Thursday, July 14, 2005

So today, I'm peacefully driving my delivery truck when I get stuck behind a car travelling well below the speed limit. Now I was in no hurry, so I stayed behind them for a while, but after I saw a lady in a wheel chair pass me, I decided to go around the car. Sure enough, they were old. And as anyone who knows me will attest to, if there's anything I like talking about, its old people. I find them fascinating to say the least. Not fascinating like I love old people, and I think they're cute (sorry geriatric anthropologists) but fascinating like their logic must make sense in their own wrinkly stoop backed little world. Don't get me wrong, old people are literally the backs upon which society and technology are built, and I respect their contributions to our flourishing culture (ha!) but seriously. . .they don't make any sense. For instance, they drive slowly. As if they have all the time in the world to get where they're going. They don't work, sure, but they are ripe for death, and if I were old, I'd be living like I could drop dead at any point in my life, because I literally could. Wisdom? I think not. Danger negates itself as you get older. The whole point of avoiding dangerous situations is avoiding death. And lets be realistic, dying of old age is not exactly the way one ends up. Alzheimers, cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and a plethora of other diseases will catch up to you in the long run, and then after several months of severe pain and suffering, you die. So, knowing that this probably will be you, you take every precaution to ensure that you make it to this end? Maybe its because they all hope one night they'll fall asleep and die, but let me tell you, back pain, arthritis, loss of sight, and watching your friends go is just as bad as any disease I mentioned. So live dangerously old people. Go hang gliding, or base jumping, or even sky diving, just go out and live. Think of how cool you'll be in the obituaries if you're the 89 year old who died in a freakish bungee jumping accident. I'd think you're cool.

4 comments:

Jonathan said...
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Jonathan said...

Old people started getting on my nerves when I was like 17 and 18. They would always claim that I thought I knew everything because of my age when, well, I didn't think that, nor did I say I did. But they thought I did so they would spend large amounts of time making sure I knew how clueless I indeed was.

My grandmother is cool because she actually gives me the benefit of the doubt that maybe - just maybe - I have a brain that functions. Yeah she can hang

Javann said...

It should be pointed out that I like old people. I interact with them everyday. I just don't understand them.

Javann said...

See ya Tuesday, kids. I slept in today, and it was awesome.