Thursday, January 29, 2004

Bias. Its really only about four letters, but it permeates everything we hear, a good deal of what we see and the majority of what we think. Unfortunately, there's no real way to escape from bias. Whenever we speak to a friend about any factual matter, we are suceptible to the bias that comes with the "eye witness account." No matter how good a person anyone may be, they will add their own slant to any account they see. My theory is because none of us sees the same thing. For instance, if three men looked at one car, one may say, "Look that's a sports car. I bet the driver of that car is a fast driver." The next person may look and say to himself, "That car is a nice shade of red. I wonder why that person picked that particular color." The third person may look at the car and notice that the keys are in the ignition and drive off with a brand new red sports car. My point is, that each person may see the same thing, but what one mind perceives is distinctly different from what another individual mind would perceive entirely. The reason for that is because we don't see things, or hear things without trying to interpret and unpack them. Our methods for interpreting and unpacking things are defined by our experiences and social values taught to us at a young age. This means that no two people interpret situations and ideas the same. And in relaying this information to someone else, they also pass on their own interpretations of what happened. So really there is no way for us to avoid bias. Its a horrible thing to have to realize, at least for me is was, but the truth of the matter is, such is the way of life I suppose. What can anyone do about bias? We can't escape it. I suppose the logical thing to do would be to garner more than one eyewitness account, or source of information, making sure to get all the facts and not just one person's account. What do you think?

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

As we enter today's episode, we find our hero tragically lost in deep thought. In my Race, Gender, Class and The Media um. . .class today (CM 340 t), we viewed a video which candidly discussed the images of the racial minorities in the media. Of course, this focused greatly on black (or African) Americans, since they seem to be the case study for all minority media images and relations. As they analyzed the depictions of black people over the time during slavery, post Civil War (and emancipation) and on into the Civil Rights Act, they showed that stereotypes were enforced and reconstructed to justify the norm. When slavery was still a legal practice, the slaves were shown as happy to be slaves, and as being proud of their position of service to their masters. The demeanor of the men were often childlike in their value of music and dance, over hard work and life, and the women were depicted as being the spine of the race, as being strong, overly plump leaders who disciplined all of their "kind". This gave the depiction of the entire race as being deserving of slavery, as if slavery were the only way they would survive. Those who were free were often depicted in minstrel shows as being bumbling, pretentious idiots, and were shown as being lost and alone without their masters to provide and care for them. In short, the entire race was depicted as if slavery were the only way they could survive in the newly formed United States. After emancipation, however, the slaves were depicted as brutal, savage, and lustful. The men were seen as a threat to the ideal beauty (the white female) since their own woment were so masculine in quality. This imagery, according to the film, is still seen today. Which brings me to my point. One of the things this film showed was Shaft, and other noticeable characters of the blaxploitation era, like Foxy Brown, and Coffee um. . . Brown. Now, I'm not saying Shaft was the greatest movie, or that the blaxploitation movies were the best written, best directed, or anything of that nature. Lets not kid ourselves, these films were an exercise in exaggeration. We all know that Shaft was a fictional character, and truly didn't exist. My argument though, is that the blaxploitation films showed a strong-willed, intelligent black man or woman, who took the prejudice that they were shown in stride to their successes. There was never a time when Shaft didn't show the same dislike and prejudices that he was confronted with (" 'You're not so black' 'Yeah, you're not so white' ") but he never retaliated to a revengeful or savage violence. His revenge was to do his job his way, and to such a degree, that no man could deny the talent and skill he possessed. As Isaac Hayes pointed out, he was truly a bad shut yo mouth. I'm only talking about Shaft, but if you can dig it, the somewhat exaggerated image of strong black male was positive in shaping and influencing others of that same race in a time of reformation and change. The civil rights movement was quickly becoming a memory in the seventies, and the hatred and prejudice was becoming less and less overt, to the point where protesting, sit ins, and legislature wasn't the answer. As shown by Shaft, Coffe Brown, Superfly and the like, the answer is being yourself, and using your given talents to succeed despite the repeated efforts to cause failure for you. That's why I think Shaft, or Good Times, or The Jefferson's, or even What's Happening Now weren't negative images. An exaggerated image isn't automatically negative, nor is it always a horrible thing to depict. It can often be a strong image, exaggerated with the purpose of pointing someone in the right direction. Right on, Shaft, right on. Solid. Least that's what I think.

Monday, January 26, 2004

Man, that Javann is so hot right now. What it is, kumquats? How's everybody doing this lovely. . .what day is it? Monday evening. Unless its not Monday evening for you, then its neither lovely, or Monday, and may very well not be evening. So that's not applicable to everyone. So today I had millions of interconnected deep thoughts. It truly was a beautiful thing. There I was sitting in class and suddenly all of the thoughts that seemed to be missing came pouring into my head. I've yet to experience anything better than that moment. So what were some of the thoughts that came in? Well, in class we talked about the negroization of races and nations by the dominant majority. After some thought, I've come to the conclusion that there is also a dominant minority. The dominant minority is the accepted minority, though it may not really be mainstream, it has imposed its will on the majority through sheer ethical arguments, or through what I'd like to call the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Unfortunately, the grease isn't getting spread around to the other minorities. This case is generalized of course, and I'd love to give examples but this interconnected to another thought that passed and I begin to wonder how it was possible for minorities to forget other minorities in their supposed quest for equality. When it really hit me, the equality that was so sought after in all of the various civil rights movements through the ages in different countries, wasn't the equality of the moral kind. It wasn't asking for the end of prejudice, it was demanding that the discriminated be able to do as well economically as those who discriminated against them. Who cares how anyone views them, or that there are decades of prejudice to be torn down, all that was wanted was the right to essentially make money. Then this thought crossed my mind, why did so many people look down on stereotypes then? Some of it seems to be those who truly are looking for socio-economic second and moral and ethical equality first. And then there's those that only want the economic success, to live the dream if you will. These see stereotypes as an afront to their accomplishments and success, even as being a detractor from their social stance in a society and culture that is obviously geared towards emphasizing the importance of status and power. So they feel that these detractors must be removed, BUT the dominant minority only has those that are applicable to them removed, since for the most part they only want socio-economic success or equality, and not true moral-ethical equality. To keep other minorities bridled by stereotypes and prejudices simply serves as a economic boon for their every growing status, which was hard won, of course, but still not completely moral or ethical. An example used in an article in my textbook was the sports teams named after what may seem to some people to racial slurs, but its accepted because the minority it slurs isn't the dominant minority. (i.e. the Washington Redskins, the Atlanta Braves, the Canadian Canucks, etc.) Does the entire minority realize that in its struggle its burying those who seek what they do? Probably not. If shown the truth would they change from their paths. . .who's to say? What does any of this prove? Man will continue to dominate man to his injury. Apparently this conclusion is somewhat inescapable since when I brought this up in class, all of the students in the classroom saw no other alternative, at least not in the forseeable future. Ah well, enough of my endless thoughts, feel free to spit your own intelligence.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Apparently this is a day of complete and total Javannism. So here's my enneagram tests, if you have the desire to understand me.
Conscious self
Overall self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

And here's more about me:
Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||| 22%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||| 53%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||| 69%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 35%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 75%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 52%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 65%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Your Conscious-Surface type is 6w7
Your Unconscious-Overall type is Omni
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Feel free to take this test and tell me if you think its accurate.
Oh yeah, I just stole this from Bev's site. :D Thanks once again Bev for making this possible, don't worry, I've already turned myself in to the proper authorities.

3 things you are: joyful, extroverted, outspoken
3 things you are not: introverted, quiet, short
3 things you enjoy: writing, making music, thinking
3 things you dislike: false pretenses, mass amounts of people, and squash
3 things you want: peace, happiness, more time to think
3 things you need: food, clothing, shelter
3 qualities you like in a guy/girl: spirituality, outspokenness, intelligence
3 qualities you dislike: unidentifiable rage, hypocrisy, feigned interests
3 qualities that make your ideal relationship: communication, love, communication
3 qualities you like in a friend: tolerant, fun, loyal
3 words that describe/remind you of love: idealism, communication, loyalty
3 words that describe/remind you of hate: pretense, rage, anger
3 songs that make you want to dance: "Where's Your Head At?!?" Bassment Jaxx, "Give Up The Funk" - The Funkadelics, "Breathe" - Prodigy
3 best leisure books you've ever read: "For Whom The Bell Tolls" - Hemmingway, "Andromeda Strain" - Michael Crichton, "Candide" - Voltaire
3 best albums you've ever heard: "OK Computer" - Radiohead, "Origin of Symmetry" - Muse "A Rush of Blood To The Head" - Coldplay
3 best stores to shop at: Software, Etc.,, Dillards. (Only stores I actually shop at, well other than Walmart)
I have an excellent book whose wit and satire I must recommend to everyone who visits my site. The books name is Candide, by Voltaire. Its intriguing satire that I laughed at quite a bit, and its so biting and to the point that I think anyone who reads it would enjoy it. I especially hope that Jon gets to read it. I know how much he enjoys good literature, speaking of which, if you want to borrow it from me, let me know I'll see what I can do about sending it to via the Postal Service. Not the band, the actual postal service. Anyway, that's really all I have to talk about, thanks for stopping by.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

So am I preferred customer yet? Probably not. Either way it goes, I think I should spend more time thinking about something other than how I feel. As I just found out yesterday from Jeremy's site, I'm 82% emotionally driven. 82%. . .that's well over half, that's a B in the world of testing, and therefore, that means I act upon my thoughts much less than 18% of the time. Wow. I'm doomed to die a horrible death. Actually I think this means that I just need to learn to think more, emote less, and generally accomplish what i've been unable to do all my life. Oh well, I guess being emotional isn't that terrible of a thing, I'm pretty sure that somewhere down the line, I'll have to give my life for someone and i won't hesitate as I jump in front of the bullet/monster/bomb/etc. because I'm just that feeling. That's the best part of being emotional, unconditional sacrifice. Alright. . .no no, its not alright! Anyway, I'm going to call it day here, with one warning to someone pretending to be me. . .that's the warning. I have officially warned you. . .be warned!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

I guess I'm just the bomb diggity om. Yep, that would be the best description of me. So here's a slight update on all that hoorah about personality types. In a desperate attempt to understand me, Jerm broke out his personality type book, Please Understand Me II and low and behold, it was discovered that I'm not a Healer. I'd be a healer if I kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately those who know me know that's not a possibility so its been discovered that I'm a Champion. What is a champion? Well its an extroverted Healer apparently. Feel free to click the link if you want to know more, because I'm seriously not the one to tell you the specifics. Though I have to admit, the healer did strike me as being dead on. Either way, we learned that Jerm is a Provider, which me and ReG both agreed was very much him. As I've pointed out, in the past two years, Jeremy's fed me more than my parents have. That explains my desire to eat his food, since he is a provider, I feel the need to be provided for. . .right. And what about ReG? What did he turn out to be? Well, ReG is a Composer and after reading the description of composer, me and Jerm thought that fit him pretty well. So what really was accomplished here? Well, we all learned a valuable lesson. I learned that I can drive and take a personality test at the same time without killing anyone. I also learned that Jeremy doesn't understand me at all. But ReG did. And my friends have described me as the nicest mean person they know. AH well, such is personality. But wait, I promised pictures didn't I? Well too bad there are no picture to be had.

Friday, January 16, 2004

You know, sunlight has been scientifically proven to awaken the body's senses biologically. So does hot water. There's nothing better than hot water, preferably soapy hot water, to make a person wake up. What does this have to do with anything? Really nothing, but well, that's what I'm thinking about right now. The sun is shining, the birds aren't singing, but my deficient hearing is causing me to hear ringing in my ears, and somewhere, the thoughts of spring are entering my mind. Today was an interesting day, I had the cheapest breakfast I could afford, and I ran into both of my bosses today, wondering the halls of the university center. One of them was doing what he does, which was checking on the condition of the cafeteria, and the other was, well she was just walking back to work from lunch or breakfast I guess. Truth of the matter is, it was nine in the morning and I didn't have the presence of mind to speculate as to what she was doing. I don't think I'm comfortable with my job and my academics being so closely related. I'd prefer to keep all aspects of my life completely separate, like food on a plate. I don't like mixing my peas with my potatoes, or stirring my greens in with my fried chicken. I used to despise having my fried chicken soggy from the juice of my turnip greens, and in many cases, I'd like my work and my academics to remain just as separate. I don't know why I would rather have my life so perforated but that seems to be what I prefer. Speaking of work, I really should take a nap since I have to be at work in an hour or so. I'll leave this here. Coincidentally its Jon Friday on Jerm's site, feel free to click both of those words since they are separate links. Did anyone read Oroonoko? If not don't worry, there'll not be a quiz, just wondering what everyone's thoughts were. Feel free to expel saliva wisely at me..

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Growing up in Spanish Harlem, with guitar played by Carlos Santana. . .that's what's going through my head right now. Maria. Anyway, its Thursday, and school is officially underway I suppose. My mind's not completely addled yet, but not to worry, I'll be fried before you can truly realize it. I should hip you cats to some fresh happenings, the comments are up and running now and the site is officially under construction. Things will change, especially this nice 70's split pea green design, (feels like there should be some shag carpeting, oh wait, ick) though truth be told I'm really rather fond of the odd coloring of this blog. I might just make this the official colors. Honestly, I'm not sure what I'll do with this ol blog, except for perhaps ramble incessantly about it, filling up much needed space and keeping myself from having to do any real deep meditative thought sharing. So I'm sure you want to know how my classes are going, well at the moment they are fun exciting and I'm learning tons of new stuff. On the downside, well at the moment there isn't too much of a downside, I'm developing a serious abhorrence for work, and I do mean a serious abhorrence. Nothing will pleasure me more than telling my boss I quit, so now I'm in the process of looking for another job so that I can experience that greatness. Of course, as we are all aware, jobs are scarcer than good compliments, so I might as well just stick with it and work. Nothing wrong with hard work, good physical labor never hurt anyone, and if you work hard in life, you will eventually be rewarded. At least that's what everyone is wont to tell me, myself, I don't prescribe to any such rubbish, I know the rewards of my hard labor will be a bad back, arthritic knees, and lousy paycheck. Knowing such, I strive to relieve myself of such burdens before they become so. Also I've been reading a lot of Oroonoko, an intriguing novella by Behn, (I can't remember her first name) which details the life of a noble slave, who falls upon tragedy after tragedy. Its rather wordy to tell the truth, and it also contains the prejudice one would expect from a 19th century work (or was it 18th century? I'd better learn that before a test) but it really is a superb example of social climate at the time of her writing, and she even ventures so far as to criticize slavery in a covert method. If you have the time or the desire, I suggest you look it up on the web, even better let me find it for you. Here's a good copy with no additional information here, and here's an intriguingly written essay on how the covert meanings that I just mentioned. Now that I've left you with something to preoccupy your free time, feel free to spit some intelligence about it. Later!

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Well, its Tuesday. The day of um, tues. Yes. That is what today is the day of. Actually today was the day of sleep study and relaxation. That's right. Sleep study and relaxation. So my sister got married. Quite interesting, since she and my brother-in-law came by the house today. They seemed happy enough, I suppose. Well, I guess that's the way that things go. I'm not exactly happy that my sister is gone, but there's nothing wrong with her getting married I guess. Well, as you may have noticed this blog entry is going to be quite short, I've not got a lot to write about but I'm sure I will have something to write about soon enough. On the plus side, I've been so busy with school that I've not had time to do much thinking. Anyway, I've got quite a bit of sleep to catch up on and I gotta holla at a fresh desk at eight in the morning so I guess I better mosey on out. Later ladies and gents. Oh yeah, notice that the days of spitting intelligence are gone. I switched over to haloscan for comments because blogscan sucked. That's right, I said it, it sucked. Unfortunately, I can't make it say spit your own intelligence anymore, yeah I know all of you will miss that with a real vengeance, but not to worry, I've not lost my witty repertoire at all. Either way, I gotta go now so feel free to comment. Eechh. . .leaves a bad taste in the mouth, a very bad taste. Makes me want to spit? You too? Then spit some intelligence.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Okay gotta make this short, there is a ton of mothers and fathers in this house this morning. :D Anyway, my relatives are down, headed back today, and my sisters is married. I've got a brother in law and 12 hours of college goodness awaiting me today. All of my classes are MWF, so you can look forward to me blogging my mind out on Tuesday's and Thursday's at least, I hope you can, but either way, I've got to be going. More reflective thoughts on marriage, and why it works or doesn't work later on today. I need to take a shower and some Day Quil. Also more on that later as well. I'm gone!

Friday, January 09, 2004

Oh yeah, here's something interesting to do. I gotta compete with Jerm's site. :D Just kidding, but here's a test that I got from Bev. It helps you find your personality type, and should be entertaining, if not enlightening, for everyone involved.
And also, I'm a iNFp, which is an idealist healer, you can read more about that by clicking it. And the test is here. That should give you something fun to do. Feel free to share. Meanwhile back at the ranch house. . .
Like sands through the hourglass, so go. . .wait, that's from a soap opera isn't it? I'll stop quoting it now, there'll be no intrigue or immorality on this site. Well maybe some intrigue, and definitely some plot twists, but no immorality. Man, the week flew by, its like Wednesday and Thursday didn't happen. Lets pretend it didn't and stay in the present. I've decided the past is nothing but a bad idea for everyone involved. The past is nothing but a bad idea for everyone involved. See, me repeating the past resulted in stupidity. That alone proves my point. Actually I've not given this enough thought, but in reality the past is nothing but the present gone by. Have you noticed that all I'm doing is stating facts and making it seem that it proves my point? The reason for this sparse exercise in reason is because I'm tired. Very. I'm trying to get in "sync" for school, since I have eight o'clock classes, but truthfully, I'm failing miserably at it. Getting up at eight is too much for me, but that's what I get for registering late. I suppose I should learn a lesson from this, but well, lessons are a lot like fried chicken. Everyone wants it, but no one wants to pay for it. See what I mean about that tired thing? I'm definitely losing my mind, or perhaps I lost it some time ago and this is just the residual side effects. Yeah, that's what's going on. At any rate, perhaps I'll come back when I'm a little more coherent.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Tuesday, the day of um, tues! Yes, wonderful tues. Now I want to look up what Tuesday was all about, and who it was dedicated to. Anyway, just got off work, after a long, and I do mean long, absence, everything felt heavy and disorganized, but I was able to do away with the disorganized part pretty quickly. The heavy part will go away as I work more. But man, the place was a mess when I got there, all of the storage rooms had chairs and tables and other such items crammed in with no order or reason to them. I've never felt more like a parent as I pulled all of the mess out and then reorganized it. My back's all tight from that now. I don't understand how one grown man can make such a mess of things. Doesn't he realize that keeping things orderly makes our respective jobs easier? Does he miss seeing that I reorganize the entire thing when I work? Why doesn't he follow my relatively good example? Not to mention, he's raised three kids, how the heck did he manage that with such poor organizational skills. Its a wonder he didn't lose one of those kids in his house because of all the mess. I'd say something to him, but that'd be very disrespectful since he is twice my age, or maybe even three times my age, and I can't very well tell him that he's a complete slob, and if he doesn't get his act together, I'll. . .do nothing because I can't do anything to him. I couldn't threaten him with physical harm, but I'd prefer to do that when I have another job lined up. Just kidding, but you see my point. There's nothing I can do but vent on my blog, and wish that someday he'd stumble upon it and realize I'm talking about him. No chance of that right? Right. Anyway, as my father just told me, I should take this time to study, so let me go study something. . .as if school has started. Next Monday begins the same old grind, except there'll be no weekend for me. Figures. Oh well, I guess its not like its not expected. I'm going to gain some much needed sleep. Feel free to let me know you're reading this. Just to make me feel better about myself.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Hey hey its Sunday. . .well well its sunday. Yep, its sunday and the weekend is drawing to its end as the week approaches. I guess its time to start that same old grind again. Yep yep. So what's the haps? Saturday was fun, went to play football and then bowling, with some sleeping and showering mixed in. And a funky good time was had by all. As far as thoughts go, well, my only thoughts are that my friends are getting older. How do I know this? The majority of them are getting married, or dating, and well, then there's me. There's nothing in the works for me, because I'm just that cool. Or I'm a loser. Either one. But not to worry, its actually kinda fun to see who's next. If I were a gambling man, and i'm not, I'd be passing out odds on each person, there'd be a ton of money to be made. I kid I kid. Anyway, I gotta go get ready for the meeting at some point today, so I'll make it this point. Don't worry I'll be back with a more. . .cohesive thought soon enough.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Somebody else did it, so will I. This is my yearly recap, thanks Bev for uh, ahem lending this form to me. I'll return it slightly used next year. . .or as soon as possible. :D Anyway, without further ado I present to you:

Javann's Year of Immense Proportion!!
(Slightly overrated)
(Makes you not want to read this doesn't it?)

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
I got a job. It was great fun. Really. Okay it sucked.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Sorry, I don't resolve anything much less during new years.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Two sisters in our cong had children during the 2003 year

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Fortunately no, I'd say no one I could remember, but I can't remember them dying, I couldn't have been that close to them.

5. What countries did you visit?
I visited none. (Sigh)

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
More time. Conversely more wisdom to use the time I did have more efficiently.

7. What date(s) from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 7th - Turned 21!
July 10th (or so) - Aaron came to visit
July or August something- Went to Tennessee capped off the best summer of my life, blah blah blah
December 31 - Realized that the year over, wondered where it went

8. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
Changing my major

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not accepting the the reality of life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Whiplash from football, other than that, just my normal cuts scars and allergies

11. What were the best things you bought?
Car repair items, and my favorite brush

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Any friends that I still have that put up with me and all that entailed with that.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Everyone apalled me at times, myself included. Depressed me? My own behavior mostly.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, gas, cell phone bill, car repairs, and oh yeah, food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Trip to Tennessee (was that this year?)
Aaron's visit
District Convention (seems so long ago)

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
Its Come To This - Fuel

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) happier or sadder? Happier actually, last year this time sucked.
(b) thinner or fatter? Ah, prosperity. On the plus side I'm evening out, but my job is so physical I can't help but gain weight.
(c) richer or poorer? Still broke.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling, and wish I'd done more thinking period

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Working, acting without rational thought

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Somewhere dark quiet, and thankfully non-festive

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Nopers. No love to report. Sorry. Don't hold your breath for next year, I'm pretty sure this won't change.

23. How many one-night stands?
I've got this nice plastic rubber maid storage drawer set that I keep next to my bed, had a five inch television on it, so I guess you can call it a night stand. And it is a singular.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Started watching 10 - 8, just seemed like a cool show to watch, seeing how everything on TV is crap.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
My list of abhorrance is only comparable to my list of mistakes.

26. What was the best book you read?
A Brief Illustrated History of Time - Stephen Hawkings. I finally finished that book. That thing gave me headache and a years worth of thoughts. Excellent book for those who have the nerve to finish it.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
James Brown, Etta James, Juice Mouse Zero, myself (how conceited), A Tribe Called Quest, (I knew they were talented, but not how much) Ronnie Size, Rahzel, Postal Service (I think that was this year) Joy Electric (yeah that was this year) Sunny Day Real Estate, the Flaming Lips, the Eels, (how did I sleep on these bands?) Guru, John Coltrane (jazz is how i feel), the Stone Roses, (I gotta find more by them) Muse, COLDPLAY (too bad Martin's gone and diluted their music in the name of love, BAH!!), Portishead (I just actually listened to them back in January, blind or def, you decide) and so much more that I really don't have time to keep going, but let me not forget Roy Ayers, Con Funk Shun, The Funkadelics, Liam Lynch, Fine China, AND!! Scripted Failures. Rock.
28. What did you want and get?
Fixed car, oxygen, and more friends

29. What did you want and not get?

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I just saw Undercover Brother (not sure if that was this year or not, but I just saw it this year!) and man that's funny. That'll be my favorite that I saw.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 on July 7th, I basically did what I did on every other day of my life. Sorry no drunken binges or such. That came weeks later. . . I mean, er um, next question!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Learning more. About anything.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Less trashy than before, but still neatly unkempt in a baggy hip-hop kind of way. This year so the inclusion of cologne on more than just special occasions.

34. What kept you sane?
Who said I was sane?

35. Which celebrity figure did you fancy the most?
Uh, honestly, none of them. I'm not a huge fancier of celebrity figures, I'm more enraptured by a personality than I am the expensive good looks.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The incredibly infallibleness of world issues to conform to Bible prophecy.

37. Who did you miss?
Uh. . .um. . .I don't think I missed anyone.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Several new people I met were cool, the Schedel's from Canada, they were rock, I kinda got to know Matthew, he's definitely rock, Amber and Kate(cher) from Haleyville, sorry my meeting you had to be on the terms of exacting revenge for something you didn't do to me, but hey! Um. . .yes, hey. And met E-Dub again for the first time.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003?
Being alone doesn't make you lonely.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Halcyon Days - The Tea Party. Sums up a year quite well if you ask me.

alone, left here in dust
amidst my fears and doubts
life's shattered dreams I could have
gone without
now chthonic life has set its sights on
making me a slave to its ways
i wait for return
until then my soul it burns
and it burns only for you...

i'll be with you soon...

night it falls on me endlessly
and i search for you in this blindness
i'm a prodigy of lust and loss
'till sleep comes down

i can't explain, this disdain remains
this treason i can't reason
they left me here for dread my dear
barely breathiung, but i'm still breathing

now i see a light
it's shining from above
i think they've finally come
the halcyon days

I'm crawling now up
towards the sound
vengeance moves so swiftly
i've conquered fear
i've shed my tears
now i'm seething, barely breathing

now i see a light
shining from above
i think they'vbe finally come
the halcyon days

Don't ask for explanation. Well you can ask, I won't guarantee the answers. Anyway, thanks for the time, and spit the intelligence at me.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Well, once again time is of the essence so I will make this as condensed and yet entertaining as I possibly can. Yesterday, or I should say last night, was one of interestingly unepic proportions, I went to see Paycheck, an interesting movie to say the least which brings up the age old time argument that if you can see the future, and then react to said future, then you alter the future, meaning you never saw the future that caused you to alter it, which means you never would have altered the future, which means whatever you sought to change, didn't. Okay, that haven't been done, I also spend the better half of last night in a fast food restaurant, hoping to get my hands on those tasty Krystal's (and they are tasty) and quelch my ever grumbling stomach. So I went inside, since the drive through line was several cars long, and since I don't mind using my legs, considering I'm getting ready to eat enough glycogen(not sure what glycogen is) to drop a third world country. That made no sense, but in the long run, I went inside at about 1:01. As I waited I begin to realize a horrible truth. The line for food was longer inside than outside. My ticket was number 133. The ticket I heard called next was 125. And they were moving em out at least a ticket every ten minutes. I also noticed there were a lot of people complaining about the wait. Maybe its just me, but my patience isn't renowned throughout the land. But the funny thing is, I can wait for long periods of time for food, or something I want, when my patience with the people in the store quickly ran thin. I spent the better part of the night, wanting to tell the loudmouthed little girl with too much liquor in her system to shut up, as well as remind her that waiting 20 minutes for food isn't going to kill her. It was one of those loud people that feel the need to utter loud expletives and then when offered to have her receipt exchanged for her money back, she declined it, because she "likes the food too much". I could go on for days, but as mentioned at the outset, my time is limited, suffice it to say, I learned a lot about people in that twenty minutes, one thing being that the majority of people are intolerably impatient. Of course, there's nothing I can do about it. Enjoy your year.