Wednesday, December 08, 2004

What is it that makes us choose who we shall be? Some of us want strive to be feared, so we spend hours in the gym, training our bodies to become the ultimate machine, capable of destroying others. Others want to be desired, so they adorn themselves with all manners of chemicals and metals, all in hopes of being some unattainable treasure, some rare goods that shall forever remain out of the reach of all who see them. What drives us to be the good one, the bad one, or even the witty one? Why do we try to portray ourselves as certain types of people? What does that portrayal reveal about you?

I can remember back in high school (shudder) when I went through the different phases of who I wanted to be. In ninth grade, I wanted to be the tough guy, the guy that everyone feared, in tenth grade, I wanted to be the guy that all the girls wanted. In eleventh, I wanted to be the social outcast who was so above all society that no one even mattered to him. Finally, my senior year, I wanted to be the class clown, the guy that everyone liked because he was funny. Oddly enough, though I went through all of those different phases, in the end, what I ended up being was a little bit of all those things. I like being the tough guy, the different guy, or the guy all the girls like. I don't mind being the clown, the guy that makes you laugh. All of those things became an embodiment of my personality. But why? What makes me want to be those things? Friends? Family? The media? The world may never know. And neither will I. But the truth of the matter is that no matter what I, or anyone else for that matter, may be, I can still say with confidence that I'm me. And that counts for something right?

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