Wednesday, April 13, 2005

So, lets say that you could copy yourself. An exact replica, right down to your emotions, feelings, and mental inner workings. Now, here is your replica. Let's also say that you decide that you'll hook your copy up with a blind date. Of course, the whole situation is really weird, so you don't want the person to realize that this person you're hooking them up with is you, only not. How do you go about doing that? How do you describe yourself, without giving away that it is yourself? Here's my attempt, in a neat story form.

"So, there's this guy you should meet. . ."
"Yeah, he's a cool guy, very cool, seems like he would be your type."
"My type? Since when did I have a type?"
"Since last weekend when you said that waiter or whoever wasn't your type."
"Oh right, that. . .yeah, I meant I thought he was ugly."
"Right, so this guy. . .I mean. . .wow."
"I'm a guy, and I have to admit, I could imagine spending every waking moment with him." (see the subtle use of the situation?)
"What's he look like?"
"Like a teddy bear, only a bit more in shape."
"A teddy bear?"
"Yeah, big guy. . ."
"I don't like big guys."
"He's not big like, BIG, and overwhelming, just you know, larger than average."
"Oh. Is he funny?"
"You know, does he make you laugh?"
"He makes me laugh all the time. Other people. . .not so much."
"So he's just one man funny?"
"You could say that, I'm sure more than one person has laughed at him before."
"Hmmm. . .what's he like? I mean what does he like to do?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"The kind with an answer I hope."
" 'What does he like to do?' I guess he likes reading, writing, and stuff."
"You know. . .guy stuff. . .like. . .building car engines."
"He builds car engines?!"
"No! That was just an exaggeration."
"What about the reading and writing?"
"No, no, he really does like reading, and writing."
"Writing. . .?"
"Oh, poetry, novels, short stories, anything really. He can be pretty witty and clever when he writes."
"Oh, that's good, I like witty and clever."
"That's only when he writes though. He doesn't translate so well in person. He tends to overthink."
"Things he finds funny takes about five minutes of explanation."
"Oh so he's deep?"
"Uh. . .no. Just weird really."
"Eccentric weird, not stalker or criminally insane weird."
"So is that what's wrong with him?"
"Excuse me?"
"He obviously has a problem, or else he wouldn't need a blind date."
"Obviously. He can be. . .a bit annoying. And he tends to not think a lot. Actually, he tends to act well before thinking."
"Yes, very much so."

And I'll break there. That's how I'd go about getting my copy a blind date. As you can see I'm doing very well there, but well, I'm a hard sell. Anyway, all of this has been a round about way for me ask, how would you describe yourself?


Anonymous said...

javann, you forgot to say spiritual :)

i think we are all weird in our own way. it all depends on how open minded we are about other's weirdness--we either do or don't embrace it

me, hmm... i am cautious, emotional, a thinker, self motivated, and obviously not as creative as you javann, for i didn't create a story like you. i am more straightforward but careful not to hurt or offend others


Itzjerm said...

you kinda started to fall apart there at the end... not sure you'll get that date... and thats weird... you just basically admited you're attracted to yourself? hmmm or are we all and just afraid to admit it?

tommy bruce said...

i am incredeubky sexy

Javann said...

I'm still alive, sorry for the lack of posting, time is of the essence, and so I must go.