Friday, July 23, 2004

Adoration.  The ones that deserve it never get it, and those who don't always get it.  Its like a joke that doesn't make sense.  Where does all this affection and attentions stem from?  Chemical reactions in the brains of the masses.  And what exactly causes those chemical reactions?  Some say its the resonance of notes causing our very structure to vibrate, others say its the synapses that fire due to what we've heard and stored in our memory up until a certain point, whether consciously or unconsciously.  I'm sure other theories exist, and I'm sure that at some point, we'll have a fuller understanding as to what causes emotions, and how we can deal with them.  Things like mood swings, intense emotions that come and then are replaced by even more intense emotions of an opposite kind.  An emotional roller coaster if you will.  Ever been through that?  Ever felt, during one day, or even during a moment, like everything's going your way, everyone is your best friend, and there is nothing wrong whatsoever, only the next day or moment to feel as if everything's dark, broken, that you're a loser, and everyone knows it and doesn't care?  What causes these sudden shifts in perception?  Its really quite perplexing, because unfortunately the brain, our mind, controls our perception so much that one could say that it formulates what we view as being truth.  There are absolute truths, don't get me wrong, they do exist, but in our heads, in our own little worlds, we see and perceive things that are true, and misconstrue them into something that isn't true, something that is a falsehood.  There's no way to tell when you do this, or what causes it, so you can't even tell when you should trust your own thoughts, and when you should bore ahead.  Blind people have no faith in their site, and deaf people certainly won't count on their hearing to save their lives.  At least they know that they can't trust the input from their eyes or ears, simply because there is no input, but what if the input is correct, but the processing isn't?  How do we know what to believe and what not to believe?  Once again, absolute truths do exist, and each are blatantly obvious, but what about the social nuances that we as humans must interpret in our everyday reaction with others?  Its difficult enough to interpret what a person means when duplicity runs rampant in our society, but imagine how even more difficult it would be if you yourself were sending off wayward, problematic signals unawares, only to be shocked by the response to your actions.  That in itself would make you doubt yourself, and perhaps make you doubt your friendships, relationships, and any other interaction you have with others.  Automatically, you feel the need to recluse, and then suddenly, you're alone, and as we all know, humans are a social creature.  One would think that this outcome could be avoided, but as of yet, science offers nothing, and most people would rather not talk about their feelings, especially in the case of them being "dark", "cynical", or "weird" because as humans we automatically classify the humans who have these feelings as being those things, when in actuality, we all have the same feelings from time to time, but that doesn't make us those things.  I may fall in love, that doesn't make me a romantic, nor does feeling fear from time to time make me a coward.  Those who feel anger aren't tempermental, homicidal, or slaves to their own wrath, and thusly those who have dark or cynical thoughts aren't necessarily dark or cynical themselves.  Either way, I've done enough thinking for one day. 
As far as the mp3 of the day goes, I don't know much about this group, nor can I impart much knowledge as to what makes this song great.  All I can say is, they came to Nashville, I wanted to go see them, it fell through, but I'd downloaded a lot of songs by them, because I wanted hear and know the songs before I went to the show.  I never actually listened to the songs, until of course one night at work and now I feel like I have a consolation prize.  I'll wait for Jerm to hear them before I classify them as total emo, but that's what they make me think of.  Anyway, here's the mp3 of the day.
When I'm Awake - Magna-Fi
My mood?

I can't sleep!!

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