Saturday, December 27, 2003
So I must be in quite the introspective mood as of late, maybe its because I've really not got much to do out here housesitting but think. As usual my mind wanders like a lost sheep. While I was taking in the full richness of a 1080 interlaced digital movie, or rather movies, I was noticing that my mind was finding it hard to wrap itself around the plots that were laid before me. As I watched woman after woman after woman fall in love with man after man after man, I kept thinking, how'd that happen? They barely talked, they hardly knew each other. All she did was look at him for less than a few days and suddenly she's professing her undying love to him? He doesn't even really know her beyond the polyester and makeup. Does he realize that he's marrying into a lifetime commitment, one that shouldn't be taken so lightly? I guess that's why in all the sequels the bond that was formed is never still present. For instance, at the end of Shangai Noon, Roy and Chong Wan were in love with the Indian and the princess respectively. At the start of the sequel, Shangi Knights, they had long forgotten both. Roy was married to the Indian, and he'd left her in two days. It was shocking to Chong Wan, but not to me, because there wasn't a solid foundation. A few weeks with little talking, or a near death experience isn't what makes a bond between a man and woman strong. Its comparable to concrete, you can't just throw some water into the dirt and expect it to form into a solid, smooth, perfect parking lot. You have to prepare ingredients, take the time to mix the right amount of water in, and then pour the concrete just right over the course of time to really get the desired product. And that's why I think so many relationships end in disaster, because the couples involved think they can fall in love in days. There is no love on first site. Attraction yes, lust, yes, even friendship, but love, the bond of union between a man and a woman doesn't form on the first night. If you up to a woman or man that you've just met and say, "you know what? I LOVE you," he or she will freak out. Because there's no such thing as spontaneous love. I think the society we live in refuses to believe that. There's instant coffee, popcorn, fast cars, instant internet connections, buying and selling of millions of units of products all can occur instantly, so why can't this little emotion that cements the greatest relationship known to man also be in an instant? It doesn't work that way. There's no way that you can instantly learn how to do complex calculations, things like stoichiometry, calculus, or even just computing triangulation instantly. Even with a computer, it takes time, it takes programming and checking and more programming, my point is this. Love isn't an instant emotion, there is no way to "instantly" fall in love with someone. If you find yourself instantly falling in love, then something is wrong. Granted it takes more time for some than others, but in the long run, you will find that it takes some substantial period of time for love to develop. I'm not talking days, I'm not talking weeks, in some rare cases not even months. Love is an investment, you have to put in time and effort to develop it. At any rate, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't buy the instant love ideal that seems to be running amuck in the minds of the majority. Note that I said minds, and not hearts, because oftentimes the mind can fool the heart to believe that strong attraction we feel when we're around someone, that sudden rush that their presence brings, that doesn't mean that we can feel that way for years to come. Or maybe it does. What do I know? If I were such the expert, I'd be married by now and living life happily. Someday I'll understand. Till then spit intelligence at me.