Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Leave us not kid ourselves. I just heard American Woman being played to advertise an Arby's sandwich. That type of thing just makes you want to go somewhere in a corner and cry your heart out.

So things that are of major concern in Javann's life. Its cold. That's of more than major concern. That's just crazy talk man. Crazy.

I don't like to share. I don't like it. I'm sorry. If I'm eating food, and you want some, don't ask me for it. Because I don't like to share. That's right. I don't like to share anything. Don't get me wrong. I WILL share, but man I hate it. You know when you share something with someone, you just don't feel right after it. Classic example: I hate taking a shower right after someone else takes one. I hate it. Its warm, but its not my heat. There's no way I'm alone on that. I don't like that. I'm also not a big fan of sharing my emotions or feelings. Yes, I "express them" but I don't like to share them. You know, when you're with your therapist and she's all like, tell me how that made you feel, and you're kinda like, uh, no I don't want anyone to "know" how I felt, or feel. Its just not a comfortable feeling for me. Of course, I just shared how I felt by saying that. But it wasn't a positive experience. I'd like to think I haven't become any closer to absolution with my inner demons. I like that I can say that. Yeah, I like saying stuff like that too.

But the real question in my mind is why? Why don't I like sharing? I technically should, because its the "right" thing to do. But honestly, there's a lot of things that are good and right, pure and what not, that I don't like to do. And conversely, a lot of horrible things that I love to do, though, I should clarify and say I don't go around doing those horrible things. Trying to make sure you cover all your bases eh? So what's the difference? I have no idea personally, and at this point, I'm just filling space. Yeah. So I've got some gatorade in my stomach that seriously needs some solid companionship. Most likely to be in the form of a soy chicken patty. Or a soy patty that's supposed to taste like chicken. Or whatever.

2 comments:

Jonathan said...

Sometimes you just have to hate things that you really shouldn't hate. It happens, man. For example, at this point in time I consider girls to be cold, emotionless, flakey, horrible things and I just kinda dislike them in general. I mean, I know I shouldn't feel that way. But I quite do. So don't feel so bad, Javster. It could be worse.

bookyeti said...

I'm not a real sharin' kinda person either, when it comes to food...but I'm learning. The transition is not as graceful as it should be, but hey, it's a leraning process. If someone asked me to share something, I still flinch, but I usually let them have some (just a LITTLE). I don't go for the jugular anymore...well, usually.

American Woman for an Arby's sandwhich? Travesty.