Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I'm sorry like Atari/the cousin to Coleco/Chico de Barge he large/and got a lac up in the garage/a few parts here and there I declare hard/my lawd/one at Clark one at Spellman/both know each other they cool you can tell when/they walk up in a party women jump for joy/but all the while gentlemen scheming they gone jump the boy

So here's something you might not know about FedEx. Its a company. And as a company, its all about bottom line. Why am I even talking about bottom lines, companies, corporations and such? Because I popped a fan belt today.

But that's not it. I'm getting a new truck. I can barely contain my excitement. I'm serious. When they told me, it was everything I could do not to jump up and down and celebrate. And believe me, I wanted to. I wanted to run through the halls of my uh. . .whoa. Where'd that come from?

Maybe you don't understand where I'm coming from. My truck is old. Quite possibly older than me, though I doubt that. Its one of the first trucks in the Fedex Fleet. Well. . .the fleet here in Huntsville. Its seen fire, its seen rain. For instance, today, it started shooting coolant out of the dash (rain) and it overheated, leaving me stranded (fire). But that's not the first time this type of thing has happened to me. Me and my fedex truck have been on the side of the road many a time, and I ask you, can you deliver the world on time by foot. The answer, of course, is no. And don't try to be foolish and tell me yes, because that folly shalt no longer be invited into this forum upon which we stand. . .verily.

Also, I'm slightly irritated when people talk to me only to get a favor from me. That's not cool. Don't be that person.

Look at that! She's doing a horrible job washing that car!

17 comments:

Jonathan said...

Hey, Javann. How you doing buddy? Great, great. Hey listen man, I need you to bring me a coffee. Thanks boy-o.

Javann said...

I hope you have some freak accident where you lose your eyelids, and then while you're looking for your pain medication, you mistakenly take a bottle of sleeping pills, which then make you sleepy, but then how will you sleep, for you can't, because you'll have no eyelids.

Jonathan said...

You've reminded me of a card game that Jon Houser and I created in which there was a certain kind of card you could get that removed the eyelids from one of your field units thus making them immune to attacks from ninjas.

That was an awesome game. I think we called it, Gilgamesh: The Game.

Javann said...

I remember that game. It sucked.

Jonathan said...

You never played it, whore.

Anonymous said...

hey javann, whats going on in huntsville this weekend?

Javann said...

Not much that I know of. I'm probably going to a friend's house to watch a movie, some football going down on Saturday, and pool on Sundays. Fun for everyone right?

Anonymous said...

Fun for you all. I have a full weekend planned. But have fun, and if that means you're playin football, don't over do it. You remember what happened last time.

Anonymous said...

Well, everyone must have had a better weekend than I did. Cause here I sit writing this crap. And you all must be out with friends going to movies and out to eat, it is Sunday after all, thanks for the invite. Then again you could be in the bed cause you have to work tomorrow. And then that would make me the crazy one. Oh wait, I don't work on Mondays. Oh wow I feel better already.

Javann said...

And the flat character that was A gets ever more round. Sorry that you had to sit home, but next time feel free to come hang out with the rest of us. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Alright, I'll come hang sometime.

Jonathan said...

You gonna where a bag over your head?

Jonathan said...

Oops I mean "wear"... whew, glad I caught that. Coulda been bad.

Anonymous said...

Nope, no bag. That's the beauty of being anonymous. You dont have to were a bag.

Anonymous said...

Look, your misspellings are rubbin off here. I mean, "wear" a bag.

Javann said...

A makes a valid point. He/she doesn't have to worry about not being known, because he/she is known. Though for the record, I think he/she is really a she. The pattern of writing seems very feminine. Unless he/she is a guy. In which case, dude, you should write more like a guy.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the whole point of being anonymous cover writing patterns? I mean, if I were a guy wanting to through you off, then writing with a feminine flare might work. But in this case it looks like you know your writing patterns fairly well.