First and foremost sorry for the downtime. Thanks for the comments, keep hitting the site, and I'll keep doing my thing I guess. But for the time being:

She comes back for me in small doses,
I suppose its,
just a reminder of why this ended,
but it leaves my life so upended,
I wonder if that's what she intended?
I never knew what I had till it was gone,
But now that I know I'm glad this is done,
Because to see what I've become,
is to see a shell of what I used to be,
a shell of the man I formerly knew as me.
Not sure if this new me is strong,
but I'm sure he'll not be in control for long.
My former self was powerful in its ways,
and so far it won't allow anything to end its days.
It resurfaces at night in my dreams,
and I relish the power and destruction in brings.
I know it seems dark and disturbing,
but its truly this new self that's a bit unnerving.
I'm used to who I was, and not what I am,
so now I want to go back and be that man,
that I was before she struck,
but everytime she comes back, I get stuck
between transitions,
and not even the strongest nuclear fission,
could rupture me away regressing,
or maybe its progression,
hard to say.
Either way.
I know what awaits me if I don't change,
and I accept that as a child does its name.
I guess the reality of it should make me ashamed,
but how can you shame yourself,
if you're you and not someone else?

mp3? I don't have this song, but I suggest you hear it, Anthony Hamilton - I Used To Love You. So fire up what you have and do what you must to hear this song.