So here I am with nothing but my chicken dinner and a steak knife. Indeed. After yet another long night of video editing, I've got a video which can't be beat. I say it can't be beat because I doubt there's a rival video out there, but if there is I've got some slick production values that are bound to make all the other videos out there green with envy. Greener than this page, and perhaps greener than even the hulk himself. Arrruuugh? By now I've piqued your interest, and I'm sure that you're at the edge of your seat dying to see this video of Javann's well, I'm happy to say, NO video for you! You will not see this video because you aren't cool enough to. . .wait, you're very cool because you're sitting here reading the greatness that is Javann. So I'll tell the truth and say I'm not very cool because I don't have the space, the webspace that is to be able to show this incredibly incredible video to you. If there is someone out there with the type of webspace to host say, a 33 MB video. . .then again. . .actually. . .never mind that's a huge type of video. If you want to see this masterful masterpiece (yeah I sound like the announcer from Batman) chances are you'll have to come to my location, or I to yours and we'll be sure to watch it. Either way, I've still got a two page paper to go with it that I've not done yet, so I'll be on my way.

My mood?

What do you mean I need sleep?

Yep. If you've not noticed I have been updating the blog regularly. Every Wednesday and Friday. Don't worry, you'll get everyday goodness (at least every week day goodness) right back at you soon enough, just let me get past some of these finals. I'd say something like, I should studying right now, but I'm really tired. Really really tired. From what? I can't sleep. Everything seems to want to be thought about right at the same time. I think I should first explain Friday's post. Call it artistic call it an eyesore, I call it creative. I also call it never to be done again. That was a horrid little piece of literary patheticness, and thank goodness some people actually took the time to read it. I'm proud of you few who struggled to understand the greatness that is Javann. As for the rest of you, well I'm not proud of you. Go cry in your endless guilt and shame. So what's been happening? Well Tuesday was the last day of class, though really for me it was Monday since I don't have any Tuesday classes. Finals are soon to be upon us, a time period when your entire semeseter rides on your remembering it. Needless to say, yours truly is less than enthusiastic, seeing how I do well to remember my name much less an entire semester of remembering my name. If my toes weren't attached to my foot, I'd lose my shoe all the time. Exactly, I forgot the punchline of that joke. Anyway, I've also been having bouts of insomnia, some nights I'm doing well to be sleeping at all much less seven to eight hours that every human needs. One of these days I will learn what it takes to go to bed at 9 or 10'oclock and not wake up at 2 sweating and unable to go back to sleep. I've also been building a list of music for a party, and I'll take all the help I can get. Leave your ideas for what you'd want to dance to at a party. I owe someone something or other. . .oh yeah. . .right. . . I forgot. Lets call this a day.
My mood?

Hulk smash or something. . .Hulk forget really.

Somebody unsuscribe me I'd like this newsletter to stop let me go ahead and click here because I know that's where I should click I guess its just another day, and with each day comes each others random thoughts covered in nothing always in something but not completely without nighttime to hide our faults and thoughts and things that we don't want anyone else to see but if we see what everyone else wants us to see then we'd all be ashamed to go outside into the light where there's so much color and life to be grasped have you grasped the light lately how can you grasp that which is not tangible just proof that a source of energy exists and is nearby evidence is rarely that which we want it to be often it is merely just something that makes us think something else how can you decide someones life based on what you think alone especially when that decision involves being responsible for such a young life in your hands they quiver and tremor and sometimes if you stare just long enough they look at you back in your eyes and you know at that moment that you've made the greatest mistake of your life because now you have more than just you and her its them to take care of and chances are you'll never really fully be able to do everything that is needed or maybe its just that the mind can never really be satisified because it can always imagine more than is possessed by the imaginee or maybe its the imaginer since the employee often works for the employer but if the employee dislikes his or her employer they should think more about trying to make sense or maybe they should make cents because getting paid is the point of work and if you don't work because you want the money then you don't really work you play or better you hobby around all day because you like what you do but that's the way that the counselor told me I should want to be but then that other counselor told me way back that I had issues and that I needed to be talked to over the course of time to be right in the head and I said I don't want to be right I want to be left behind again by all of my friends and here I am alone and when that happens I think about how much more like everyone else I could be and sometimes after I think that I really feel bad about myself because I know that regardless of who I am I'm me and I don't want to change but if I change I'll be someone else someone that everyone else seems to like me to be or maybe its just that everyone else wants to be that someone and so now they pretend to like that someone because they want to that doesn't make any sense so now the question is what exactly do I mean by change because that's what influences our time have you taken it to read this or did you stop at some other point chances are you've called it a day but this is what its like to live in my head above the brooklyn bridge beyond the clouds and stars there lives a great dragon who doesn't believe that humans exists and every day he eats a breakfast made entirely by humans and every night his dinner consists of human foodstuffs and as he roams about the house that was built for him by humans he continues to breath fire and say humans don't exists simply because he knows whats best just like father who always does everything right except for make his children happy or even just understand the emotions they have did I go to far I may have struck a nerve or maybe I've just struck out and I'm walking back to the bench and I know I mean I know I'm never going to have another chance to be what I want to be or do what I want but the entire walk back all I can think about is charleston chew its embedded in my brain like tattoo etched in my back of the worlds longest thought that never really ends just fades off into the distance bravely wondering and looking back and thinking that someday someone will eventually reach the end and discover that the pot of gold thing was nothing but a lie anyway I used to use the hose pipe to make my own rainbows and I'd half wish that there'd be at least a quarter down there or maybe a dime at least some silvery thing if not a pot of gold but then as I moved my head to look I noticed the rainbow got longer and before long the rainbow was a circle and I realized the pot of gold was the rainbow because that's what was as the end of it after this realization was made there was nothing left for me to do but to travel to Canada reading books about tour guides who were mass murdered by the same man who had a destest of the musuem all because at four some mean tour guide wouldn't let him have some ice cream I'm not living vicariously not so much as living precariously since there's nothing behind me and nothing in front of me no past no future nothing to catch myself on or to remind me that I am indeed human domo arigato Mr. Roboto with parts made from Japan I guess this means that when I fall apart I'll have to be shipped back piece by piece from where I came from for repair of my broken heart and of my aching back as well as my neck my neck and my back but to make a long story longer after I got to Canada I was greeted by this vat of beer who was just longing for me to drink it or maybe it was me longing to drink it but I dove right in and realized I couldn't swim so then I had to drink me way out but chances are I didn't because I woke up at 6:49 and realized I had less then ten minutes to call my own place of establishment and dwelling I could go on for days but for the moment we'll call this the end.
My mood?

Frozen thoughts flow better. . .

So I'm still working on my 5-7 page cultural analysis. Its on a music video, All Falls Down in fact, and to tell the truth the thing is going slowly. I've not had time to do much other than work on it, though I did write some stuff last night. And of course, since I'm pressed for time, I'm just leaving this and running. Sorry, kids and kidettes. I suggest you check out misconstruedthoughts.com. That way when it blowuptuates you can say you were down before anyone else was. So anyway, here's what I wrote.

You're everything I already knew,
like some part of me
Broke away and it became you,
because you know me.
When you talk I hear my voice too,
you've become me.
So much you know what I'll do
so completely.
I know I said I'd die for you
do you believe me?
When I say I can't live for you,
just trust me.
I'll definitely be the one for you
and you for me.
Together between us two,
you'll be me.

And here's another:

At night I sit and wonder if I'm sane,
there's got to be an imbalance in my brain.
I see people and I hear their voices.
All of them try to influence my choices.
Constantly talking telling me what to do,
nothing destructive, constructive like you.
Even if I'm alone, I'm caught into a zone,
this twilight car ride isn't taking me home.
I'd click my heels at the drop of a dime,
if some old lady would just give me a sign.
I could be fine,
back home with my aunt and her slaves.
decorating their graves
in glorious technicolor
blues blacks and reds
how did they all end up dead?

My mood?

That car looks mighty familiar. . .

So am I the only one who thinks the senseless slaughter and cultural mutilation of bread should end? Chances are you've participated in this mass slaughter and have even come to expect your bread to conform to it. What am I talking about? Sliced bread. That's right SLICED bread. Chances are that doesn't even bother you. Bread is wheat flour, water, leaven and other natural flavorings too. Why do so many people simply accept its being sliced and doled out for our general convenience? When's the last time you saw a loaf of bread that wasn't mutilated? I can still remember seeing the loaves run free in the bakery, content to never be sliced for someone else's consumption and enjoyment, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of the all the bread we've abused. The time is now, the hour is upon us, for us to stop this sad sad violence against the loaves of bread. From the small loaves of rye, to the large loaves of sourdough, who are we to determine that they should be so cruelly sliced and mistreated? Should we play the role of God when it comes to bread? The answer to that should be as simple as embracing a loaf of bread, or holding it by the hand, and saying to it, "Bread, you are as much a free loaf of bread as the first loaf ever produced from the oven. Will you have this meal with me?" I can see all the breads and humans dwelling together in unity. No toast is worth this kind of cultural reformation. None. Just the very thought brings tears to my eyes. Its moved me to compose this song about the subject.

Bread. Its not meant to be sliced.
Would you like it if someone diced,
you into pieces when you were fresh?
When you were at the peak, at your best?
Then why do you assault bread?
It won't bite back, at least until you're dead.
Someday it will rise and not in a good sense.
It will need some kneading, and what then?
How do you tell it that you want to cut?
To mutilate and still keep its trust?
The young loaves so impressionable,
truly believe that its something correctional.
Shame on you all with your toast,
shame on you all with your toast!
SHAME!!
SHAME!!
TOAST IS MURDER!!

My mood?

Didn't ever think I'd find a B-Boy stance with the Hulk, didja?