Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'll die a lonely old man, I'm sure of it. No wait. I'll probably die a lonely relatively old man. My life expectancy isn't what it used to be

I've come the realization that I'm not too fond of social situations. It feels to me like I never know what to say. Now if you know me, I'm sure you're saying, "Javann, YOU are unsure of what to say in social situations? But you talk, pretty much constantly." First off, thanks for telling me to shut up, albeit in a nice way. Back at you loving friends!

Maybe a bit too sarcastic for his own good as well.

Secondly, yes, I am a bit unsure of what to say in social situations. Want an example? No? Hmm. . .that kills the rest of what I was going to say. I'll just keep going as if you stopped reading this.

Scenario One:
Javann approaches carrying a box in his hand with an envelope on top. He hands a clipboard to the first person he sees and asks to him to sign the appropiate line. The man sees the quantity column and says, "Just that one?" Javann then says, "No, its two, see?" and shifts the envelope to reveal that it is separate from the box. Awkward laugh. Awkward silence. Javann leaves.

See? See that was awkward. I wanted to say something right there. But I couldn't even think of a good joke about that. And you know what really bothers me? I still can't! I'm usually sharper than this. What is wrong in my head that I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say here? There's not even over par stuff in my head, I mean its empty. But lets continue.

Scenario Two:
Javann delivers several envelopes to a law office. The two secretaries who work there constantly complain, albeit jokingly, about him bringing them more work. On one occasion, Javann walks in and hands them an envelope and the clipboard to sign for said envelope. Secretary looks at the address on the envelope and sighs, saying, "Oh, boy, more work. Thanks." Javann smiles and says, "Sorry I keep all the fun for myself. I only deliver work." Javann leaves.

Seriously, what did I even mean with that one? "I keep all the fun for myself?" What kind of pathetic quip is that? I'll tell you what kind, pathetically pathetic is what it is. And its slipping over into his writing too

What's wrong with me? I remember a time when I was pretty funny. Now I'm just a husk of the man that I once was. I was comic gold mine at one point, and now I think I've actually tapped out on witty comebacks and one liners. I think it has to do with each encounter being worse than the one before. I'm losing my confidence in being funny. . .

But that's neither here nor there. I'll now stop boring you with my incessant whining.


Jonathan said...

You were a "comic gold mine" at one point? When was that?

Itzjerm said...

situtation one...

(this doesnt get you anywhere)...

Oh there are two boxes here, the second one is attached to this envelope its a nanopod package. Careful opening it. Thats really cool you got a nanopod. One time I swallowed a nanopod.

At this point the people are just confused... but signed and you leave.

Your problem... you started watching to many movies... this converts the brain from inventing new genious thought to trying to remember and assimulate others thoughts into your own.

Anonymous said...

i've got to agree w/ jonathan on that one.