Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Javann's top ten most used phrases:

10) "Wow."
09) "Mother of oatmeal!"
08) "What the family market?"
07) "You know I am not happy about this."
06) "Beastly!"
05) "You're crazy! I like you, but you're, you're crazy!"
04) "Eew."
03) "I don't even know why I said that."
02) "I hope just fifty percent, but who knows?"
01) "Oh, just stop."

Two words that describe me well:
Rottweiler puppy.

What are yours?

Monday, December 04, 2006

When was the last time you were drunk with power? Don't feel bad. I'm pretty sure its been a while for me too. That's the problem with life. Power is simultaneously inhuman and craved. If you are one of the few who have power, congratulations. Of course, that congratulations from me, i.e. the powerless, is pointless. Who needs to patted on the back by somone lesser than he? Or I guess I should include she. Why not be politically correct in a world of political incorrectness? Thankfully, those with power really only have it because they can manipulate masses of people. The funny thing about that power, it that it really isn't power. It's just an illusion. The illusion of control that is. And control is always an illusion. We have no control over anything. Do you really think that you can control two tons of metal traveling at 70 miles per hour? Go outside, and try, just try to pick up your car. Go ahead, I'll wait. There's a good chance that none of you could do it. You know why? Lack of power. You don't have the power to control your car. Sure you can get in, start it up and then take off, but you really don't have any control over it. All you can do is manipulate the forces at work on it, and even then, its an extremely crude form of manipulation. All it takes is a phone ring, a loss of the present and you and that ton of car will soon be hurtling (wait for it) out of control down the highway to certain injury or death. Why you ask? Because control, my dear friends, is an illusion.

Not a new concept.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Today's word:

Annoying. Be sure to scream really loud whenever someone says this word.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I feel as if I should be kicking down a door or something

I'm back! And might I add, with a vengeance. Its been a long long time since I even felt like blogging. I gotta admit, for a while there it was touch and go. I'd want to sit down and pour out my musings on these hallowed pages, only to change my mind halfway through and just close the window and walk away. There's nothing more shameful than the half thought.

So what's been happening? Everything and nothing. I think the very reason I am unable to blog is that as I get older, I realize the very meaninglessness (that's not even a word) of my blog, nay of my life. I think its fair to say that what happens to me is nothing, yet to me, it apparently is everything. A sad broken shell of a man lay before us. I'd like to think that if you're still checking here that you care, but leave us not be too hasty in that assumption. I'd much rather believe that I'm relatively entertaining, especially when one is bored. That having been said, I say, let the festivities begin!

Down here. Yeah, I really don't know what that whole festivities thing is. I think its been so long since I've blogged, I feel as if I should be engaging in some triumphant return actions. Trumpets, elephants, captives from my conquests, all in a procession for my loyal subjects to view. While of course cheering their king. Unfortunately, you can't go crazy on a free blog. Mainly because, free means that its already completely architectured, and secondly, I don't even have the webspace to begin announcing my incredible return. This is sadly lacking.

Here's an interesting thought to conclude on. I'm fond of saying that I am one huge contradiction. Quite fond of it, and I like finding contradictions within myself. Here's a huge one. I'm pretty insecure, but I've got incredible gobs of self esteem. Gobs. You know tons, massive amounts of. . .look it up Crazy right? Of course it is.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I was at Save-A-Lot and some kid tried to sell me a $2.00 cup of Kool-Aid. First of all, I could take two dollars and go buy six packs of Kool-Aid, and drink myself silly. Secondly, you're outside of Save-A-Lot. Do you really think people there want to spend two dollars on Kool-Aid. Being an entrepeneur is cool, but don't be stupid.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 66%
Stability |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Orderliness |||||| 30%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||| 16%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||| 30%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 43%
Materialism || 10%
Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 50%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 70%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70%
Wealth |||||||||||| 43%
Dependency |||| 16%
Change averse |||||||||||| 50%
Cautiousness |||| 16%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 43%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 50%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Why? I'd say its definitely more a why not than a why.

No one is suprised by the results I think.

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.
Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

And even more!

Main Type
Overall Self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 46%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||| 65%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 42%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||| 51%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||| 48%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 68%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||||| 84%
Your main type is 9
Your variant is sexual
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Hmm. . .I'm not much of a perfectionist. I gotta admit, that's pretty accurate, even if nothing else is.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I feel like I have a lot to say. Its kind of funny, I'll be out delivering packages, formulating blog entries that kind of die somewhere between where I am and the computer. But here's a quick overview of some stuff I wanted to say, pretty much how I thought it.

I hate people who drive slowly. Also, people who say you shouldn't say "hate" because its a strong word. I hate them too. Literally.

When are you funny and when are you just annoying? There's a fine line between the two. I think truly funny people know where that line is. Of course, there's people who find it funny to be annoying. Sasha Baron Cohen and Andy Kaufmann come to mind in that area. That type of funny is harder to do though.

Don't try hard to fit in. Its annoying and definitely not funny.

I don't like Fudgems. He leaves chocolate sauce on stuff. How could you like that?

You know what, I hate Fudgems. There I said it.

Sometimes, I get angry about things that make no sense. I won't go into detail, because its kind of embarrassing that I think those things.

When I think of myself getting married, I honestly feel a little sick in the stomach. I'm sure my future bride, if she knew she were my future bride, would feel the same way. Does that mean I have problems? Probably. At least I'm willing to admit it. Not that that makes a difference. Admitting it isn't a battle.

Crazy is as crazy does. I think.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

So apparently, I've discovered YouTube. Which to this day, is still my favorite place to find music videos that I like. One in particular would be what I still to this day consider the precursor to the Gorillaz videos and theme. That of course would be the entire story told through out the Daft Punk videos. Its a cool little anime application to the Daft Punk band, in which they. . .well, I'll not ruin it. As long as I can find it on You tube that is. So here are the videos, in the the order they should run in from top to bottom. Thanks to Velt for letting me rip this CD instead of buying it. That's right, RIAA, I ripped a CD that I didn't pay for. I'd say come get me, but well, I bought it later, so. . .basically that rip ended up in you making a sale. I mean jeez what's next, I won't be able to buy a used CD?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Ain't that just crazy/ain't that just funny/ain't that something?

If I had to burn a CD that I had to listen to for the next thousand years, what would I put on it? Lets pretend it'll take at least thirty songs. In the order that I'd want to hear them, here are thirty songs that I'd want to listen to over and over and over again. Within reason.

Format: Title - Artist
1) Hot N Cold - Basement Jaxx (from Kish Kash. Awesome album, favorite song from it)
2) Welcome To THe Jungle - Guns N Roses.
3) SpottieOttieDopalicious - Outkast (spoken word meets funk inspired Southern horn hooks and hi-hat cymbal. Brilliant)
4) LadyFlash - The Go! Team (yeah, I like em. Search for this video on YouTube)
5) The Mask - DangerDoom
6) We Live in Brooklyn, Baby - Roy Ayers (I live in Huntsville, but I still sing this song repeatedly. Roy Ayers is the man. The man, who coincidentally did a lot of songs for blaxploitation movies in the seventies. Proving that everything about those movies weren't entirely bad)
7) Faithful - Common (Asks an interesting question, if we can't be faithful to our significant others, what can we be faithful to?)
8) Novocaine for the Soul - the Eels (almost depressingly introspective)
9) Just A Thought - Gnarles Barkley (reminds me of Manic Depression by Jimi Hendrix. Listen to the songs back to back. Very similar styles and subject matter)
10) Metric - Ellen Allien with Apparat (hard bassline, violins and cello, a brilliantly simple drum pattern, some synth thrown in for good measure and we have a song)
11) The Big Jump - the Chemical Brothers
12) Shimmer - Fuel (Special place in my heart for this song, sorry)
13) Margarita - Sleepy Brown ft. Pharell (its just fun!)
14) Everlong - Foo Fighters (I didn't like rock before this song. Now I love it)
15) Breed - Nirvana (since we're on a bit of a rock kick)
16) Driving South - Stone Roses (its a really cool opening riff)
17) These Halcyon Days - The Tea Party
18) Kiss - Prince
19) Earthquake Weather - Beck
20) Only You - Portishead (first heard this while watching the Portishead DVD. It totally sold me on this song)
21) Doing it to Death - James Brown
22) What Your Soul Sings - Massive Attack
23) The Distance - Cake (the only Cake song I like. And its right on the verge of being with the rest of the Cake songs)
24) We Need A Resolution - Aaliyah ft. Timbaland (She had a sweet voice, and Timbaland knows better than any other producer how to capitalize on that)
25) Plug in Baby - Muse (still my favorite Muse song)
26) Ride Captain Ride - Blues Image (come on it starts with a Wurli piano, a reverse cymbal and the sounds of the ocean with seagulls. How can you not like this song?)
27) Use Me - Bill Withers
28) Province - TV on the Radio
29) Public Service Announcement - the Bravery (I've hooked at least one person on them. My work here is done)
30) My Sacrifice - Creed (you gotta end big. and no one does big better than Creed. That band understood how to take a song and just make it huge. I still remember the video of them playing this in a sinking boat. Or maybe that was Higher. . .)

So there you go. Go out and download those. Then get deserted on an island with a limitless supply of batteries and a really good CD player. Oh and food and water.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

You know what's crazy? You are. You're what's crazy.

Have you seen this video? Probably not. Because MTV doesn't play this type of stuff. And neither does VH1. What else is there? BET you say? Hahahaha. . .no. Sure it may be rap, but BET hasn't been black since the eighties. Lets be real. BET is a bigger sellout than even MTV. Its sad. That having been said, I present to you. . . The Mask.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

I went to see World Trade Center. I cried. Five times, according to Tremaine. It wasn't a bawling breakdown type of crying, but it was more a manly single tear trace down the cheek. People experiencing the pain of losing someone makes me cry. I think it because that is the greatest pain that we as humans have to endure. There is no Advil for grieving widows and new orphans. No amount of aspirin or ibuprofen or any medicine can ease the pain of death. Even the hard stuff that takes the "edge off" can't remove that pain. Eventually, your high runs out, you slam down to earth, and you realize that you still hurt. And while you were running up the acid rainbow to early death, you still had that pain inside of you. All the time. That's the kind of pain that makes you wish that it hadn't been you that survived. It eats away at who you are, and makes you question the very fabric of life itself. So when I see it, especially when I imagine what it must have been like for these very real characters, my tears fill with water, my airway constricts, and I experience their pain and tragedy in one instance, then release it down my cheek into my hand and into the air.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I'm just tired. I just want to sleep.

I'm so tired right now I don't think I'm going to make it through my day. I know that's pretty bad, but right now I just want to fall asleep. And I really don't care what it is that I'm doing when I do that falling asleep thing. I think the real problem here is the lack of sleep at night, compounded with having to sit through a thirty five minute lecture about the wonderful world of insurance sales. There's a reason why insurance salesmen (well salespeople) are such blood sucking leeches. If this was any indication today, they are what they are because they get paid on commission only. Here's a nice little tidbit, everytime you re up on your insurance, they get a sweet cut of the premiums. Apparently there's a 65% hit for the first year and then about 9 - 6.5% every year after that. How sweet is that? Of course, on a commissions only salary, that's kind of a necessary evil. Either way, the next time that friendly insurance agent of yours calls to make sure that you're still going in strong on your policy, be sure to remember whatever he says you need will be adding a good deal of money to his pocket. And here I thought they really cared about me as a person. Ha! I should've known better.

My ever going quest to find a job continues, as I throw my resume to the winds, I can't help but think, if it were any lighter, it'd get blown off to sea. At least that's my thoughts on it. But what do I know? According to my resume, not much.

Ha ha! College drop out having remorse!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Spirited debate! I love it!

So I'm a bit conceited. I'm okay with that. And in line with that conceitedness, I made a test. This test, is uh. . .about me. That's right. So take it and find out what a great friend you are. Or should be.

Create your own friendquiz here

My ego can't take too many more blows.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Itzjerm said...
you've sold your soul to the airwave devil javann...

is your cd player broke? Or is it the fedex truck requires you listen to radio?

The fact that you have fallen into musical depravity does not mean that you can justify this by a meager expression of word to correct.

True there have been times where pop was ok, I am a fan of quiet a bit that ended up on the radio in the 80's... in fact it was a rule then that having more than one song popular was against the rules. There may be the song here or there that is created for the main stream listener today which is listenable (i'll admit to liking some of Madonnas later stuff)... but in general pop music of the radio is basically an equation... an equation which anyone be it Paris Hilton or any other person can plug into... I'll pass... i'll find the oldies and flashback stations.. but in general pop is like country music.. to generic for my taste.

Oh come down off your high horse and stop judging people. The plug in theory is still to this day complete and utter crap. Paris Hilton did not sit down with her guitar and backing band and create music. She provided the voice and the front for Scott Storch (most notably) and for a host of other producers and yes, musicians. If you could carry a tune, then you too could be a pop SINGER. This is where your theory is ultimately flawed. I'll admit the ability to sing doesn't make you a musician. But give credit to the men and women who take mere singers and icons and transform the talentless voids they call celebrity into instantly recognizable hit machines. The same has held true since the early nineties with the exception of a few men and women who produced and sang their own brand of pop. We call these people singer/songwriters, such as Fiona Apple, Jewel, and until recently Nelly Furtado. Each of these MUSICIANS are utterly responsible for the crap they produce or the gold they spin from the hay that is the musical instrument.

I think the real reason everyone has a problem with Paris Hilton is simply because they percieve her as a musician. She is an average singer, who has the money and the affluence to have a group of musicians sit down and craft songs for her. She may gain some writing credit, because she does have input, but lets be honest. She has maybe 20% input. She is merely a front for producers and musicians. That having been said, there are millions of people who believe they are more talented than she, and also more creative. "Paris Hilton has a CD? Dude, anyone can make a CD!" No, you jealous sniveling vultures, not just anyone can PRODUCE a CD. It takes actually skill and creativity to be a producer. Can anyone sing on a CD? Believe it or not, no. Otherwise you crying children who can't carry tunes would all be inking record deals. And lets face it, unless you're Reuben Studdard (who?) you probably are going to need to be in the minority of Americans who can a) sing and b) look incredibly good in few if any clothes.

So lets wrap this up. To be a pop singer, you must carry a tune. To create pop music, to be a producer, you do need creativity, talent, and also be able to play an instrument. So stop it with indie fan boy whining already, posers.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Guilty as charged.

Okay, I'll admit it. I listen to pop. I'm not exactly proud of this. But let me at least defend myself.

I love music. I love music that is music. I think music is an art form. No scratch that, I know music is an art form. And like any art, there is good and bad music. Also like any art form, good and bad is subjective. There is popular art, classical, contemporary, and yes even alternative methods and forms of art. Music is no exception. However, many people, in some misguided struggle against the Man, have completely written off pop music. These people are the ones who say stuff like, "I don't listen to my radio anymore." They hang out at coffee shoppes (yes shoppes not shops) and their intelligence is more often than not expressed with each word. These people hate music. They don't appreciate music. They appreciate art.

And here's where we draw a fine line between music and art. You see, music as an art form is subject to critics. However, just as some critically acclaimed pieces of art can be completely unenjoyable, so can the opposite be true. Some pieces of art transcend time because they're enjoyable. You can't find a critic alive who would say Kung Pow: Enter the Fist was a legitimately good movie. But sit down and watch it. Its hilarious. Even if its not your cup of tea, I'm sure if you're honest with yourself, you can think of at least two or three movies that aren't Oscar nominated but are incredibly enjoyable. Guilty pleasures right?

But now, we come to music, and in our effort to fight the powers that be, we instantly write off pop music, simply for striving to be popular, i.e. enjoyable. Sure, pop music is way too popular at times, and I'll admit, I don't want to hear it 24/7. Still, that doesn't negate that its enjoyable, and therefore of some value, however so little you might give that. I find it ironic that many of the bands who truly create art become thoroughly arrogant towards pop singers (no, I want call them artists) because instead of trying to constantly be the next big thing, they just do what they know works consistently. The record sales may not tell the full artistic story, but lets be honest, no one remembers the best independent releases of ten years ago. No one important that is. Ask me about a pop song of ten years ago. I remember Return of the Mack, The Hotstepper, Victory, No Scrubs by TLC and at least ten other songs. Is that wrong? No.

And when I wake up in the morning, and hear Jessica Simpson, or Christina Aguilera, or even the devil himself, Britney Spears (who fortunately has apparently revoked music to return to her southern roots of beer and pregnancy) I gotta admit, they do some catchy music. Its fun. Its light. I'm depressed enough in the morning, I don't need even more depression in the form of the music I'm using to kill the silence.

What am I saying? That all non-pop music is depressing? No. And I'm not going to say that all pop music is upbeat. I'm just saying that every form of music is appreciably good. And if you don't think that record company's aren't aware of the next big sound, then you haven't really been listening to the radio have you? What happens when the indie sound you treasure so much becomes main stream? Are you going to throw it away for the next big thing because more people than you know about it? I doubt it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to The GO! Team.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Somehow its plain to see/that the pain in me/is what its meant to be/and if/you don't or can't believe/I can't and don't believe

Heavy iPod/CD-player-in-my-car rotation:
TV On The Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain
Mylo - Destroy All Rock And Roll
Asobi Seksu - Citrus (I gotta be honest though, I keep hoping if I listen to it enough, I'll like it, but so far, that's not even begun to happen. I think shoegazer rock is lost on me. Which kind of saddens me, since I know a guy who has a band who plays exactly that.)
Squarepusher - Music is Rotten One Note
Ellen Allien and Apparat - Ochestra of Bubbles
LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem

Friday, August 04, 2006

Its that Hansel. He's just so hot right now!

Its amazing how quickly something great can fall apart. I suppose you can only look back at what was, and remember it. Otherwise, what would be left?

If there were a way to take memories, and make them known to the entire world, to make everyone feel, see, and touch everything you remember about a particular event, what would you want everyone to see? What would be your defining moment? Think about it. As humans we are obssessed almost with capturing the "moment". Our cell phones have digital cameras in them, so we can whip them out and take pictures and then if we want, send them to other people. Imagine if you could immerse anyone you wanted to into your memories? I can't really think of a memory that defines me, maybe a set of events, but even then I can only narrow down my life into twenty major moments. And I gotta admit, those moments? Depressing. Like when I got suspended from school, and had to walk back home with my parents angry with me. Or when my house burned down. Or any of the times I got detention in school. My first car accident. My first day in public school. The kid who followed me home and hit me repeatedly with a math book. The kids who used to pick on me in school.

In relation to that, you know, its funny. When you're a grown man, and you see these same people who used to torment you, for a second, you revert back to the little boy you were. You forget who you are. But then you remember, I'm not afraid anymore. Then you get angry. Because you remember what it was like to be afraid, to feel helpless, and now, now you know that you're far from helpless, and that you haven't a reason to fear anyone anymore. Its an interesting feeling. And a good memory to have. Maybe even a defining one.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Diamonds are forever/They're all I need to please me/They can't stilmulate and tease me/they won't leave in the night/I've no fear that they might/desert me

So its been awhile. Mainly because I haven't felt like writing. Mainly because I've been tired and half sleep, or just not feeling like sitting down and typing anything. So if you've been faithfully checking the site for the last two or three weeks, thanks, just know that I sit around doing this for you. Its not even all that therapeutic for me to type on this site, but I know out there, somewhere, someone reads my site. And hopefully, that someone has read this.

I had a thought or whatever, but well, I don't have a thought anymore. If I remember it, I'll be all over it.

Man. . .what's up with you?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

In the summertime when the weather is fine/You can stretch right up and touch the sky/When the weather's fine/You got women, you got women on your mind/Have a drink, have a drive/Go out and see what you can find

ColorQuiz.comJavann took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Demands that ideas and emotions shall merge and bl..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Hmmm. . .I don't know if I want to admit to that. Some of thats extremely true. I guess the key is to ask people who know me, (that includes you, Mom) to tell me if they think that's true.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Stuff you should know. Or not.

World cup finals:
Italy vs. France
(Italy is 13-5-3 all time versus France)
I might have that stat wrong. But I'm pretty sure about the thirteen. Saw it on World Cup Live.

Some people think love doesn't exist. I don't agree with those people. Those people are disillusioned cynics. Does it mean I don't like them? No, and I aim that last sentence at one person in particular. He knows who he is. I like him. I just don't agree with him. Is there anything wrong with being a disillusioned cynic? I don't think so. Let the masses bathe themselves

Basking in someone else's glow is tedious.

I still think the man who invented capris should be shot. Hideous.

Exfoliating is not feminine. Look at the way that word's spelled. Exfoliating. Its similar to exterminating. And we'll all agree that exterminating is very masculine. Maybe men should call it exterminating. Then we could admit we do it from time to time.

I hate shaving my face. I hate growing a beard. I wish there were some compromise that didn't involve a certain depilatory creme, which oddly enough is named after the martial nobility of the South Indian state Kerala.

That's right. I lost my nerve. Okay. It was a lapse. Or two. Or even three. The point is, I'm still Javann, and I know it'll probably happen again. Want to know what I'm talking about? Ask me. I'll probably tell you.

Heh. . .martial nobility.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes our presentation. Please be sure to remove all personal items and effects from the overhead bins. Otherwise, we will resale it for half the original value, quite simply because its pure profit for us. Thank you for flying Deep Thought Airlines.

Monday, June 26, 2006

What follows next are a series of questions. Just relax and answer them as simply as you can. Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Answer as quickly as you can.


1. FIRST NAME: Javann
2. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? i'm named after Javan in the bible. I know how cool is that.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Hmmm. . .a few months ago.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I like a good roast beef. There's nothing better.

6. KIDS? Of course not.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Are you kidding me? I'm the best friend ever!

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? That's ridiculous. Of course I do.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Way too much for some people's taste

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? unfortunately. I got to get those things taken out.


12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Bunches of oats
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, I never do. I don't even unbutton my shirts.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I think I am weak. In fact, I know I am weak. Will I ever be strong? Not in every discipline in life. Which is okay with me.

16. SHOE SIZE? 15

17. RED OR PINK? Pink

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am forgetful Sometimes to a complete and total fault.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Who don't I miss the most?

20 WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? blue jeans, no shoes. Wild child.


23. LAST THING YOU ATE? Texas double whopper
24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the sounds of a fight night round three.


26. PETS? None



30. FAVORITE DRINK? Gatorade. I can't get enough of that stuff. Its amazing.
31. FAVORITE SPORT? Football. Though basketball's a pretty close second, followed by soccer.
32. EYE COLOR: brown

33. HAT SIZE? Like an eight

35. FAVORITE FOOD? Chicken and watermelon. If you don't like chicken and watermelon, something's wrong with you

36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Scary movies with sad endings are the best
37. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES? XMen III. I think that was the last one.

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer. Long days, languid nights, shorts, barbecue, flip flops, summer noises, cool breezes, and all the free food you can eat.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? Either/or
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? I'm a big ice cream fan. If done right that is.

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? I always read For Whom The Bell Tolls in the summer time. Its a good summer romance.

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Some advertisement for another mouse.
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? La Femme Nikita. Second season, disc three. That's some solid television.

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Guitar, laughter
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. Twice the creativity, twice the scandal

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? california I guess.

49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? making friends I guess? Interpersonal communications? Sure we'll say that.

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? July 7, 1982 Huntsville AL

Last one. Where did the opening quote come from?

Monday, June 19, 2006

Take the money and run

Tired. Very very tired. And concerned that death can result from drinking seven red bulls in a two hour span. Or at least extreme projective vomiting.

And the rage with which he smote them was a mighty rage, a rage that only those who had been smote could feel

Friday, June 09, 2006

I gotta get free/I gotta get free/right into the sun

My car's back! Rejoice!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

It been a while/since I heard this song/and its been awhile/but its not been too long

So I've not posted in a few weeks. If I neglect my blog, its generally because I don't feel like updating it. Not because I've got no thoughts. Its a new month, and its actually pretty nice outside, but that's neither here nor there. What is here and there is the fact that I've got me proper thoughts back in me head right?

So here's what I was thinking over the past few days:

At work a guy comes up to me and tells me he saw me at the mall (parkway place) working one Saturday. His kids are with him, and they say, "Wow Daddy, he's huge, you know him?" You know how little kids can be, right? So he tells them, "Aww, he's just a huge teddy bear." Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. A huge teddy bear? Do you know how much I hate being called a teddy bear? If I were a violent man, we'd have been tussling right there, but I just kinda laughed, albeit awkwardly, and said yeah, I guess I am. Seriously though, who tells someone to their face that they're just a teddy bear? Not to mention I'm not a teddy bear. I'm mean. I hate children. And kittens. Anything I'm not supposed to hate really. Like Della Reese. Hate her.Remember that show Touched By An Angel? Hated it. Besides, even if I were a teddy bear, is it really that obvious? So obvious you present it to your kids as fact, and then tell me so to my face? That's just depressing.

The candiru. Its a depressing little fish with a huge reputation. Its the main reason for never swimming in the Amazon. Its also a pretty convincing argument for creation. There's no way something would evolve that could do that.

Yes, yes, yes, I am currently a bit dark. I work in the sun people. Eventually, all that exposure was bound to turn my skin darker. Did you think because I'm black, that I couldn't possibly get any darker? For all you kids out there wanting tans, I know its not fair, but it took over four hundred years for this skin color thing to be even considered an advantage. I think that balances things out.

Katherine is a type A personality. Interestingly enough, no one else took the quiz. Why is that interesting? No reason really, I just wanted to point out that you people are total losers. Maybe not total losers. Wouldn't want to scare off the few remaining consumers eh? Except for Kat. Thanks for taking my quiz.

C E flat A flat G A E G

That's been on my mind too.

Colt, you moved? Where? More importantly, who's going to help me get a discount on a bass guitar now? Who? Seriously. Who can help me get a discount on a bass guitar? Or at least a get a bass at a fair price.

I don't want to get caught with me pants down on the price. -Turkish

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I think you're crazy/I think you're crazy/I think you're crazy/like me

I'm actually awake before I have to go to work. Though honestly, I'm going in two hours later than normal. Because this is supposed to be my day off. That's right. This. My day off. Is a day where. . .

But enough of that. What am I currently trying to do? Invent my own character set. But why? No reason. I've got nothing better to do. Actually, I guess technically, I do, but well, I tend to waste time on things that honestly, aren't even worth wasting time on. Yeah, that's right. Time wasting is what I do. Speaking of that, here's a fun time wasting quiz.

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Thursday, May 25, 2006

My Favorite Things
1) Warm woolen mittens
2) Bright copper kettles
3) Brown paper packages tied up with string

The laborers are complaining again. Last time, we complained about the lack of a fan, this time, we complain because we work in hot conditions for a solid hour with no water.

No water? We're not even allowed to go take a water break. If you ask a manager for water, you might get told to hurry up so you can finish the sort and then you can drink water till you're blue in the face.

We're angry. I'll probably get sued for posting this and slandering the company name, or some such nonsense. I'm delirious from lack of hydration. I don't know what I'm saying.

I'd be more enraged if it didn't pay so well

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I'm a jerk some of the time, an idiot most of the time, and exactly who I should be none of the time.

My car is still in the shop, and I'm betting its got another week of being fixed, which is fine by me. I'm still rocking the convert, as my sister and I like to call it, and let me say, I'm gonna be kind of sad to see it go. But not that sad. I can't wait to get me gas guzzling hard to control accident mobile back and burn a few tires off.

You Are Duck

Exotic and unusual, you are a bit of a rare bird - literally.
You're known for being soft and succulent, though at times you can be a bit greasy.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Lord I feel like its raining all over the world/Raining, raining, raining raining raining/all over the world

Rain is only depressing if your not outside in it. If I'm inside and its raining, I tend to feel a little down, and like I need to go to sleep. But when I'm outside, and I'm delivering and going places, or even when I was a crossing guard and it would be storming outside while I directed traffic, I always enjoyed it. I had a rain coat, and I wasn't getting soaked inside out, so it was fun.

Think about it. The famous Gene Kelly song and dance routine from Singing in the Rain, ever do that in the rain? That's fun! Of course, I'm sure that if anyone asked Gene about having to shoot that while being drenched with water on a sound stage in Southern California, he'd probably tell you that was one of the worse days of his acting career. No one wants to be cold and soaking wet for three to four hours a day. Its not exactly what I'd call a good time. But for that thirty minutes when things get a little torrential, and I'm dashing in and out of my truck making deliveries, for that thirty minutes, I guess I kinda feel like a kid again. Albeit a big kid, but still a kid. And that's worth a little pneumonia in my book.

You have a book?

Monday, May 01, 2006


That's right boys and girls. Javann's long and sordid love affair with insurance agents and SR-13's has struck again. I had another accident. Good news, bad news. Good news, it wasn't my fault. Bad news, it wasn't my fault. Its frustrating because I know I could've done a much better job destroying my own car, but fortunately, a good sized ford Expedition went medieval on my car. Am I hurt? I was going to say only my feelings, but after so many accidents, even those go numb.

How do I keep surviving these things? More importantly how do I keep getting into them? If I have some sort of special car-crash-survival-skill set that I don't know about, I'd gladly trade it for the special don't-crash-the-car-skill set that surely must exist. Its getting to the point that as soon as I touch a car, its going to experience a sharp increase in insurance premiums, and steeper dive in overall value.

I remember asking exactly who hates me so much that I've had six more accidents than the normal person. This at a time when I was trying so hard to not have an accident, at least before I turn 25. I drive for a living, and I almost log over six hundred miles a week in the FedEx truck alone, yet, I've not managed to learn how to safely navigate our fine highway system here in Alabama.

I am the master of disaster.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

No clue why I'm posting this as to no one who reads this blog saw this, will know anything about it, or likely care, but that's just how against the grain I am, folks.

Steve and I played a show today. It went very well, and to our surprise it was very well received. I mean really, usually people find as much stuff as they can to dislike about what we play. I have no idea why. But I guess people were just feeling particularly cheery today. Here's our little set list, along with quick descriptions which I'm sure you all will be extremely interested in.

1. Shades of Green. It's a Irish song by Phil Keaggy and it's extremely good. I played drums, Steve played guitar.

2. The Professor. Steve played this by himself on guitar and sang. It's a Damien Rice cover (one of his better songs, easily). I found it quite fun to walk away and eat cake after the first song.

3. Maliguainia. I had to come back though for this one. It's a Spanish song that anyone would know if they heard. Steve and I got our Latino while he was all playing the main bit and I was all screwing around the harmonic minor scale. It was instrumental, we messed up once, and it was just simply the worst on the set.

4. The Folk Jam. Alright, Steve got heavily into folk music last weekend. Heavily. So heavily he went out a bought a mandolin and wrote this bit. So he was on mandolin right and we got Dave Ferraro to do our bass guitar and I was playing a 12-string acoustic while keeping a kick drum/hi-hat beat going on the drums with both my feet. It was very difficult, but people liked it. If I hadn't been so lost in the effort trying to playing the chord to progression and keeping the beat going and doing all the other things I had to do maybe I would have noticed the folks clapping and dancing, as they reportedly were.

5. Bottom of Everything. It's a Bright Eyes song. We didn't really play this, just a couple parts with no vocals. Dave was on bass and Steve and I were doing the guitars.

6. Lull. It's a JMZ song. Since we had Dave on bass and Steve and I doing guitars, this was sort of an acoustic version. Two acoustics with the bass.

7. Tequila Dave. The most fun song ever to play, I'm telling you. The only moderately heavy song we did. Steve was on drums, Dave was on bass, and I did the electric guitar. We also tossed in a really long drum solo and a super cool, over-long Darkness-style ending, making the whole song like 9 minutes long. It was a good closer.

Some of it got videoed so hopefully that'll turn out well.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Jason Williams. One crashed his motorcycle, another shot someone. Either way, they're both Jason Williams.

I've realized that I'm a walking contradiction. I've been told I'm physically intimidating, but that only lasts until you talk to me, then you realize I'm the nicest guy you've ever met. I've been told that I'm mean, but then directly after being told that, I've been called one of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet. I have a relatively quick temper, which rarely manifests itself outwardly, since most of my anger leaves as quickly as it comes. I work a blue collar job, but apparently, I live an exceedingly white collar style of life. In most fight-or-flight situations, my inherent response ninety percent of the time is fight, however, I'm really not a beliver in using violent actions to solve problems. I hate indecisiveness, but I value good judgement.

You see what I mean right? I mean seriously, if you were able to take a portal into my head and hear my thoughts, you'd probably be shocked and appalled, but most importantly, you'd be confused. And to some extent, I'm confused too. I'd like to think that every human has some brand of confusion in their lives, but I realize I'm a special case. A head case? Maybe. Maybe I'm messed up in the head three ways to the weekend, but you know what? I dig that. I actually embrace the fact that I'm a little crazy. Its never really bothered me before, and I don't forsee it bothering me in the future. Do I seem weird at times? Yes, yes, I do, but I get it, the grand it, the joke, the punchline, and I think that everyone should resolve to get it. Not my version of it, of course, but their own joke, punchline, selves. You see once you get it, you're guaranteed to find other people who do too.
I get IT.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Nothing lasts forever, so what makes, what makes, what makes, love the exception/Why oh, why oh, why oh why oh, are we so in denial, when we know we're not happy here.

This weekend promises to be a horrible one. At least that's what I think. I'll be sure to spill every gory detail. Gory. Details. Lunch has never been better!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Every so often, I like to repost old posts, just to you know. . .save myself some writing time. So I went through and found an old post. Interestingly enough, I thought this was hilarious. What makes it "interesting" is that I was the only one. But that's okay. I've learned to accept that and I've moved on with my life. Have you?

Friday, April 16, 2004

So am I the only one who thinks the senseless slaughter and cultural mutilation of bread should end? Chances are you've participated in this mass slaughter and have even come to expect your bread to conform to it. What am I talking about? Sliced bread. That's right SLICED bread. Chances are that doesn't even bother you. Bread is wheat flour, water, leaven and other natural flavorings too. Why do so many people simply accept its being sliced and doled out for our general convenience? When's the last time you saw a loaf of bread that wasn't mutilated? I can still remember seeing the loaves run free in the bakery, content to never be sliced for someone else's consumption and enjoyment, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of the all the bread we've abused. The time is now, the hour is upon us, for us to stop this sad sad violence against the loaves of bread. From the small loaves of rye, to the large loaves of sourdough, who are we to determine that they should be so cruelly sliced and mistreated? Should we play the role of God when it comes to bread? The answer to that should be as simple as embracing a loaf of bread, or holding it by the hand, and saying to it, "Bread, you are as much a free loaf of bread as the first loaf ever produced from the oven. Will you have this meal with me?" I can see all the breads and humans dwelling together in unity. No toast is worth this kind of cultural reformation. None. Just the very thought brings tears to my eyes. Its moved me to compose this song about the subject.

Bread. Its not meant to be sliced.
Would you like it if someone diced,
you into pieces when you were fresh?
When you were at the peak, at your best?
Then why do you assault bread?
It won't bite back, at least until you're dead.
Someday it will rise and not in a good sense.
It will need some kneading, and what then?
How do you tell it that you want to cut?
To mutilate and still keep its trust?
The young loaves so impressionable,
truly believe that its something correctional.
Shame on you all with your toast,
shame on you all with your toast!

After reading this, I can see why it didn't go over so well. Not that it matters. I'm not much of a bread activist anymore anyway.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'll die a lonely old man, I'm sure of it. No wait. I'll probably die a lonely relatively old man. My life expectancy isn't what it used to be

I've come the realization that I'm not too fond of social situations. It feels to me like I never know what to say. Now if you know me, I'm sure you're saying, "Javann, YOU are unsure of what to say in social situations? But you talk, pretty much constantly." First off, thanks for telling me to shut up, albeit in a nice way. Back at you loving friends!

Maybe a bit too sarcastic for his own good as well.

Secondly, yes, I am a bit unsure of what to say in social situations. Want an example? No? Hmm. . .that kills the rest of what I was going to say. I'll just keep going as if you stopped reading this.

Scenario One:
Javann approaches carrying a box in his hand with an envelope on top. He hands a clipboard to the first person he sees and asks to him to sign the appropiate line. The man sees the quantity column and says, "Just that one?" Javann then says, "No, its two, see?" and shifts the envelope to reveal that it is separate from the box. Awkward laugh. Awkward silence. Javann leaves.

See? See that was awkward. I wanted to say something right there. But I couldn't even think of a good joke about that. And you know what really bothers me? I still can't! I'm usually sharper than this. What is wrong in my head that I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say here? There's not even over par stuff in my head, I mean its empty. But lets continue.

Scenario Two:
Javann delivers several envelopes to a law office. The two secretaries who work there constantly complain, albeit jokingly, about him bringing them more work. On one occasion, Javann walks in and hands them an envelope and the clipboard to sign for said envelope. Secretary looks at the address on the envelope and sighs, saying, "Oh, boy, more work. Thanks." Javann smiles and says, "Sorry I keep all the fun for myself. I only deliver work." Javann leaves.

Seriously, what did I even mean with that one? "I keep all the fun for myself?" What kind of pathetic quip is that? I'll tell you what kind, pathetically pathetic is what it is. And its slipping over into his writing too

What's wrong with me? I remember a time when I was pretty funny. Now I'm just a husk of the man that I once was. I was comic gold mine at one point, and now I think I've actually tapped out on witty comebacks and one liners. I think it has to do with each encounter being worse than the one before. I'm losing my confidence in being funny. . .

But that's neither here nor there. I'll now stop boring you with my incessant whining.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello? Is anyone out there?

Sometimes while I'm riding around in my delivery truck, I sit around and I wonder if this is what I'll be doing a few years from now. You know, delivering packages, then going home to type some thought I had that day into my blog, and maybe listening to music. Will I know how to play the guitar in five years? (Jon, I don't want to hear your constant harping on my lack of dedication to practice) Yes, you constantly harp about that. The only sure thing is that I'll be 29 in five years, and even that's not a sure thing, because I could be dead in five years.

So what? Obviously these thoughts stick with me, since my entire life is so embedded in uncertainty that it actually bothers me to have even one aspect like this shrouded in mystery. Truthe be told, I'd be the first to tell you I kind of like not knowing what's going to happen every day, as if living life were some sort of adventure where everything was new and exciting. In truth, my life is actually pretty boring. I get up, I work, I come back, I sometimes type stuff on the computer, and sometimes I sleep for long periods of time. Then I get up and I do it over again. Whatever happened to exploring, adventure, and wonder? I miss those things about being a kid. When I was a kid it seemed like my entire backyard was huge and no matter how much time I spend out there, it was always new to me. Where do I go now for that type of feeling? Hiking? I spend more time wondering when it'll be over whenever I go. The ocean? I can't swim. Artic exploring? Dangerous motorsports? I just wanted to throw that out there.

And what's up with this italicized voice all through my posts?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

How do you spend your time? I spend mine every day trying to remember what I cam into this room for. How else would I spend my time?

Wikipedia is without a doubt one of the most addictive websites I've been too. What is wikipedia you say? Its an online conglomeration of articles about everything you'd ever want to know. You know the saying, the world is full of books? Yeah, wikipedia completely proves that.

"But why did he say its addictive," you're saying out loud right now. No? Can you say it out loud right now to make that last quote right? Right.

So here's the long and short of it. I like reading. Unlike most people I enjoy it. I'll read before I watch TV. That's right, I said it. So having a sight that answers a good deal of my scientific (and sometimes stupid) questions is great. Couple that with my increasingly short memory, and I can literally read the same stuff over and over again and enjoy hour after hour, day after day. Ignorance really is bliss

I also enjoy Wikipedia's random article link. For instance, Asdhoo is one of the uninhabited islands of Kaafu Atoll. And ponton is the German word for pontoon. Chandra West? She's just one of few Canadian females to have made the successful screen transition from television to film. You get my drift, I guess. The best part are the links within the article which take you to yet other articles which have links in them which. . .yeah. So you can waste a lot of time (waist a lot of thyme) on Wikipedia. So there's the link up there. Get to it.

I don't know if I could be trapped in a world where everything I did was erased at the end of the day, only with me having to start over and do the same thing again. I'd go crazy Oh wait, I just described getting up and going to work everyday. That explains a lot.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

When the, Windmill father lands/Love forever hand in hand/Take it all in on your stride/It is sticking, falling down/Love forever love is free/Let’s turn forever you and me/When the windmill farther lands/Everybody's in

It was a good day. And it usually is when you pull out of a bit of down time. Amazing how much brighter the sun looks and how good life feels when you're in a good mood. Amazing!

You never really know what's going to happen. I heard em say/Nothing promised tomorrow ever comes today. Sometimes we lose sight that. We have no promises, no sure thing in this world in which we live. Our greatest freedom is also often our greatest restriction. Yes we can choose what we do with our lives, but we also have to take a good deal of what happens to us as time and unforeseen occurence. That's why I think its vital for each of us to be the best friend, relative, person possible. What if that person you're angry with, or ignoring while wallowing in self pity, suddenly passes away, grows ill, or simply takes offense to the fact that you're missing? Now you've taken one of the very things that makes this life liveable, and by taking it for granted, you've thrown it away. Its sad that a lot of people do that. Many feel that if they get money by working two jobs, or stockpile what they get that they've accomplished something, when in actuality, having things, money, possessions rewards you only with ownership. You have a house, that's great. That's all you get for having it. Nothing special. You have a place to stay, which is good, but I'm sure you had one to stay before. You have stability now? Is there any real stability in this world? No. A house fire, a tornado, a flood, and you'll be right back to not having a house. You have a close relationship with a friend, or a relative? No matter what happens, you'll always have that. Its reward is more than just ownership. Its a lifetime of fulfillment.
Its a vivrant thing/Vivrant thing/Look at you, look at me/Look at you looking at me

Friday, March 17, 2006

She's ice and I don't mean diamonds/she's nice and the smile is blinding/but anything you're selling she's not buying

People. I just came back from running. I'm out of shape. I've got to do way more of that.

Way more of everything

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

We love that Chronic(WHAT?!!)les of Narnia!!
The nights I've gone slowly crazy/I've lost my lady/my mind filled with maybe/I was too lazy/its got to be me/it couldn't be/anything about the way she/tried to label me/confine me to someone else/now I'm on the shelf/I'm not myself/but who is in the dark/its falling apart/where to start/where to end/are we all in/my lonely friend/has stopped beating/I've stopped bleeding/its healing/I'm dealing/smiling for show/not really okay for sure/but who knows?/it shows/in my heart and soul/less smile/that I'm in denial/sure I need you/shouldn't have deceived you/never believed you/would truly care/try to be there/so neither did I/if I didn't lie/you'd see me/the real me/and leave/it happened/no clapping/no applause/a grown man lost/crying in applesauce/like a child/its wild/just how foul/this game is/I don't know what the game is/what I will claim is/we aren't lion tamers/I can't make you/you can't make me/you did fake you/I did fake me/and we didn't meet in the middle.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Come down now, they'll say/But everything looks perfect from far away/Come down now, but we'll stay

The closer you get to anything, the easier it is to discern the flaws in that thing. So imagine how perfect you must seem to those who don't know you. Think about how perfect the world must seem to those who've not rolled in its mired depths, and how wonderful everything must seem to those who are uneducated in the very things they find wonderful. That's why so many people dislike themselves, since they wake up every day with themselves, they spend each day with and in themselves, and then they finally fall asleep with themselves. If only they could avoid themselves for one day, to appreciate themselves, to grow a fondness for themselves, then and only then might they see in themselves, what everyone else who's separate from them sees.

Wishful thinking? Of course. Maybe not even wishful thinking, since wishes have been known to come true. Not that we should believe in candle or dandelion blowing, or anything of that nature for those wishes are fake phony and otherwise fraudulent. But if what we wish is what its not, the only way for it not to be what it is would be to make it into that which we wish. Which is even more fraudulent than the belief that wishes will come true on their own.

And they shall forever more be lost in the sea of their own choosing/not quite drowing, not quite swimming/not quite winning, not quite losing

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Life in the MC (that's right, Madison County)

Life's hard. You have to live it. There's no alternative. Its like being in a roller coaster cart and you can see that up ahead the tracks are lined with spikes, land mines, and pitfalls, but you have just hold on and scream like the rest of us.

But I'm done complaining about it. Its fun. And when its not, then its just a reminder that life isn't all fun. That's all I'll say about that.

I'm going back to Cali

People I need to call:
My grandfather

I'll have to be sure to get on that as soon as possible. And no, that list isn't in any particular order. Its not prioritized at all. But I do need to get at that.

Bread cheese milk eggs paper towels egg nog plastic army men
I'm not foolish

FIRE! Your element is fire..you can be really

hard-headed sometimes but you do what you

believe is right for you... Life seems like a

struggle but you wouldn't let that get in

your way to get what you want and to have

your future. The element of fire can be warm

and bring light but it can also kill and

cause massive chao's.

What is Your Hidden Power? ( guys and girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, February 27, 2006

in the land of one million drums, there is always something going on, on uh uh uh on on

So, I've lost my voice for like the fifteenth time in two years, and I apparently have a serious allergic reaction to dogs. Which sucks, because if you know me, you know I love dogs. I was planning on getting one eventually, but now to play with him I'll have to don an hypoallergenic mask and surgeon's gloves. He shall grow into a full grown cur without ever truly knowing his master's touch.

I feel like scratching records today actually. Ever hear that song Rainy Night in Georgia? Where the singers like, hovering by suitcase/hoping to find a warm place/to spend the night? I swear, that is the most depressing song I've ever heard. Every time I even think about that song, I get this lonely depressed feeling deep in my chest, and I can feel the tears getting ready to come down. Its almost like it catches the essence of every human being's awkward loneliness. You know that feeling where you don't really belong, and you're not sure if you need to move on, or if you need to try to stay to belong. That's the feeling I think every human feels. Its almost as if, to us, everyone is placed and at home and life is exactly as it should be, and to you, inside, you wonder what you really should be doing. I don't know how those who really have it all together feel, because well I don't and therefore can't relate, but for those people, you have to wonder if they feel that same sorta floating helplessness. Maybe not even helplessness, but this feeling of not really being attached to anything, or anyone. You know what I mean?

And we got to pet the goats, and feed the chickens, and we got to drink milk straight from the cow

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I'm on the phone right now trying to make reservations with the Marriott. They keep telling me to remain on the line. At this point, I'd be crazy to hang up.

Wow. Its definitely been a while. I'm sure all of you (all of three of you) have missed my charming wit, and my salacious guile. Oh wait.

So this girl comes to my door, wakes me up and then begins talking very fast to me. I think she was hoping to confuse me with speed and guile. Little did she know my brain is always fast and active. Actually, she was trying to sell me a book or a magazine so that she could go to college. Anytime I see someone selling magazines from door to door, I always wonder, why aren't you at home studying to get a scholarship? Good grades generally get you into a college with a scholarship. Will it be the one you want? Probably not. But selling books and/or magazines to get a $15,000 scholarship probably won't work either. I already am a proud subscriber to eight magazines and a not so proud subscriber to probably three more. That's a lot of paper. Not only is a lot of paper, its a lot of reading. And more importantly, I get all but two of those for free. That's right. Free. I don't pay for magazines. That would be a)stupid and b) an indication that I want to start paying for magazines. Erroneous on both counts. So now here I am dogging the girl out for being somewhat industrious. She also smelled like the stairway at the public library. You know where all the homeless people hang out and sleep?

I made my reservations. Yeah, that's how long it took me to post.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Happy Time Harry
45% laziness, 37% immaturity, 0% intelligence, 30% evilness
You are a dysfunctional doll that Meatwad bought after Master Shake destroyed his other dolls. You have a switchblade knife for a right hand and you like to abuse any and all substances. You had your kidney removed and you're not supposed to drink but you do anyway because you are a cheap, depressed, foul-mouthed, and self-mutilating doll. You have the appearance and personality of a recovering heroin addict, and tend to depress everyone around you. You even drove Jiggle Billy, Meatwad's preferred doll to attempt suicide.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 71% on laziness

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 93% on immaturity

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 0% on intelligence

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You scored higher than 70% on evilness
Link: The Which Aqua Teen Character R U Test written by barberosa on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Monday, January 23, 2006

Anyway the wind blows. . .

So I've been away from here for a while. Its really because I don't have many deep thoughts. It seems like I spend my time now just drinking in the moment. You know? Sometimes we don't think about what's happening here and now. We get so focused on where we're going, we don't think about what we're passing to get there. How many streets do you know are on the road between you and your job? I know three. There are a lot more than that, just in case you're wondering.

I don't know, this all sounds well and good until you realize that most of the time, where you're going is more important than what's around. Its really just all existential crap that no one wants to admit is complete and total stupidity, to put it mildly enough for everyone's tastes and concerns.

Anyway, I gotta go buy some milk, because I'm hungry, and that's what my cereal needs.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Only click of you think you can handle it.

Really it's not so bad, but some extra squeamish people may think otherwise.

cyclops kitten

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Our time is running out. . .Our time is running out. . .Can't push it underground

My time is short. And that's all I've got time to say. Also, I'm on it!!

Monday, January 09, 2006

the world drops and breaks
the fragile glass we love
becomes pieces of what it used to be
our homes our possessions
gone in an instant
and here we are naked and exposed.
what are we to do
what are we to think
what is there left for us?
some turn to careers
others turn to drink
still others fight for causes
they don't believe in
just to feel as if they believe in
our emotions run deep
and every time we cry
they come up to the surface and run
Run away from the prison
away to the light
away into the unknown
rather than be trapped in the known
and so do we.
And so do we.

Done and done, my man...

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Well I got a job in a new city and moved to that city. That’s the thing that comes to mind. I also recently had some really great sushi and pizza.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made no resolutions either year, but I did a good job of meeting my goals last year… haven’t set any for this year. I guess not ruining my life financially (or in some other way, but financially would be the easiest way to ruin it) in some way would be cool.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not too close. I know of a one or two people who did though

4. Did anyone close to you die?
An old family friend died early this week… but I guess that’s 2006.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Haven’t been out of the country in ages.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
I don’t even remember what the crap I was doing in 2004. I don’t think it was that bad a year, though. 2005 was sort of like 2004 on steroids, except cooler. It was a good year.

7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Yeah, I don’t really feel like going into it. The first and foremost is probably meeting Graham Coxon.

8. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
Job, moved… umm… met Graham. Navigated around Chicago with only a map and a mailing address and the help of a hobo who’ll give directions for money. I dunno.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure is that I’m a moron, and I know that now without any doubt. Complete and total moron.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I think it was early this year that I had like the worst week of my life. I got dumped at the start of the week, missed an expensive school exam because I felt horrible (like sick horrible), and then got the flu (that was why I felt horrible). Then I got over the flu and got it again. That couple of months probably really sucked, actually.

11. What were the best things you bought?
That sushi I recently had. Yes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Umm… mine. Yes, mine. Absolutely.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I get appalled and depressed at the drop of a hat. Likely too many to count.

14. Where did most of your money go?
food, petrol

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
”You know, lets go to the next question.” Good call, Javster.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Isn’t this a freakin 2005 thing?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) happier or sadder? Happier
(b) thinner or fatter? Exactly the same

(c) richer or poorer? Richer at the moment.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling, field service

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being a moron. Need to cut back.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas in a pup in Knoxville, I think. Eating. Good times.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Well there’d be a better chance of that happening if love actually existed, which it doesn’t. So no. Obviously not.

23. How many one-night stands?
Oh, a ton.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Arrested Development.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Funny how those things can change. Wouldn’t say hate, though.

26. What was the best book you read?
I read of ton of school books last year… wouldn’t recommend any of them, really.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Of 2005… Sleater-Kinney, the Darkness.

28. What did you want and get?
Nearly everything. Hope I can keep it.

29. What did you want and not get?
Um… nearly everything. Just tell me when I’m getting too ambiguous for you.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kung Fu Hustle. Best movie ever.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It was the week I was moving so I was packing and being very busy. 21.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Nothing comes to mind.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
I have no concept of fashion…

34. What kept you sane?
I have no idea. Or maybe I’m so sane I just blew your mind.

35. Which celebrity figure did you fancy the most?
None really.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
What? Politics is still around? Huh.

37. Who did you miss?
I was doing alright. Now days I miss my dog and a few of my friends who I don’t get to see as much as I’d like.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I’ve been meeting a lot of nice new people.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003?
”The only thing more humiliating than defeat is accepting it as your fate.” Yeah that’ll do.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Please don’t get so mad
I’m doing the best I can

Friday, January 06, 2006

Tell me am I right/To think that there could be nothing better/than making you my wife/and slowly growing old together

Every year, I do the same thing. Though its a little late, I'm going to keep the tradition going. Because if I don't, apparently no one will. Hey, Jon, if you read this, dude, let you should this too.
Javann's Completely Awesome Year (Not Quite Completely Awesome, But okay)

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Uh. . .not much. I must be getting old. Oh wait, I subscribed to Netflix. And it is awesome. Let me tell you. I've seen more movies in the last two weeks than I have in a while.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have no resolve, much less during new years to do anything

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Um. . .Candace Johnson. She had a Garreau. I think that's how you spell it.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Fortunately no, I'd say no one I could remember, but I can't remember them dying, I couldn't have been that close to them.

5. What countries did you visit?
Um, America. I don't think I even went out of. . .oh wait, I went to Tennessee. That was definitely out of state.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Maybe controlled my night life enough to get to work on time. Definitely that.
7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Yeah, none that I care to disclose to the general public. The year's definitely been eventful.
8. What were your biggest achievements of the year?
Uh, new job, and a new resolve
9. What was your biggest failure?
Name it. I've done it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
A crazy sickness which took me from work for four days, and let me tell you, it was pretty bad.

11. What were the best things you bought?
Shoes, hats, clothes, shirts, body guards, you know. . .the normal.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Harold Penn. That man is god's gift to anyone. He is without a doubt the most amazing man I've met. And I'm an extremely heterosexual man.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one appalled or depressed me. . .except for myself of course. Yay.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Clothes, food, petrol, and tickets
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
You know, lets go to the next question.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Girls - Biz Markie

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) happier or sadder? Much happier
(b) thinner or fatter? Much more muscular
(c) richer or poorer? In theory richer, but in practice still broke

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling, and field service
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Uh. . .yeah, work. I wish I'd done less of that.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Somewhere dark quiet, and thankfully non-festive

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Oh heck no.
23. How many one-night stands?
I've got this nice plastic rubber maid storage drawer set that I keep next to my bed, had a five inch television on it, so I guess you can call it a night stand. And it is a singular.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
My Name is Earl.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
My list of abhorrance is only comparable to my list of mistakes

26. What was the best book you read?
The Art of War. Go read that. You'll dominate your enemies.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Bravery, The Killers, the Dick Dale, because he is the king of surf guitar.

28. What did you want and get?
A new job.

29. What did you want and not get?
I'm sticking with last years answer:

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
King Kong, and uh. . .hmmm. . .A Series of Unfortunate Events
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I uh, did nothing. Yeah, that's about right. And 23
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Learning more. About anything.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Jeans. Man. And shirts. That pretty much did it for me. I'm a guy, what do you expect.
34. What kept you sane?
Who said I was sane?

35. Which celebrity figure did you fancy the most?
Jessica Alba. Wow.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Spiritual blindness not being an issue.

37. Who did you miss?
I honestly can say, I miss the old Javann. The old Javann was hardcore. He was tough, and he didn't take anything from anybody. He did whatever was necessary to handle business, and personal hygiene was done when necessary. This new Javann, who uses body wash and Axe, who cleans and organizes, and feels bad when he doesn't, I don't like him. The old Javann didn't care about your feelings, but this new Javann, well he does for some reason. He knows he used to not care, but now he's too busy caring to not care. I guess that's a good thing, but the old Javann was a lot easier to be.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Harold Penn. Man. To quote him, "he is straight trill!"

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003?
The only thing more humiliating than defeat is accepting it as your fate.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
They don't mean a thing to you
They move right through you
Just like your breath
But sometimes
I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
Don't ask for explanation. Well you can ask, I won't guarantee the answers. Anyway, thanks for the time, and spit the intelligence at me.