Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Well, its the end of the year. This has been a year filled with good and bad, much like every other year. Its times like this when I sit back and I think to myself, "Self, what has this year really brung?" This was the year that saw one of the greatest summers ever, and yet, it also brought one of the worse winters. I've definitely had a year full of memories and thoughts, and as I reflect back over this year, I wonder if I'd do everything the same way. I've done so much I wish I could take back and start afresh, and yet when I get the chance it seems I fall short of the goal over and over again. Maybe this is just a human imperfection, or maybe its just a lack of mental stability and will power on my part. As much as I'd like to blame all of these outside factors, I know somewhere deep in my heart, that this is the result of me. Every mistake, everytime I stumble, I can't blame it on anyone else but me. This past year brings to mind thousands of what ifs, just like all the other years past. But what we would all do well to remember is what if doesn't exist. We have to accept what we've done wrong and continue forward, because if not, we'll be constantly looking backwards while moving forward, and that always leads to some type of disaster. To make a long story short, or perhaps a short story shorter, we should all take some time to reflect on what this year truly means, and remember we have much work still to do. As each year passes us, we draw ever closer to the motive behind our urgency, and as we continue pressing forward, lets not forget to remember the past so as to straighten our futures. Spit some intelligence at me.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

HEEEYY!! I've got soul, and I'm superbad. Sometimes I feel so nice, good gawd, I jump back, and I want to kiss myself! OOOOOWW!! James Brown, definitely the man. Definitely. What's today? Tuesday is it? Well, nothing too big and hip to report, just the normal, been sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing, I guess I should be doing something, anything to make up for what I'm not doing, but oh well to that. And what am I talking about? Nothing really. I want to go do something cool tonight, but I guess I'll have to wait till tonight to see what crackalacks. Definitely into crackalacking, and all that. As far as the deep thoughts go, I've not had much lately, been taking in the James Brown, listening to him got me feeling funky. And walking around the house screaming. Or singing as I'm sure he'll call it. Anyway, I'm going to call it a day for now, I'll be sure to come back the next time with something a little better.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

So I must be in quite the introspective mood as of late, maybe its because I've really not got much to do out here housesitting but think. As usual my mind wanders like a lost sheep. While I was taking in the full richness of a 1080 interlaced digital movie, or rather movies, I was noticing that my mind was finding it hard to wrap itself around the plots that were laid before me. As I watched woman after woman after woman fall in love with man after man after man, I kept thinking, how'd that happen? They barely talked, they hardly knew each other. All she did was look at him for less than a few days and suddenly she's professing her undying love to him? He doesn't even really know her beyond the polyester and makeup. Does he realize that he's marrying into a lifetime commitment, one that shouldn't be taken so lightly? I guess that's why in all the sequels the bond that was formed is never still present. For instance, at the end of Shangai Noon, Roy and Chong Wan were in love with the Indian and the princess respectively. At the start of the sequel, Shangi Knights, they had long forgotten both. Roy was married to the Indian, and he'd left her in two days. It was shocking to Chong Wan, but not to me, because there wasn't a solid foundation. A few weeks with little talking, or a near death experience isn't what makes a bond between a man and woman strong. Its comparable to concrete, you can't just throw some water into the dirt and expect it to form into a solid, smooth, perfect parking lot. You have to prepare ingredients, take the time to mix the right amount of water in, and then pour the concrete just right over the course of time to really get the desired product. And that's why I think so many relationships end in disaster, because the couples involved think they can fall in love in days. There is no love on first site. Attraction yes, lust, yes, even friendship, but love, the bond of union between a man and a woman doesn't form on the first night. If you up to a woman or man that you've just met and say, "you know what? I LOVE you," he or she will freak out. Because there's no such thing as spontaneous love. I think the society we live in refuses to believe that. There's instant coffee, popcorn, fast cars, instant internet connections, buying and selling of millions of units of products all can occur instantly, so why can't this little emotion that cements the greatest relationship known to man also be in an instant? It doesn't work that way. There's no way that you can instantly learn how to do complex calculations, things like stoichiometry, calculus, or even just computing triangulation instantly. Even with a computer, it takes time, it takes programming and checking and more programming, my point is this. Love isn't an instant emotion, there is no way to "instantly" fall in love with someone. If you find yourself instantly falling in love, then something is wrong. Granted it takes more time for some than others, but in the long run, you will find that it takes some substantial period of time for love to develop. I'm not talking days, I'm not talking weeks, in some rare cases not even months. Love is an investment, you have to put in time and effort to develop it. At any rate, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't buy the instant love ideal that seems to be running amuck in the minds of the majority. Note that I said minds, and not hearts, because oftentimes the mind can fool the heart to believe that strong attraction we feel when we're around someone, that sudden rush that their presence brings, that doesn't mean that we can feel that way for years to come. Or maybe it does. What do I know? If I were such the expert, I'd be married by now and living life happily. Someday I'll understand. Till then spit intelligence at me.

Friday, December 26, 2003

Beauty fades, at least that what everyone tells me. Honestly, I think it would be better said outward beauty fades. Inner beauty comes from a person's personalities, perceptions, and the qualities that they've developed over the course of their life. At least that's what I tell myself in an effort to make up for my obvious lack of physical beauty. Maybe in the long run, those who aren't beautiful die before those who are because of their constant stress over whether or not they are beautiful to other people. Speaking of which what makes the difference between attractiveness and beauty? And don't say beauty fades. That's the obvious statement. I think more than just the outward appearance makes someone attractive. Ever known someone that when you saw that person, you thought they looked horrible. Then after talking to them, getting to know them, you begin to notice more and more that they didn't look as bad as you thought they did at first. You began to be attracted to them, not because they had a beautiful outward appearance, obviously, but because of their personality, and the common goals and likes that you shared. Of course, after some time away from the person, if you saw them again, suddenly you saw what you saw at first, and that's the hideous beast. Maybe I'm just shallow, or maybe I'm not shallow enough. Shallow people have it easy. They don't question how they feel or what makes them feel a certain way. They just go through life blissfully ignorant. They don't bother to look beyond a person's outward appearance, as long as the person is cute and can speak their language, its all good. There's no need for deep thought, or abstract reasoning there. As dull as that sounds, I could live life like that. My blog would be full of things that I did, or the shoes or clothes that I bought. As it is, you have to tear through overly structured prose designed to make the reader think. Is that such a terribly hard thing to do? Not really. Technically I spend my time typing the things that come into my head. As I have the tendency to say, my mind is a scary place. I've been trying to get out of it for years now. Anyway, that's about all I got to say for the moment, here's a cool link for ya. An ice cold link to be exact. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Call it a day, ladies and gents. I've not got a lot to say, just wanted to "check in", show a little blog love. As far as my day went, well nothing much went down. Played a few games, read a few books, so forth and so on. No real thoughts. But I will leave a cool link for you. Two actually. Link One
Link Two Trust in me and follow them blindly. Or don't. I wouldn't mislead you would I?

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

I don't know what you heard about me, but I wouldn't pull a blaster on me. I don't know why these droids want to try, I'm still a J-E-D-I! And thusly I sang as I attacked droid after droid in KOTOR (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for the uninitiated) Alas, those droids did want to try, and even though I was a J-E-D-I, they still put the smacketh down to me. Which brings me to my point today: in video games as you go the resistance gets stronger, and you begin to think to yourself, "Self, this is getting insanely difficult, why should I go on?" At what point is hard too hard? In life or a video game, when do you say, enough is enough, and walk away? I'm not talking about committing sucide, so the worriers can rest easy, but if you're undertaking a task, say you were trying to lift a car, at what point do you say, okay, this car cannot be lifted, or okay, I need to just step back and do something else. Of course with a game, you can always just come back to it later, and pick up where you left off, no penalty, but life, well life's not a game obviously. The penalties for taking a break, if you will, are many and harsh. Often we pay those penalties without a second thought, but that doesn't mean that the cost wasn't great. The things we give up are often the things we undervalue, simply because we've never experienced or possessed those things. If I've never had my favorite meal, its really not going to be my favorite is it? And therein lies my point, if we give up, if we sign those things over with our resignation, we'll never truly know what we missed out on. And that is a risk, that no one can afford to take. Maybe I'm just a senile young man with too much on his mind, or maybe I don't have a point in the world. Who cares? I hope you do. . .spit some intelligence.
Mid week, and here I am. Still out at Jeremy's house, still surviving, though I've been having the weirdest dreams since I got out here. One of them made me so confused I woke up with tears in my eyes. The other one is probably most likely to happen. The first one was about an old girlfriend, I had this dream that the guy she was with died, and she came back to me. I was so torn apart, I was literally crying. Its making me tear up now thinking about it. If that ever really did happen, I always wonder what I'd do. Probably same thing I did in the dream, cry and enjoy. Ah, well the other dream is a lot more relevant, I was at a restaurant and when I came out, my car was gone. And I do mean, GONE!!!!!!!! Nowhere to be seen, just some glass on the pavement, and my MP3 player. Apparently the thieves didn't want that, figured it was a piece of crap, then I asked this girl for a ride, she took home, but my house was a farm, and Judi was there, and she was running around in the backyard, because we had sheep back there, and she said she loved sheep, so she was running through the flock of sheep. Meanwhile, back at the ranch house, me and Dad left for some supplies and while I was waiting for Dad to pick the supplies up this guy came along and kidnapped me and made me ride in a taxi cab with him. He was angry man, I mean really angry, kept spewing about how cabs mistreated black people, and a lot of racist stuff, then he kicked the cabbie out and he was speeding all over town, shouting disturbingly Islamic things at the black people in the street. We crashed and we took this cool little red retrocaddy, that had a Jimi Hendrix quote on the windshield, and a diamond in the back, digging the scene with a gangsta lean. Till my dad came and pulled him outta the car, beat him up and then we took that car home, and dad said I could have it if I paid him 3,000 for it and kept it up. And we argued about that all the way home, and to the end of the dream, cause I woke up then. So that's the dreams that have been making my sleep restless, seriously, because I've been real tired since I came out here, partially because I'm dreaming more out here. Which isn't shocking or anything, because I always dream more when I sleep somewhere other my bed. At least in my experience I do. Some of my weirder dreams have happened on someone else's couch. Anyway, I've got to be going so give my regards to broadway. And launch some saliva intellectual like.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

You know, Superman could afford to be a boyscout. He's invunerable. Whenever a villain attacked a tourist bus, or a boat full of innocents, Superman could easily say, we'll track him down later, right now, lets save these people's lives. Granted, Superman had some good qualities, but really, how dangerous is it for you save people's lives if the only thing that can hurt you in a crystalline growth not found on earth? If I were an alien endowed with special powers and red underwear, I'd figh crime too. Speaking of red underwear, Superman was a total glory hog. What self respecting super hero wears BRIGHT red and blue, with a large S on his chest. He might as well scream, "Hey look at me, I am the man of steel!!" And what exactly is the deal with his glasses? How can so many people assume that Superman is so powerful, he'd never backdown from a fight, or act so humbly? Wait a minute, let me take my glasses off. Okay, this is Javann here. Wait, let me put them back on, I'm Clark the dweeb, mild mannered and softspoken, yet of the same height and impressive build as Superman. Though our facial structure too is remarkably similar, as well as our inflection and vocabulary, you shouldn't worry, I wear glasses and I am meek and mild. Certainly not strong. That would be preposterous. Superman would never feign humility in an effort to disguise himself. Superman also wears his underwear on the outside of his tights. What were the artist's who created the costume of Superman thinking? What self-respecting man wouldn't wear his matching underwear where they could be seen? Either way, Superman is in need of much more than a makeover. I recall a time when they attempted to make him more popular in the comic books. The way to do this of course, was to kill him. Exactly my point. If the only way to become more popular and likeable to your so-called fans is to die, then I think its time to reconsider a new path in life. I could picture Superman filing books in a library or as a laboratory assistant, someone who blows on the volatile chemicals to keep them cold. However, Batman, now there's a real hero. Pure skill and deductive reasoning, as well as determination, and a decidely dark demeanor is what makes this hero four or five times better than Superman. Its an age old debate really, and apparently Batman wins in a fight between him and Superman everytime because Superman's not much of a challenge. And Batman is a formidable foe indeed. Either way, feel free to salivate some intelligence my way.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Nothing like a little time away from home to clear the head. Greetings visitors, thanks for taking the time to read whatever random thoughts I've produced. So what's new with me? I had a accident, I owe the man that I still think is in the wrong 300 odd dollars, and I'm staying out at Jem's house while he's away in Hawaii. I hope he has a great time down there, life here is still pretty crappy. I've got to settle the 300 dollar deal tomorrow, so more on that later. What else is new with me? Not much, I'm pretty upset about losing the money, but oh well, that's not the first time I've hit something in the car, I really should pay better attention to where I'm going and what I'm doing. Foolish man that I am, I might end up dead, or worse. That's pretty much all I have to say for today, I've really not got any real thoughts, just more or less trying to get by. Take it easy, knuckleheads.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

And then suddenly, everything became quiet and still. The wind stopped blowing and the songs of the birds died down. It seemed as if time itself stood still, as the blades of dying grass stopped arcing in the wind. There was nothing to be heard anywhere, a moment when all things waited. Watched. Strained to hear what was to be said next. My throat became dry, and as I tried to wet it by swallowing, I realized that at that moment, I had never felt more important, nor had I ever felt more afraid. There was so much to lose, so much to gain, and so much that I'd never really thought about until that moment. The wrong words uttered would forever affect my life negatively, and only by averting this tragedy would I pull the shambles that had become my life back together again. I could feel the phone pressed upon my sweating flesh, and I could hear the silent breaths on the other end. I was so free, and yet I could hear the shackles that bound me, that weighed me down as I struggled to sprint off into the sunset. The weight on my shoulders became so great that standing suddenly became difficult and I was forced to sit down. My bookbag slid from my shoulders as I tried to find some way to relieve the pressure that was welling up on my back. The breath in my lungs fled, as I tried to fight back all the surging emotions that had waited for so long to surface. All the nights I'd spent fearing this moment all rushed back to me in vivid technicolor, and for that moment alone, I felt righteous indignation, biting shame, unforgettable arrogance, and stinging humiliation. As I felt all these things swirl over my body, causing me to sweat profusely, I leaned my head against the window above the air condition unit that I sat on. I could feel the cool air hitting my leg, and I knew that my last vestige of happiness had officially fallen. As I sucked in the cool air, I knew that what I was going to say would forever doom me to complete and utter unhappiness. I'd never know what it felt like to be completed, to be whole ever again, and suddenly as the rage of injustice surged through me, I felt as if everything was suddenly against me, entrenched in my battle to be happy. And yet, I found that I didn't care. I felt as if I'd never care again, about anyone or the hollowness I was already beginning to feel inside. "I guess this is it. Its over. . ." were the last words I barely whispered as I stared at the increasingly blurry linoleum. "We're through."

Thursday, December 11, 2003

So, here I am. Back in the computer lab for yet another intriguing episode of "What's on Javann's Mind?!?!" Ever notice how narrow the subjects of songs are? There's only about three or four real subjects for singing about. Its rare that you see anyone singing a song about something other than
1) newly found love
2) lost love
3) partying and/or celebrating
4) intense emotional feelings
That's every song ever sang in a nutshell. And I'm not including all of those educational songs that Sesame Street or Eureka's Castle presented as a fun way to learn. There's nothing fun about puppets singing. Tragic, perverse, yes, fun, no. As of late, rappers have added a new type of song, (if you call what they do singing, or music for that matter) and that's grandiose bragging. There's nothing that spurs on a rap song than bragging about who you shot, or what other crimes you've committed in your quest for money, power, and ultimately a rap deal. I'm beginning to think that drug dealers are comparable to waitresses in Hollywood. They're all waiting for their big shot, but to pay the bills in the meantime they hand out substances to be consumed for the general pleasure of the buyer. Now guess which one I'm talking about. On the other hand, the world wouldn't be where it is now if it weren't for the beauty of music, in all of its forms. Of course, the world's in quite the condition, and I doubt any musician would want credit for bringing it where it is now, so perhaps that's not such a great statement after all. Blame my cynicisim, but I've been known to say that I'd not want the job of fixing problems, yet every four years or so, someone comes around saying that's exactly what they'll do. I wonder if politicians realize that there's no way they'll be able to solve all the problems and issues that are inherently attached to the jobs that they are striving for. At some point, they have to just say to themselves, "You know, world peace and ending world hunger really aren't viable goals. Lets just try to get re-elected, and then next term I'll have a steady job." You know, I wonder if they do that now? Of course, there's nothing I enjoy more than slamming my stomach up against a desk, I'll be happy to let you walk buy, you pompous. . .oh sorry, I'm distracted easily. What was I saying? has officially turned into selfish greedy suits, and dumped all of my songs off of their site. I had over 20 songs on that site, and not only had they restricted me to only putting three up at a time, but they now want are deleting those songs without so much as a by your leave. Don't feel obligated to take my hard copyrighted work seriously and at least warn me that these songs that I've so graciously allowed you access to are very soon going to go the way of binary oblivion. Far be it from me to expect you to store the content that you AGREED to store when I signed up for your service. Its your server, you can do whatever you want with it, and don't worry, I don't expect at LEAST an email warning me of the destruction of my creative properties. Wait, do I sound cynical, maybe even bitter? It just might be because I am a tad angry to find out that I no longer have access to the service that found so unprofitable. Oh well, its all a business, but I've also lost access to about three of my poems, I think there's an actual limit to how many you can store on, I remember having 41, and now I'm down to 38 or 39. Lovely, lovely, one of those poems was really very good, and now well, now its floating somewhere in binary oblivion. You have to love that. You just have to. That being said, I believe this to be long enough as it is, I guess this is where I'll call it quits. "But Javann, you said nothing of your day!" After reading this far into such a rancid bit of ranting, do you really want to know how my day went? "No, not really, but I'll be sure to spit some intelligence." You should do that, I'd appreciate it. And I'm reduced to talking to the voices in my head. . .wonderful. I'll go do something productive now, like take a nap.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

"I can't believe that you'd just turn your back on ten years of struggling, just because you feel as if you don't know me anymore. How could you know me? All you ever do is sit in that same spot on the couch and watch the television, over and over again."
"I might do more than that if you'd. . ."
"If I'd what? Take you out more? Everytime we go out, all you talk about is how horrible you look compared to another woman! I don't want to hear about your insecurities. . ."
"MY insecurities? You might as well call them YOUR insecurities! I'd never question myself if I didn't see the way that you look at other women. . ."
"And HOW do I look at them?"
"You look at them like a dog looks at a steak! I can see the hunger in your eyes. I can tell you'd rather be with them. It doesn't take a rocket scientist. . ."
"What do you mean, I'd rather be with them? I'm not with them, I'm with you, what more do you want from me?"
"Why don't you act like it then?"
"When I get paid, who gets my check?"
"Don't try to throw money at me, like I'm just some cheap lady of the night that you can buy off! I don't need your. . ."
"You don't need my money?!?! Then WHY am I paying all the bills? WHY don't you have a job? You were in debt when I met you. . ."
"No, I wasn't! I was paying all of that off. . ."
"Then you were in debt!! And now, YOU don't need ME? If anything, I don't YOU! Maybe I should leave, then you'd appreciate. . ."
"Appreciate WHAT?! You? You don't do anything but make me hate myself! I used to dress up nice and do things, go out and have drinks with friends. I never felt insecure before I met YOU!"
"I've never seen you dressed up nice. Not since I first met you."
"That's because you're not worth dressing up for."
"When I first met you, you were so beautiful. Ten years later I still remember it like yesterday."
"Oh stop."
"I'm being honest. I've never felt anything like what I felt that night. Do you remember that night?"
"Of course, I remember. You were so handsome. . ."
"But I couldn't hold a candle to you. You made me want to be a better man. I swore that night that I would do whatever it took for you to love me."
"I do love you. . ."
"Then why are we fighting? You know I love you, and that you're the only one for me."
"I don't know, I just. . ."
"Do you still love me?"
"I. . ."
"Do you?"
"I still love you, but. . ."
"Then let's not fight anymore."
"But. . ."
"But I've found someone else. . ."
"Someone else? Who?"
"Does it really matter? He loves me, I love him, we're going to run away together. . ."
"But. . ."
"But. . .I LOVE you. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"It did ten years ago."

Monday, December 08, 2003

My neck. My back. My neck and my back!! After a semi intense game of tackle football in which the objective was not to get hurt, here I am, hurting like nobody's business. I think I got whiplash. Anyway, the game itself was fun, it just prevented me from doing anything else that night. I was falling asleep at nine o'clock, something so rare for me that i forced my self to stay awake until four that morning. It makes a lot of sense, I know, but I've got nowhere to go today, and nothing to do other than study for an exam. And I've studied my brains out already, trust me. I will however, go have a late lunch somehwere, so I think, I'll close this out early for that purpose. I'm sure you're wondering who won the football game. I don't remember. After a few hits, my memory got real short, and I started seeing things that weren't there. Actually, I just didn't bother to keep up with score, other than I scored once I think, or maybe it was twice. I got my bell rung by Jon. I'll describe that before I go. We were about three yards from the TD and I wanted to run up the gut, so I started to run, but then I looked and saw two defenders waiting for me, and I didn't think I could power past them before I got dropped, so I swung to the outside, and barrelled over Tremaine (who was on my team, sorry Tre!) and whoever he was blocking (i think Jared) hopped on for the ride, and then another person did too, and I was dragging em thinking, yeah, I got this one, I'm taking two in for six. Then suddenly I hit the ground and my neck snapped like a whip and everything went black for a few seconds. I managed to hang on to the ball, which is really funny, considering how close I got to letting go of consciousness. Either way, I found out that Jon had come over and put a good full speed hit on me. Knocked my legs out from underneath me. Now that's good stuff. My neck hurts now from it. Oh well, maybe I'll see it coming next time and push through on him. Spit some intelligence at me, it seems I'm getting less and less intelligent by the minute.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

Okay, okay, so that last post was somewhat anger driven. I'm fine now really. I'm still not sure why I'm angry, or I guess I should say, why I was angry, I think it was the headache starting to get to me, I've had one for the last two days, and its not been cooperating like usual and going away. But anyway, so I'm sure you're dying to know what happened tonight. And I can't let you die can I? No I can't!! So we went to this party in Athens tonight. It was Aaron's graduation party. And if you hit up the last few journals, the last party was (though refreshing) Sunday through Saturday, if you feel what I mean (weak, if you don't). So I was hoping this would be off the chains. Disappointed I wasn't, the party was rather jumping, off the hook and chains, ya know? Glowsticks and dancing was to be had, and a good time was had by all. So after getting the groove on, shaking what my mama gave me, popping and locking and whatnot, we all go to the parking lot and conversate, socialize, and so forth when someone started kung fu fighting. (Huyh) Man those guys were fast as lightening (Hah). It was a little bit frightening (Huyh) but they used expert timing (Hah). Actually, we were all in the parking lot acting silly, and then Jeremy dashes over to Skyler's car, and I don't want to get left, so I hop in, and we take off. Did I mention this is Skyler's car, and Skyler's not in it. Skyler's running after the car trying to get in, and he's not doing a good job. So we take off down the highway, and we stop at McDonald's, turn the hazard lights on, so Sky can see the car. What happens after that is all kinda blurry. Somehow, Skyler gets to Micky D's, has a key to the car, Jeremy climbed out my window, and ran off, Skyler grabs me slams me, Jeremy dove into someone's car, they took off, and the next hour or so was Skyler chasing Jeremy vowing to do physical harm to him. He never caught Jeremy. The boy runs like a crackhead. That's my politically incorrect phrase for this blogging, the boy runs like a crackhead. Anyway, Jeremy finally gets back in the car, we headed home, and then there was McDonald's for everyone. Yay. And that was my weekend. Anyway, I'm officially beat, so I'm going to hit the hay. Feel free to leave your thoughts comments knowledge and general saliva.
You know what they say about tomorrow being a brand new day? That is complete and total crap. Tomorrow is worse than today, and will never be as good as yesterday. If I'm doing foolish and stupid things today, or if I'm starving and I can't find a job today, tomorrow will eventually be the day I die. Why should I look forward to tomorrow? I know this makes no sense, but I'm not having the best day today. I really just have alot of pent up anger, and I've no idea why. I've got nothing really to be angry about, but I feel like I'm going to snap at any moment. The day's not helping me, this is truly a day when you can savor a mood like this. There's none of that pesky sunshine to bother you, nor is there any warmth. Its a cold dreary day, begging to turn into a more cold dreary night. There's nothing like that to inspire depression or in many cases a nice hot rage, soon to be a boiling wrath. I guess I should simmer down, I've not had that bad of a week, and things are going good, but I have this desire to just rage on someone. I can't shake it, and I really would prefer to go out and unleash this nice anger some way. Oh well, maybe when I hop into the shower before I go party, I'll feel a little better. Later gators. . .wait, that's way too trite of an ending. Just go do something else.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

I've managed to erase two posts. I'm not going to let it happen to a third one. I had a nice rant about how I didn't like psychatrists, and how lazy and pathetic they are, but the truth of the matter is, I don't feel like continuing the theme. I also managed to be ironic involving Hardees. Trust me it was quite the posting. Right now after having typed so much and lost it, I'm ready to call it a day. And therefore I will. If you want a deep thought, I'm afraid you'll have to do it yourself. Sorry ladies and gents, sorry.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

SHA AZAM! Tis the second day of the week, and the second blog I've had the chore. . .er uh, I mean pleasure of typing up. So what'd I do today? Well, went to class (of course) and here I am back in my sweat pants and cold feet. Its nearing the end of the semester, things are getting tight, dare I say, dangerously so, as I strive to maintain at least some semblance of scholarly learning. Nothing much going on, outside of my normal cerebral ponderings (yeah I'm having a big word day). I was watching Spiderman the other day, and I started thinking about how we as humans express emotions. Why do we kiss each other? I mean think about it. We kiss each other, hold hands, and many other things, but really, why? Is there a physical reason why being kissed by someone makes us feel loved? Or that we feel secure when we hold someone's hand? And what about those couples who can't keep off of each other in public. Why does that repulse us, to kiss someone in public (well, it repulses me) and yet its okay in private? Really what defines public? Because if it were two or three people, okay, this is okay, but up the number and suddenly we are IN public. I guess I'm just a wonderer (in the good sense of the word, of course) and I will never really be satisfied with accepting things the way they are. Why not question the many "norms" of society instead of accepting them. Great minds take what society has given them, and the expound, expand, and create their own systems. Look at Einstein. He took the theories, the math, and the thoughts of that time, and carried it into a new direction. I guess this may not be the best example, but at this point I'm rambling without purpose, and well, its rather enjoyable, so I'll not stop. My point is, why don't we as humans question things more? One endearing facet of human life is the curiousity, the desire to learn, the endless quest for knowledge. But so many people are simply content learning what they need to get by, doing only what is necessary, in hopes of attaining happiness. But how can you be happy, when there is so much that you don't know? We don't understand or fully comprehend so many things in our lives, it really begs of us to ask, why? Why, what, where, when, who, how? Life could be propelled solely by our desire to know everything, if we truly let it. But the man who seeks the answers to everything, often finds the answers to nothing, since truly life is full of trivial vanities, social inequities, and ultimately, the greatest hinderance to learning, death. We could be more precise and specific in learning the things that are most dear to our hearts, but that route takes us back to the tunnel vision that is so prevalent now, because we realize that death is what forces us to try to squeeze all the happiness we can out of life, when really life's happiness comes from learning. Apparently, this paradox will hamper mankind until something is done to remove it. Either way, my deep thought concludes for today, I'm sorry the path to this finale was a tad twisted and curved, but the prominitories of my mind, of everyone's mind, runs very similar to the road that was followed here. Feel free to spit your own intelligence.

Monday, December 01, 2003

Well, the weekend's officially over and it finds me here, at Jeremy's house typing on his laptop. I know, i know, you're thinking, what the deuce has happened? Well, not much my friends, not much. There was a party over in. . .uh. . .well, there was a party. Can't remember where or doing what, but i remember it. At least that's what Ben told me. I was so convinced that I called my good friend, Jared, asked if he wanted to party, since Jared's all about the partying. So we all pack up in the car, and we drive up to Nashville, and beyond really, because, you know, its in Hendersonville. So we drive there, crammed into Jerm's car, which says alot about the extent that'd we go to for a good party. And we get there, get lost thanks to the guy with directions (Ben!!!) not being able to really read the directions. I'd say I was suprised but considering the deceit that he'd already laid down, I guess I should've expected that, since he was expecting a party too. At least that's what he told us. And he just deleted a ton of my save files. ARRGGHH!! Anyway, make a long story short, we got there and I felt old. Let me explain. I was old. I was the oldest person there, barring Kevin and Jeremy. And they left me there. ARRRGGGHHH!!! (twice) Anyway, I spent the night playinhg spoons and thinking, ah well, at least I didn't miss anything cool. Yeah, but I did miss my bed, cause I slept on Jerms furniture. Now my butt hurts. Oww, my butt. Actually its more like my hip, my neck, and my back. They all feel funny, really. And I'm hungry. Well, Jerm if you read this, I'm raiding your kitchen. You've officially donated to the FTBGTC fund. That's the Fund a Tall Black Guy Through College Fund. Thanks, I'll be sure to lock up before I jet. Thanks for the crash pad, man. Take it easy ladies and gents, don't forget to spit some intelligence on YOUR way out.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Aight then, I'm back and I'm feeling pretty good. I think. . .maybe I'm just a figment of my imagination. So what am I thinking right now? I'm thinking a lot of things. So here's the randomness of the thoughts. For one thing, I'm thinking about getting contacts, its not really a I want to look better thing, I don't think I can look any better (take that how you want to) but I am sick of glasses in general. I take them off at the first chances I get, and I only really wear them to drive, so the cops don't try to give me more ticket than I deserve. I really want contact lenses but they're like thirty a month. And if there's one rule that I have, its I don't spend that much money on looking good. Or I guess I should say what I consider luxury items. Maybe that would fall under cosmetics. Of course, its not like i don't have the money, I could afford contacts, but if my only reason is that i'm sick of glasses, then really that's not much of a reason, since contacts ain't really my idea of low maintenance. My second thought has to do with cleats. I kinda want to buy a pair. I have no money for them. Well, I don't want to spend the money on them. Can you see the theme that's developing here? I want (item here), but I don't want to pay (amount here). I guess that's just the way things roll. If anyone has a size 13 or 14 cleats that I can borrow for this weekend, feel free to let me know. I promise they'll come back smelling good (at least!) So the third thought of this elongating blog is my car. The car is getting kinda expensive, I've got a ton of stuff to do to it, like the door handle, the backlight, the brake hoses, the engine mounts, the oil changes. . .the money I'm making is going straight into the car. I really really really really really wish I had a better job, something where I don't have to lift heavy stuff. I'm not against hard work, but I really enjoy it more when it's not for pennies. Everyone works for pennies, I guess, but some people are getting millions of pennies, and I'm really only getting hundreds. I think we should all get paid in pennies, and there's nothing better than copper. At least that's my thoughts. Anyway, there's my thoughts, take em or leave em. Feel free to spit your own intelligence. In fact, I encourage it.
Whoo!! Hey hey, people, its the man of the sore throat, once again reminding you to AVOID sicklings!! Avoid them like the plague, or one morning you'll wake up with a sore throat and serious sinus drainage. Actually, I think I have a sinus infection, since my throat's not very sore, and I've not got a fever, just a little drainage here and there. Either way, today is the day of all things getting shut down, so its not like i can cruise over to the doctor and get a checkup or any such nonsense. Just hit me this morning that there will be no cashing of my check at all (stupid day of closings!!) Well, the cool things going on involve the circuit overseers visit, more fun than a barrel of monkeys, that man. He's like butta (hahahahahahaha!!) Actually, he's really very great, a very funny man, and he and his wife are wonderful people. And I've only truly known them for what? Three days? Their names are Ron and Becky Emmerson, and they are spectacular, I don't really have enough adjectives to truly describe them, and if you have met (or meet them) you (will) know what I mean. D's headed to Indiana with Ashley so (if I can quote an anonymous source), "Ashley can show her man off to her friends." ROFL!! That oughta be fun for him, I'm going to call him while he's up there, and he'll probably think that I've lost my mind, because roam charges are nothing short of killer. Of course, roaming is what roaming does, and now I'm just babbling like a scared monkey with nothing left to say. Right. Anyway, that concludes today's semi deep thoughts, yeah, I know I promised candy and deep thoughts, and I missed on both counts. See if you can do better, spit your own intelligence if you will. . .

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Hey hey. Man, this weekend was uberhectic. There was so much to do and so little time to do it in. Fortunately, I've hit the break during school (YAY!!) and I'm now doing all things that are doable, and getting my rest and relaxation on in the process. So what exactly happened Sunday? Well, we hit up the skating rink, which is funny, because I can't skate and of course, I didn't. That was pretty cool, at least to an extent, there's nothing worse than realizing that your skating ability is the worse than a five year old's. I'd learn to skate, but well, its really not worth my time, and the wood burn that I have truly come to hate. Then we went to eat at O'Charly's that was pretty cool, had a half pound burger (most food for the smallest amount of money - Kevin) and I was gravely disappointed, cause it really wasn't all that. But it was medium well and by medium well, I mean it was pink. YAH!! But I was confident that the cook got it up to 125, and I've not started having any symptoms of E.Coli or cholera, so I guess I'm alright. Monday was pretty dull, not much to talk about. But you know, I've been making a bit of music, and writing a bit too, so expect to see some interesting stuff there. Anyway, this concludes the blog, have a great day!

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Ladies, Fellas!! What's the dealy? Just hopped back in from Tammy's wedding, and I was color coordinating with the wedding party on accident. Cause I'm just that good. The wedding went well, hopefully the marriage will run as smoothly as the wedding did, and they're life together will be filled with happiness. Not bliss, as bliss means somethings not right, either in life, or in one's head. I got a chance to cut a little rug, but then the security guard stopped me and took my knife, so I hit the dance floor like a dancing machine, doing all the moves I could like a dancing fiend. It was definitely most awesome, and I got a second to hit a corner by myself and think about the last wedding I went to, and how messed up I felt. That's been about a year really, and I remember ending up in the parking lot, tears falling from my eyes, and muddled thoughts falling from my head. While reflecting, I took the time to really look around the entire room, and I couldn't help but think, you know, there's only one girl in this room who really makes me feel again. I actually started writing a song about it in my head, something like, I can be cool in a corner or a crowd, as long as you're there with me, someplace quiet or someplace loud, as long as you're here with me. And then I lost my thought, because D walked by and slapped me upside the head. Seriously though, this is the first experience I've had with unrequited love, with having all these feelings for someone, but having them basically say that they don't care. I've not had to deal with something like this before, and every so often, all that goes through my mind is torch carrying is for the Olympic ceremonies, not for everyday life. I don't want to hold on to this like its a last shot, last ditch, give it what you got cause there's nothing else effort. But I don't. . .actually I can't completely forget about it. Curse these emotions of mine, sometimes I wish I couldn't feel anything. Anyway, changing the topic, there was the swankiest thing I've ever seen a wedding, a chocolate fountain. A literal fountain of chocolate. Not a big fountain, mind you, but even Willy Wonka had to start somewhere, and I'd imagine at the beginning of his chocolate factory, he had something similar to that in the lobby, till he came up in the world. The whole thing looked and of course tasted awesome, though a few people double dipped (TRINA!! Just kidding. . .or am I?). Speaking of smooth, Elliott hit up the ivories at the end of night, and belted out a homemade ballad, guaranteed to make all those of the feminine persuasion scream, swoon, and all around weak in the knees. He's got some pipes on him, I gotta admit, he's a very talented brother, hopefully he'll be able to put that talent to use somewhere worthwhile. Either way, he sings quite well. To make this short, I'm going to head out, I gotta get up tomorrow, and i'm already getting tired. Take it easy, ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I just realized I didn't get Wednesday's post up quick enough for it to be posted as what it was, which was Wednesday. Oh well. So what's going on, ladies gents? Nothing much going for me, I'm just sitting around thinking about how much I normally enjoy getting paid on Thursdays, and how much I'm not enjoying the idea at the moment. I guess I should quit tying up UAH's resources and start doing some school work on this computer, but well, have I ever done exactly what I should do? Today, my mind seems stuck on the many differences in the human frame. Even though we all have the same parts and components, it never ceases to amaze me how different we really are. You could find a 6'7 man who was my height, weight, race, and even born on the same day as me, but he wouldn't look like me at all. Even twins can be completely different, though they share much of the same genetic code. I really find it incredible that each human can be distiguished by its features, so much so, that those features become related to that human in our own minds. There is nothing cooler to me than that. Of course, that has a lot to do with the fact that the genetic code, the deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA (as I like to call it) makes it possible to have literally trillions of different varieties. We have the ability to produce 2^23 different combinations and each of us has a different genetic sequence we've inherited from our parents. Nowhere do you read of two guys who look just alike, but have no relatives beyond the common parents we all share. That is what many people would view as amazing, something that leaves me incredulous myself. Either way it goes, its nice to know there's not someone out there that looks like me. Or has my fingerprints. Which I altered last night when I cut my finger on the table, during work. Its a pretty deep gash, but its still not managed to slow down my typing. =) Anyway, I gotta go do that thing, that I'm going to do, you know. . . that thing. . .that I'm doing. . .thing. . .right.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Well, I guess I should explain the last few posts, that was me trying out my new guest host idea, and well, Jeremy helps us to understand why that idea needs a little finetuning. Today was truly a beautiful day. I've decided that I'm going to view life for what it really is, a gift, and not as something to be endured. I really did enjoy the fact that I was able to wake up today. I'm in semi good health truth be told, and though I could be in better shape, I'm really doing quite well. I don't have any serious problems, and believe it or not, I've got some truly wonderful friends, including the best friend that any man could possibly have and that's our Creator. Oftentimes I tend to lose sight of that, and of the fact that every day of life is really a gift and a privilege, one that I should use to fullest to do the things I know are right and true. I've really got no reason to ever feel down, though when I do I understand its really just the imperfections of my human mind and body that are also a gift, and one that will improve with time. So to keep a long story short, I've not felt this content in years. I was thinking about all this today at work, and that's when it hit me that life isn't what causes me to feel down. I'm the cause of that, and there's plenty I can do about either of those things. SO!!! Onto the next topic of the day. A good friend told me that other people who've seen my poetry are worried that I'm manic depressive or in deep psychosis. Well, truth be told I did test out to be about 75% mentally unstable in Psychology 101, but I'm really pretty sane. And yeah, I do talk to myself, and some of my poetry can be a little dark, and yeah, I write about people dying or about robbing stores, and I use the word crap a lot, but the main fact can't be ignored: I'm not a person with issues, I'm just a guy with a lot of expressive creativity, that oftentimes shouldn't really be expressed. But if you're not thoroughly convinced, and you're one of the people who are worried that I don't have issues, I have volumes, ask me to let you read my happy poetry at some point. OR go to and search for me (Javann Jones) and read a few poems. Some are dark, but there's some light ones sprinkled in there, as well as some silly ones. I guess that's what you get when you take a slice of me. Some dark, some light, and a nice swirl of them both. So to recap, I'm not suffering from manic depression (i'm not on medidcation), and I'm a generally nice guy. Ask a few friends. Okay, I'm really not that nice of a guy =), but I'm likeable. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Tell the story kids!! Its Monday, another day of incredible things, doing even more incredible things and sometimes some incredible thoughts. Unfortunately, its also the day of "I Gotta Get Up And Go Somewhere After A Rough Weekend". That just seems to be the way things go for me. At least one thing is for sure. Pam Grier is not my mother. LOL. Anyway, I'm going to go do some positive thinking, holla at me with thoughts and/or intelligence. And yes, there's a difference.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Well well!!! What's going on majors and majorettes? Its yet another weekend, and yet another week that I've had the. . .pleasure of neglecting the whole blog. SO what happened this week? I'm sure you all are dying to know, since my life is such a hot topic in so many internation circles. Actually this week contained a lot of nothing. You already know about the all nighter, that might explain the incredible amount of nothing that i did this week, I was still dazed and confused from the lack of sleep. I also played some monoply, some pingpong and that was pretty cool, I quit the monoply early one because I farsaw my eventual demise. And we all know how much I detest my ability to fortell things. Right. So what's on tap for this weekend? I'm really not all that sure, I know there'll be something called bowling going on. . .I think that's the proper name for it. That game where you take the heavy round ball and roll it down a wooden lane that has been highly polished and shined for maximum rollage. That should be fun, since i always score about 33% of the possible score. How much of a loser does that make me? Well, I'd do the math, but how often have you seen me do that? Not often. Well I'm off to watch the episode of Family Guy for hte night, that's my reward for staying up this late. Take it easy, tater tots.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

What day is it? Tuesday? I'm so tired I can barely think straight. I'm at the point now where sleep is like a drug, and it feels so good you just want to lean back and enjoy it untill you can't feel your legs anymore. Yeah, that's where I am at the moment. How's the good life elswhere? I think I've mentioned the tiredness already, so I'll keep that to myself, but I've just pulled an all nighter. Why? Because, I'm just not that bright. That's the main reason. That will always be the reason for me doing anything. Because I'm just not that bright. Oh well, I'm sure one day, I will be bright, or at least some semblance of intelligence will seep into my brain. Something will seep in most definitely, because right now its about as blank as the expression on Farmer John's face after a decent meal. I feel so. . .Amish? Nah, tired. Yeah, that's the word I'm looking for.

Monday, November 10, 2003

Okay, so its now officially another day. I'm supposed to be out in the garage, pouring my soul into paper and exposing my thoughts to the free medium that is paint, but instead here I am playing on the computer. Not to fear, all is not lost, I'm taking time to read much valuable information on the development of the internet. Why you may ask, seeing how this is perplexing stuff to consider. Well because, I have a test today. That's right, today, in about seven hours, give or take an hour. Of course, there could be nothing better, than making this test my wife, and slowly growing old together. I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds cool, so now I shall retire to the garage to paint. Feel free to spit some intelligence, and the first one to recognize the song lyrics contained in this blog will get either a hearty handshake or a free hug. Ole! Take it easy, milewalkers.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Sunday, the day of the dragon. Actually, its the day of the sun, but we'll just pretend that its the day of the dragon. As usual, its the end of the weekend, and man, am I bushed. I was on the East side, the West side, I even went across the bridge ya'll, cause I, cause I, cause I, cause I hear they really get down over there. . .well well I, do it, well well I hmm mmmm. . .for those of you who didn't get the opportunity to catch last week's blog, that was the O'Jays. So what did I do for this weekend, other than live for it. Not much, really, just some hard physical labor (my new phrase it appears) putting down dirt and sod out at the Kingdom Hall, to beautify the lawn and what not. That was pretty hard, and I got plenty dirty, I also forgot to pick up and keep this beautiful piece of quartz (i think it was quartz) that I found, that was really very beautiful, even Skyler thought it looked cool, and I tossed it aside to continue toiling and laboring, and well I forgot to pick it up before I left. And I told Ben to remind me to do that. And he didn't. So its all Ben's fault. Silly Benjamin. Also I missed a totally cool party where there was football to be had, and an even cooler drive to said party, because someone lived up on the mountain and it was a winding road. I heard two stories of near death, and I wish I could've driven that road. Oh well, I guess I'll get the chance to do it again at some other juncture in my life. Also I wrote a totally cool song for a really good beat that Juice put together for me, it ought be pretty good, if not totally and completely entertaining. Actually, it'll be horrible. Anyway, here's what I got written, feel free to spit your own intelligence and critique it. I'm all about critical analysis. As long as its not something like, make that seperate lines. Then it'd be really really long. I'm also all about space conservation.

I used to be the main one holding up the wall, folks ask me to dance I'd just say nah, I don't want to dance, I'm not taking the chance, to look like a fool, I'm trying to be cool. Then one night at this party, I noticed this girl, she was looking so good that she shook my world. She was an 8.9 on the Richter scale, she had her own hair and had her own nails, soon as I saw her I couldn't see no one else, so I tried to walk over to introduce myself. I was trying to dance but getting left behind, cause suddenly I got caught up in a Soul Train line. That's when hands started clapping fingers started snapping, I was wondering around not knowing what was happening. That's when, my body started moving, pretty soon I was on the floor grooving, I'd never felt more alive than that moment, I took the floor and stone cold owned it! People around were all shouting my name, and I was hotter than a barrel of fire, feeling the fame. It didn't matter whether or not I danced alright, all that mattered right then was that I danced all night. On the way home all that crossed my mind, was there ever going to be another time, when I could hit the floor dancing and shine, take any song played and make it mine, will I be able to dance at any occasion, I wanna dance and I'm losing my patiences. Cmon everybody dance to the beat, I wanna see you move your feet, C'mon!!

Later ladies and gents.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Hey, ladies, gents, whatever's in between. I've done nothing but neglect the ol blog this week, and with good reason. I've been feeling liket total crap. And that's not just your regular brand of crap, I mean complete and total crap. Like last night, I ate an entire deep dish pizza (you know the kind they were advertising on TV, by DiGiorno) and I made the mistake of getting just pepperoni. Topped off with Limade, needless to say, I felt like I was going to die the next morning, I know I sound like an old man but acid reflux is a real problem and it plagues people everyday. There's not much else to be said about that. And that's pretty much been my whole week. . .okay. As far as thought goes, I've not had many or any at all, though I've had some cool dreams. Like either last night or the night before that I dreamed I was a Jedi (yeah I know again) and I was just wreaking havoc, and then I had to go fight Darth Vader, and that was a totally awesome fight. I kicked his butt, him and his little AT-PT's. I was deflecting lasers and then I started fighting Darth, and Skyler was there, he was Padawan, and he was fighting droids. That was quite the dream. The cool part is that I was in complete black, and looked extremely Matrix like. That my friend, is what I call a dream. Oh yeah, I also bought another pair of shades, and two games. I got Metropolis Street Racer, and Space Channel Five. Both cool games deserving of my time and my money. Well maybe not my money, but definitely my time. Either way, I'm going to call it a day for the moment, cause I'm now rambling without much to say. Take it easy folks.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Must. . .never. . .eat. . .ribs. . .AGAIN!! I feel so sick. Hey people's who're reading this, its been quite the experience, really it was just quite the night. Oh what a night. . .I ate enough pork to be unclean by the Mosaic law for five weeks. Man, that was some good eating. My only hope is that it was all cooked good. Trichynosis is the last thing I need right now. . .or maybe that's what I need, they might pump my stomach then. And I could finally feel better. Breathe again and all that. Right. So I think I ate four racks of ribs, and I was going to break Kevin's record, but honestly, I'm glad I didn't. Kev's record was five, and I was on a roll until all that meat hit my stomach. Then, suddenly, common sense kicked in. And we all know what happens then. That's right, I stop thinking, and I go all primal. Not really, actually I just end up wishing I had something to stop me. Then Tremaine inspired me with the greatest saying ever, "Swallow your pride, not the pig!" And so I did. Believe it or not, pride was worse than the ribs. Speaking of which, I'm not even hungry today. I don't think I'll be hungry for the next three days. I gotta quit doing stuff like that this on days before I have to work. Anyway, that'll end Javann's thoughts for today. If you want something deep, check out some of the previous entries. October or September, both were good months actually. I'm going to go get something to drink, seeing how I can't eat anything just yet. Keep it real, riblets.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Don't you hate when you predict stuff, and then you're right? Nothing bothers me more than that. Because most of what I predict is someone using me, or even worse, me falling for something because I'm a total loser. Yeah, well that's negative self talk (to hear my communcations teacher tell it) and I engage in it quite a bit. I've always wondered how everyone else thought of themselves. How do you think of yourself? Is it always a happy and positive, or dark and negative? Are you hard on yourself, or do you think of yourself as being a great person? Me personally, I am extremely hard on myself, and I've continued to be that way, because truthfully, I'm not that great a person. I've got plenty of faults, and since I'm so close to them, they seem glaring and extreme. I'm sure from the surface I seem to be a normal person, but often when you scratch the surface of many things, you find things buried underneath, things that you don't want know, or see. With me, its as if i live underneath with those things, so I see them all the time, but I never see the surface, just like a fish living in polluted waters. I never see the ocean or what how it looks from above, but I can see how it looks from underneath, and I know its horrible. At least it looks that way to me. Oh well, I've done enough deep thought for one day, let me find something productive to do. . .

Sunday, November 02, 2003

Stacking the deck. Hey, ladies and gents. Its another beautiful night, and I'm here, and apparently, you're here too. So what should we do? Lets discuss the weekend. There was football to be had, and video games. The football game was fun, I guess, but the truth of the matter is, it was fun till this morning. When I got up this morning I was more pain than should be legally allowed in these here United States. Man, I couldn't move for about five minutes when I got up, and I couldn't think for about five more minutes. My dad told me to do something involving my unwashed masses (my laundry on the floor) and I had no idea what he said to me. I was just going with the flow. And we all know how much I enjoy that right? Right. . .so that was the morning thoughts for me. Then my afternoon thoughts consisted of me not wanting to go to work, there is nothing less fun than having to go to work when you feel like someone's attacking your body constantly with a steel bat. Not a wood one mind you, a steel bat. And that my friend, is a pain like no other. Well, there are other pains like it, but it really does feel like no other pain that I've ever known. Maybe that's because I'm a big whiny baby, and I guess I need to catch some cheese to go with my whine right? Right. Either way, I feel pretty good right now, barring the pain in my back. But that's expected right? Right. How many times have I said right? I lost count. You too? Most excellent. Anyway, lets call this a day, I'm going to go somewhere I can sit up straight and watch TV. Actually I'm just going to bed. Later, ladies and gents. Oh yeah, Jon if you catch this, I'm still formulating the verse. Catch me later aight?

Saturday, November 01, 2003

What's going on? This is yet another blog done from someone else's house. There's nothing better. This'll be short and sweet, but today was all about the football. I felt like crap when I got up, but I'm feeling mighty good right now. Mighty good. I gotta work tomorrow, so hopefully i'll be able to walk. Either way, I'm tired, and I want to play at some point, so I'm off to go do that. Take it easy, blog readers. Have a good weekend.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Well, we're a few hours deep into what I like to call the end of the week, and already I'm tired. Just finished with work, and now here I am at Jeremy's house. Today seems to be the day everyone calls Halloween. That means that everyone dresses as if they're Satan worshippers, and then they run around knocking on doors at night. And I guess everyone is okay with that. My biggest gripe with this holiday (other than the incredible pagan roots) is just that. Why would I want someone knocking at my door at night, and then threatening me for candy? Why would I buy candy to give to a bunch of overweight little brats that are driving through the neighborhood with their doting parents? The only reason I can think of is that they might end up with cavities, or even better, have early heartattacks. And so many wonder why America's youth are overweight. There's a whole day where they can get candy just for being dressed up. I'm sure the perfect costume for a lot of the kids is the Stay-Puft Man. Today I saw a woman old enough to be my mother walking across campus in a red Marilyn Monroe style dress (or at least the style she popularized) with a pair of shades on. Either she didn't realize how ridiculous she looked, or she thought it was okay for Halloween, but part of me wanted to run her down with the car to put her and that dress out of their respective miseries. Of course I didn't, but that's what I was thinking. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. . .

Thursday, October 30, 2003

The big day of Thor is upon us, reese's pieces. And today started out pretty horribly, getting up late, a slight throat tickle, which I'm sure will either be A) a horrible alien spawning inside my throat, waiting to bust free and bring death and destruction upon the world, or B) just another sore throat that pops up around this time. I'm thinking A's about right, but more than likely it'll probably be B. So what's the thought for today? Not much of one, last night I played some battlegrounds, got tag teamed again by the computer, not to worry this time, I blew them all away and leveled up. What else went down yesterday? Not much really, not much has really happened today. And there's nothing wrong with that. Lazy days are the days that I live for. That means I get to fade into the day and be lazy as well. And there's nothing wrong with that. I also enjoy taking time to enjoy what may be the last great freedom of my life. But other than all of that, things are going pretty well for me, I'm doing well in most of my classes (or so I'd like to think) and I'm trying to bring home the bacon. It'd probably help if I worked a little harder, and I gotta do laundry at some point today, but not to fear again, those are all things I shall do. I also have to go pay the government their fine for speeding, and I'm not relishing that, but I do know there is nothing more fun than giving people money, because I do it all the time it seems like. Either which way you look at it, we give something to everyone all the time, whether we like to admit it or not. For instance this semi-attractive girl walked into the computer lab right now, and I just looked at her. She just got some of the time and attention that I'm supposedly giving you right now. She also is now receiving some of your time and attention because I just mentioned her here. So as you can see, something as simple as looking at someone means that you are giving what you have as time to someone else. No doubt the people around me are devoting time to the fact that I'm sitting here constantly typing really without and letup. A few people have looked over here to see how I'm typing this fast, but they just gave me time attention and whether they will admit some level of respect. At least that's what I think. Anyway, I'll call it day here, thanks for the attention and time and take it easy aight, Skittles?

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

As the day fades into night, the young and the old both grow to appreciate the day, realizing that the minutes that seep away now are ones they will never regain. Somewhere on the other side of the earth, there's nothing more prominient in one man's mind. As he sits entrenched in the earth, his mind whirs with thoughts of forgotten activities. As he looks west, he notices the first rays of the sun crossing the now dark blue sky, and remembers the days when life was more simple. A time when there was nothing to do but sit under his favorite trees, and stare up at the stars at night, a time when he used his gun to hunt animals and not other humans. But here he was, face to face with a barbwire fence, and what seemed like an entire nation of enemies. A light stroke on his cheek served as a warning of the prick of the mosquito to come next. As he slapped at the insect, he noticed more and more of the sun beginning to peek over the hill. Somewhere out in the front of him, he could see the wind making the brush sway, dance. It moved like an awkward teenager, unsure of himself, as he tried to look "cool" during his first dance in public. A grin played across his face as he remembered the sweat that poured down his face that night, and how he'd hoped so much that he'd impressed her. Her. . .what was her name? He couldn't remember now, his mind had become so filled during his six months training, that it was as if it had entirely erased all of his previous memories. Her name had been all he could think for six months, but now it seems as if it were just an echo, growing more and more scant as time went by. Suddenly the brush moved unexpectedly, and time stood still as he raised his rifle, held his breath, and tried to steady his hands. The brush continued to move and then a green orb flew through the air and landed next to him. As he scrambled away, he could feel a force like he'd never felt before. It tore at his back and left heat in his shoulders, and as he fell to the ground he suddenly could remember her name. . . that name that had been in his head for so long he had forgotten it. As he felt black sweep over him, saw the boots that walked by his head, he could only think of one thing. . .Julia, that was her name. Julia.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Howdy doody ladies and gents? No candy, I've actually tapped myself out, and it only took a few weeks? Not to worry, I'm headed to Candy! Candy! (and that's the official title) to check out some different names, and load up on fresh types of candy real soon. Today consisted of shrugged off laundry and work! Nothing like work. And some studying and some class. But work was definitely fun and it seemed to last forever, actually it probably did last forever, I just have a skewed sense of time. But I did a bunch of hours this week, (a comparative superlative really) and I look forward to the paycheck that shall bring. While picking up after the filthiest animals on this planet (the Army Core Of Engineers, I happened to pick one of the dozens of free USA Today's that got left in the room. Being the avid reader that I am, I took the time to peruse the paper and literally was shocked to see a full headline involving stripping and how woman are not enjoying it. It was accompanied by a topless woman dancing for another older woman smoking a cigar. My first thought was, what the heck?!?! My second thought was, WHAT THE HECK?!?! What is the world coming to when women are going to strip joints to see other women dance? I'm a male, and I think that stripping, the act of taking off one's clothes in a sensual manner for the gratification of those watching is degrading to women. It doesn't celebrate the feminity of a woman, nor does it empower them. All it does is make men, and apparently women, feel more powerful than they really are. There is nothing empowering about disrobing in a room full of people simply to make them feel good. Nothing at all. I've never really bought all that jazz about celebrating the human form, but this even makes nudist colonies seem benign. The nudist colony's goal isn't sexual arousal (in some cases). The goal there is freedom from society. In stripping, the goal is to stimulate someone's senses to the point of sexual arousal. Why would any woman want to see another woman bumping and grinding on a pole? I was so disgusted by the idea that I couldn't finish the article. I'm thoroughly disappointed and disgusted. I genuinely hope that this is not the growing trend among human society, but unfortunately, it seems that it is. With each passing year, I notice more and more the depravity of mankind. It seems odd to call supposedly the most sentient beings on this planet perverse and utterly primal, but apparently this is exactly what human's have become. I think things will no doubt be worse before they become better. If anyone's offended by the topic of today, I'm sorry, because I am too. Later.
I'm blogging, hey hey, I'm blogging. Blogging around the block tonight. Whoo haa, Musketeers, what seems to be the verbose agreement? Tuesday has arrived taking us far far away from the depths of Monday, which consisted of fat people doing fat things to fatty foods. Okay, I don't know why I just said that, but yesterday was Monday, one of the best days I've had in a while. . .okay I don't know why I said that either, but anyway, I can proudly say I passed 25 and alive, a driving course designed to impress upon me the severity of youth and speeding. Unfortunately, it really didn't help much, as my teacher speeds herself, and really just doesn't care. We got out an hour early, so that was nice, and there was Subzone to be had at the class. Unfortunately, it wasn't free, so there really wasn't any subzone to be had for me. I had to think about how I could get the money to pay for this ticket that's coming up soon. Also, I gotta work today, and somehow get my laundry done, because between you and me (and you and you and oh yeah, most definitely you) I have no clean clothes to speak of. So I guess I better go put the washing machine to good use, at least get a few loads washed so I'll have something to wear the rest of the week. Of course, I could just procastinate like normal and do them Wednesday, I have enough clothes to wear to make it till then. I hope. I'm pretty sure I do. Sometimes I wonder who came up with the rules for how to comport oneself. For instance, having neat hair isn't such a big deal now, but it was huge not long ago. And many times there are people that still look down on those who's hair doesn't meet their standard of neatness. And what about the way you dress and how it causes people to view you? Who came up with the social rule that says my pants should be all the way up to my "waist" and I shouldn't have a lot of slack in them. Baggy clothes are indeed ill-fitting, but if I want to wear them, shouldn't I? Of course, right? But I know if they become too baggy, I then am spoken to by someone, or I'm made fun of by others. Who decides that my clothes are too baggy or too big? I certainly isn't me, because if it were it wouldn't matter. Either way, I think that somewhere along the line there was a standard set, and I'm sure as time continues there will be another standard that is set as well. Take it easy beef jerky's(its a candy in Germany right?)

Monday, October 27, 2003

Awww yes, ain't that fresh? Everybody wants to be down like that. . .what's going on Mike and Ikes? Nothing much here, just you know keeping it real, keeping it real. Actually I'm stalling before I go enjoy the wonders of traffic school. This is where my incessant disobedience of the law bites back. I guess I'm just a rebel, a rebel without a cause. Or maybe I'm just an idiot who needs surgery on his foot. I gotta get the lead out of this thing somehow. Either way, I've got four hours of tedium ahead of me and I need to prepare for his proper like right? Right. So I'm going to end the blog here. If you get the chance hit up Jerm's site and shout him a holla out, dog. Crackalackit jelly fish. (Yeah that's a candy. Really. . .)
Top o the Morning to ye, O'Malleys! Its Monday again, and after what I'd call a hectic weekend, I'm back with more thoughts and candy. Really just more candy, I've not had time to think at all this weekend. So, we did go check out the museum, the exhibit had some very interesting pieces in it, one of my favorite was the functioning survival kits, should the apocalypse befall us. There were two apocalypse survival cars, and a survival kit with all of the things you would need to live, as well as a survival item dispenser, much like a toy dispenser. For 200 yen, you could get a bandaid, or a bag of tea, or any of thousands of useful items. There was also some work involving video games where the "artist" took Soul Blade and had the characters repeat a sequence over and over again. The point was that the female always won, (in the battle of the sexes) and despite the fact that she always won, she still said submissive things to the male. There were a lot of good exhibits there, once again if you live here in the Huntsville area, I suggest you go check it out. Its seven for adults, six for students. Its worth the money. But something that's not worth the money is the Super Sale that came to town. The Super Sale, and I'll continue to capitalize it for no reason, charges admission. SO if something is there for a few dollars, you need to incorporate the six dollars you spent at the door. Though honestly, once you've spent the six dollars to get in, it really shouldn't matter. Even if it was a recent expenditure, you'll not get your moeny back, so it doesn't matter if you pay the six or not. At least not in economical terms. Then we played video games as Skyler's house, which seemed to me to even more hectic and weird. I saw a few people there, but it seemed like more people were there than were really there, since we were playing games and I didn't get the chance to absorb the fact that everyone who was there was in fact there. Also, I got to hang out with my baby brother, so this weekend was pretty good. Alright! So as far as deep thoughts, as you can see I really don't have em today, but I guess that's just the way it is. I gotta test today, so I'm off to make sure my skill is ready for testing. Alright. . .no no its not alright!! Keep it rizneal, peanutters.

Friday, October 24, 2003

Hey, licorice whips it Friday. And in lieu of this intriguing fact, I'll be sharing a song that I know by heart (somewhat) on the subject. You should listen to it, its awesome. The O'Jay's Livin' For The Weekend

Let me just sit down
And relax a minute
Let me tell you about ut

A ha, it`s Friday
Oh, ho, thank God it`s Friday
And I just got paid

Going across town
Gonna pick up my lady
Have a little bit of fun
Just ain`t no telling
Where I might end up

You might see me
On the East side
Ha, the West side
I`m even going cross the bridge
Cause I, cause I
Cause I hear they really
Get down over there

(Well, well, I)
Owe it to myself
(Well, well, I)
Gonna party
(Well, well, I)
Gonna party

(Well, well, I)
(Well, well, I)
I owe it to myself
(Well, well, I)
Oh, party, party

I`m just living, yeah
(Living for the weekend)
Woo hoo, said I`m-a
(Living for the weekend)
I said right now, I`m
(Living for the weekend)
I said this evening
(Living for the weekend)
For the next two days
(Living for the weekend)
Gonna have a real good time
(Living for the weekend)
Gonna have a real, real
Real good time
(Living for the weekend)
Gonna party hard, hard

Come on, y`all
Let`s go downtown
Come on, y`all
Let`s groove
Hey, hey

Monday to Thursday
I`m dead on my feet
Most of the time
Too tired to eat
When I try to read the paper
I fall fast asleep

But as soon as Friday rolls around
I lay all my weekly burdens down
I put on my glad rags
And paint the town

(Living for the weekend)
Friday night alive
(Living for the weekend)
Said, I`m living for the weekend
(Living for the weekend)
Don`t stop when I party down

Party hard, party down
Party hard, party down

Soon as on Monday
Rolls around again
I got to put all that
Partying to an end

Got to solve that same old grind
With those five day week
Sometimes, I get frustrated
Through the day, take off early
And a cut in pay

At the time, I don`t really care
Because I done took
All that I can bear

(Living for the weekend)
(Living for the weekend)
(Living for the weekend)
That`s when I party down

Party hard, party down.....

Ain't nothing but a party ya'll!! What's going down this weekend? You didn't know? We're hitting the museum so hard it's going to shake milk, ya know? Anyway, its just about time for me to go to work. Take it easy, tootsie rolls.
(I bought a shot glass today!! Tomorrow, liquor!!)

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Oh my god. I just lost a post that was at least three pages long. That just gives me a headache. What's going down, Cadbury's? I don't even feel like posting anymore. But I will continue on, because I have neglected my blog. It feels like its been awhile since I sent some blog lovin anyone's way, but basically I've been pretty busy. Seems like life is speeding along on this little subway train I call time. Here's something interesting for those of you here in Huntsville. The museum here rarely has good artwork, but there's an interesting exhibit here now. Here's two pictures of the work that's being exhibited, really much of it is anime and manga inspired. From what I've heard its really good, but then again, how many of us want to hear about art, when we can go and experience. Show the museum some love, maybe they'll bring in more modern art in the future if there's a good turn out. Also, I've put some time into a few video games as of late, and will invest a bit more time into it. I've really not spent much time, or as much time musing as I normally do. Lately it seems my mind has been full of a lot of different more concrete subjects, i.e. will I flunk this class, if so what will I do, how long can you carry a torch, all of that good stuff. But along those lines, it seems that many people think of abstract thought as being a waste of their time. Abstract thought is something that I think we all should engage in from time to time. I had a really strong argument for why typed up and of course I lost that post, but I'll make it again, because its just that strong. Abstract thought is far from a waste of time. By means of abstract thought we can think beyond merely what someone tells us, and further into what it really is. It is a means of deducing the why of a matter, and not just the what's, who's, where's, and when's. Thinking abstractly helps us to deduce why, for instance, obeying laws are beneficial. We know that murder is against the law, and by reasoning on the concrete plain, we know not to do it. Abstractly speaking, though, we know murder is wrong because as a human, we don't have the right to take another's life. This in itself is the essence behind the law, the principle that carries the law, and only through abstract thought can we understand that. As humans, we are the only animal who can think and reason on the abstract plain, and we should take advantage of that ability. If we reflect of the why's of a matter, it becomes more than just a fact, it becomes a reality. There is a distinct difference between the two. More succinctly, abstract reasoning allows us to discern what is true and believable, and what is false and clearly deceptive. The old saying is that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Really, if you don't examine what you stand for, reason upon it abstractly, you've already fallen for something. Unfortunately the trend today is to think concretely only. Most people if you asked them what time is, they'd tell you, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, eons and so forth, but if you asked them to define time in their own words, they wouldn't be able to. Because they haven't had the time to think deeply about the matter. All things we are told should be subjected to rigorous and thorough study, so as to be proven before they can be believed. At least that's my thought on the matter. Take it easy, pralines.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Hola, peanut butter cups! This day has been one of mixed feelings, unfortunately. Some good thoughts, some bad. Lets break it down shall we? Today as I was waking up, I begin to think about what really motivates someone? Why do we do what we do? For instance, my dad watches football, and all he's really concerned about is how well a team will perform against the Titans. Not that there's something wrong about that really. But it makes me wonder what exactly motivates him to feel that strongly about the Titans. Maybe its the fact that they have a quarterback he relates to, since the QB came from Alcorn State, a SWAC school (and HBCU). Why does anyone do what they do? What makes us tick? Well, more specifically, what makes us keep doing what we do? What gives us devotion to teams, to other people? Is it because of some desire to have future gratification or blessings (for lack of a better word) produced by what we attach our emotions and hopes on today? For instance, I want to go buy a video game. Its $14.99, outside of my set price range. Yet I know this game to be incredible, and I know the longer I let it sit, the more likely it will be bought and enjoyed by someone else. But I don't want to drop 15 bones on it. And haven't thus far. What makes me think of 15 dollars as being too high a price for a video game? Not too mention this same reasoning doesn't seem to apply to my driving because I spend. And as I've learned from my time in traffic court, tickets are far more than 15 dollars. Yet this hasn't seemed to stem my desire to speed. I'm not even really going anywhere, it could just be a trip to the local Burger King for some overly fatty sustenance, and I'll still speed like I'm a crack fiend trying to hurry over to the dealer to get my hit. My point is, I have different motives. I think since I don't think of both of the expenses as being necessary, I tend to speed because it doesn't always produce an expense. Everytime I speed without getting caught its just postive reinforcement. But everytime I spend money on a video game, my bank account definitely drops like like crazy. Either way, the truth of the matter is, finding the proper motivation has to be more important to than what exactly it is that motivates you. Anyway, my plans for tomorrow? Class, class and more class. Nothing more fun than that. If I can make it to the video store, I intend to rent a video or two. Anyway, holla back Nerds.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Okay, maybe not so much blah. Salutations, Twizzlers! I found my carmex, and now my lips are feeling G double O D. That's right, guh hood!! Okay, I'm really not that elated over finding my carmex, but now my lips won't get all ashy and crackly, and I won't look like I've been in solitaire for the last three years. Speaking of which, I've had this really weird dream that Skyler was in. That's right, SKYLER!! You were in my dream man. So what happened was we were in this really bad detective movie. But we didn't know it, it was like, we were two detectives, complete with the rolled up suit coat sleeves and the bad shades. But we were in my car. It was hilarious, really. There was a villain, which was E-Side funny, cause he had like this jheri-curl. For my uninitiated, a jheri curl is. . .well, let me find a picture. Anyway, so we're trying to run him down, and we're doing all of the cool detective poses. You know the cool back to back, but we didn't have guns, but we still looked cool. So I get a call on my eighties cellular phone, and its Danny, and he's all like, dude, I got this note. And I'm all like, what note, Dann-O? And he says, someone's kidnapped Ashley, and its signed the Claw. And I swear my jaw drops and I'm like, "We're on it!!" and I yell to Skyler who's trying to get some girl with big hair's number, "Lets book, baby brother!!" So then we run to my Toyota Camry, which somehow is now a convertible. And I slide across the hood, very Starsky and Hutch-esque, and we speed away, which is shocking cause you know we're in the Camry. But the coolest part was when I slide across the hood I make my own sound effect, and its like "SLIDE!!" and then Skyler slides across the trunk and he makes his own sound effect and he's like "SLIDE NUMERO DOS!!" I think that's the first time I laughed in my sleep, but I'm pretty sure I did, but anyway!! So then we zoom off and suddenly guys on bikes pull up behind me and start shooting at us, and so I toss Sky my magnum outta the dash, and he stands up in the car and starts shooting. This isn't even the half, cause we're on like a highway, the typical shoot out highway, of course. And he's just blasting away, and he's like, yelling at me to hold the car steady, and then I'm telling him to learn to shoot better, and all in all its just really a big gun fest, since they're also shoot at me. So then Skyler shoots out one of the biker dudes tires and he wrecks and comes flying ahead of me. So I swerve like mad and suddenly I'm flying off a cliff and Skyler's going with me and we're screaming at the top of our lungs and we hit the water, and then suddenly i'm in the police station and Tremaine's there cuffed, and my dad's screaming at both of us about the damage we've caused, and how we're off the force. So I'm all like yes sir, but Skyler's yelling about how we're the best cops he's ever seen, and how we'll catch the Claw and then we'll have his job. So then we end up busting into this warehouse, and Skyler goes all Matrix-y, and starts taking out these mexicans who are stashing cocaine into boxes of flavored drink mix, but not Kool-Aid. SO then I was in front of this huge Colombian dude, and he had berrettas and he started firing and just shot Skyler to bits and I yanked out my eighties cellular phone and called 911, and then I engaged in the most stylized fight scene I've ever imagined. We went at it for what seemed like hours and hit each other with tables, chairs, chains, spent cartridges from other guns, sticks, brooms, mops, weights, and pipes. And I was winning and right when i was going to push him to his doom, Skyler stopped me cause he only got hit in the shoulder, and he's like, no, don't sink to his level. And then suddenly music started playing and then we were sitting on a cop car and my dad gave us our badges back and Skyler said something funny, and I woke up to Hey Papi skipping in my Cd player. And thats when i looked around realized, hey this was just a dream. Man that was funny. Anyway, that's the extent of my dream, thanks for reading. Oh yeah. Well, have your cake and eat it to, ya M&M's. That'll just about do it for today.
Blah. That's the theme for today. Loads of Blah. And not a blah less. Howdy, circus peanuts. I feel like crap. Yay. Saturday was okay, played some golf, didn't do anything impressive, and I slept. That's the extent of my day. Right now, I'm ticked beyond belief because I'm tired and my dad's annoying me. That's not new, but I have no patience right now. I'm ready to just go somewhere and sleep. I think I will. Take it easy juice tarts.

Friday, October 17, 2003

What it be like, cotton candy? You know, its lonely without friends. You have to eat food by yourself and have conversations with yourself as well. I'm a darn good conversationalist for a guy without any friends. Actually, I have no idea where my friends were, but they didn't invite me, well, since I really don't have any. Or maybe it was because I had to work, they figured I wasn't really worth it, you know? Who knows? Anyway, I'm semi-joking about the friends, I'm pretty sure I just got left outta the mix, and I couldn't go hang out if I wanted to, since I had to work. Which, by the way, was okay. A lot of, you guessed it, heavy lifting!! There's nothing more fun than lifting heavy objects and moving them elsewhere. AND!!! I dropped a table on my toe!! YAY!! Hard wood at a good velocity impacted with a body part!! YAY!!! YAY!!! There could be nothing better than damaging my foot!! NOTHING!! I'm so excited for my foot. I didn't break it, I think. Too bad. And then I kept doing heavy lifting!! Isn't that incredible?! Yes yes it is, Javann. Sadly I'm back to talking to myself again. Man. . .this is more depressing than getting my check on Thursday. On another note, I'd like to say, I really don't like when people IM me and then ask me questions but they type three or four question marks, like, "My name's Homey!! What's your name???" Why is my name so imperative that it merits more than one question mark? There should be a law, against over use of punctuation marks, and the punishment would be all the punctuation buttons being removed from your keyboard. That'd be a good punishment. And people, people!! An elipse is . . . or three periods with spaces in between them, not ....... <---That's totally wrong!! TOTALLY!!! (Note the proper use of punctuation, seeing how I feel very strongly about that) Okay, sorry, I'm turning into a miserly old man. And I wonder why I don't have friends. Anyway, take it easy, hard caramels.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

I'm so past depressed its a shame. Sgwan on, lemonheads. Today's just not my day. I've never felt so angry/sad/depressed/hopeless/discouraged/idiotic/pointless. I just want to grab today by the throat and squeeze. Too bad we can't just kill a bad day, and forget about it. I should've stayed in bed today, really. I can't even share all my thoughts today, because the majority of them aren't even worth putting word to. Anyway, I got paid today. That was a total disappointment. I worked till 12 at night, lifting tables and whatever else, and all I got out of it didn't even make up for the tired I felt afterwards. And the government took a seventh of my check. A seventh!! I don't even like this government, but they take a freaking seventh outta my check?! What the heck do you do with a freaking seventh of my check?!? Make war? Fund all the crap that I don't even condone?!?! Pay the freaking cops that always ALWAYS harrass me, that look at me like a threat just because of the color of my skin. Next time a cop pulls me over, I'm going to slap his aviator shades off his face, and get my money's worth kicking his hide. I sponsor racial profiling, so I might as well fit the profile. I just really really really REALLY hate that I have to kick out that kinda money to be harrassed, to some people who personally, I wouldn't mind seeing starving in the street. I honestly swear that there is nothing to be said to me that would even remotely change my mind. I'm outta here, maybe I'll feel better after tonight. Be calm, red hots.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

How's it going, nougats? The day is officially old, and I've had a full day for sure. So full that I'm blogging twice. That's right, TWICE, in the same day. Ain't that something? Well, its definitely something. I had a great time in class today, learning and what not, and you know, sometimes when I learn, I can feel my brain telling me that this might be important. Today we discussed how people loved differently. Just like there's different types of personalities, there are people who behave differently towards those they love. There's six types, Eros, Storge, Ludus, Mania, Agape, and Pragma. Eros is passionate and intense, whether physical, spiritual, intellectual or emotional. Then there's Storge (pronounced Store gay) which is comfortable best friends kind of love. Ludus is the playful, manipullative style, which doesn't put much value on commitment. Mania, is emotional and an "unsettling style of love marked by emotional extremes." Agape is the selfless type of love, we all know that, and there's Pragma, which is a calculating, goal oriented type of love. So what type are you? I think I know a pragmatic type but I'll not call names. I think I'm a Mania type, since I'm so emotional, but I could be wrong. I think its interesting that there's been a classified type, or that someone's tried to label each person's behavior towards people they love. I really don't think I fit into a certain type but you can be different types. I just might have soe Eros and some Agape in me, but I'm pretty sure I'm more manic than anything else. So that's what I'm learning in Foundations of Human Communications. If you want to know more, here's a nice link to help ya out Such fun. Anyway, I'm going to jet, thanks for checking out the blog cinnamon swabs!!
Que Pasa, koolaid's? The day is still young, but already I am in need of a shower. That should be the quote for today. That should be a quote for the century. Either way it goes, that's a sad but true fact. So what's on the agenda for today, Ms. Fienes? Well, today, you'll be going to class, Javann. That'll be fun. Gotta shower first. I think ReG. . .that's right ReG wants to catch something to eat at 11:30. . .11:30!! I gotta shower and get outta here then!! But first, I'll indulge myself in some non-schizophrenic musings. And yes, Ms. Fienes lives in my head. She's my personal assistant. Anyway, I'd like to point out that me and Juice are getting our album on like never before, we've got songs flowing out like a pint of Guiness off the tap. And for all drinkers out there, you know what I'm talking about. That's right its taking some time, but not to fear. We'll be kicking those blobs of fat you call eardrums into shape real soon with tunes to make the body croon. And yeah, that made no sense. Anyway, I gotta go shake this grunge off, and get to smelling clean, so ya'll Dum-dums come back now ya hear?

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Okay, I'm bugging. What's the dealy, chocolate-covered ants? I'm seriously tripping. Well, its not like the first time, but its pretty darn close. What am I talking about? Sometimes I swear, I don't even know the answer to that question. But that's just how things roll for me today. Anyway, its the grand ole day of Tuesday, and I was supposed to go out to Jerm's tonight and get some loops, but it just hit me. I gotta work tonight, till ten supposedly. And if there's one thing I've learned, if I go to work wanting to get off early and do something cool, it won't happen. You have to have absolutely nothing planned to get off work early. Its called the theory of stupidity during the job. Seems like I can't work hard enough when I got something to do after work. And when I don't, tables are lighter, the stuff I move feels like ten pounds, and chairs are all in the right room. If you can't guess, work ain't my cup o tea. Of course, I'm not fond of tea, so maybe work is my cup of tea, since I don't like tea. Right. I'm getting dumber by the minute. Anyway, I think I'll blame today's entry on lack of sleep, and I promise to bring some intelligence to my next entries. Till then spit some intelligence of your own this. I'm outta here, Laters, Now And Laters, to be exact.