which case, I'll do better next time then.