Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Young life has no stress/watching cartoons/popping balloons/that was the best/I remember the times/when I didn't have a dime/(Those were the best days)

The best times indeed. You'd think I'd learn to get over my general thoughts of constant ungratitude. While life is rife with problems, I think back to all the things that I've had the privilege of seeing and doing, really just being glad that I am seeing and doing. I was at work, kind of goofing off really, and as I was moving tables from room to room, I begin to really appreciate my job too. You know, I can lift a lot of weight, and I can carry it. So I get paid to continue to do that. The more I do the job, the better I get at it. I remember when I first started about a year ago, and I had a rough time because I couldn't lift a lot of weight without tripping, falling, or dropping it. And no matter how hard I worked, it always seemed like I couldn't do enough. And then I think back to when I'd work late nights, and just sit around trying to get my back to stop hurting, or trying to catch my breath, and I'm just really thankful that I don't have to do that anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to spend the rest of my time doing hard manual labor, but there's something satisfying about being able to go into your job and see it done to completion. Even though I know that what I do isn't the most important thing, its important to me, and that's what counts. While talking to a friend of mine Sunday, he said something that kinda struck me, and the more I think of it, the more I realize its true. He said, "Yeah, we're all growing up." I used to always worry about what I would grow up to be, that I wouldn't amount to much, or that I wouldn't be good enough for anything really, and now, here I am. I'm pretty much grown up, as adult as I'll be, and honestly, I can't say I dislike what I've become. I work hard, and I do it, not solely for the money, but because its the right thing to do. Sure the paycheck is a nice addition, but I like knowing that I've done a good job. I remember when I was younger, and I'd go out and cut the grass, I did it because my dad wouldn't let me go out and do what I wanted if I didn't do the chores. Now when I cut the grass, I do it because I want the house to look nice, because I know it'll make my parents happy. I used to never want to clean the car out, now I have this urge to do it, and I hate when people ride in the car and its dirty. Granted its in pretty bad shape now, but I've been feeling bad about not cleaning it for the longest. I guess what I'm saying is growing up and being an adult about things entails doing the things that you know are right, for that reason alone. There is no other person forcing you to do things, or making decisions for you. Its just you. Sure if you slack off, someone might say something, but to keep things at a even pace, you have to motivate yourself. If your reason isn't good, you won't ever succeed at what you do. Anyway, that's enough of my babbling.

Along those lines (of having enough of my babbling), soon you'll be able to get some of the babbling of other people. Who you ask? Well that remains to be seen, but the beautifully egocentric blog that is Javann's Deep Thoughts and Other Assorted Candies is soon to be just Deep Thoughts and Other Assorted Candies, because more than just me will be posting here. Gasp! I'm sure you're busting to know how to get in where you fit in (which is right here on the Deep Thoughts blog). Well send me an email with a few samples of your writing (or really, just send me an email) and you're in. The only really requirement is of course, that I know you and approve of you.

I haven't had a chance to put any R&B on the blog. Most of the recent selections have been rock or techno. Of course, there were the Temptations, but that's an older form of R&B which, really, is so far removed from the music of today, that its not even in the same class anymore. The standards of today as far as R&B goes have changed drastically from those set in the sixties and seventies, and frankly its been for the worse. Honestly, there isn't an R&B person or group out today that doesn't just disappoint me. Even those I had high hopes for (Carl Thomas, Musiq, Jill Scott) have lost their luster in my eyes. Truth be told, for a long time anything that was R&B was lost on me. I didn't want to hear songs about lost love, or about new found love, or anything that was remotely below 80 beats per minute. But as I get older, I find appreciation for all forms of music (barring the country of this era, that's not music, that's just tragedy's way of telling you to commit suicide) and even have found some songs that even I can like. This is one of them. Its a nice little ditty about growing up poor. I've done it. And I can relate to a good deal of this song. Except the parts about stealing cars. And not knowing how to spell my own name. I can do that. Either way, here's the mp3 of the day: Remember the Times - Lucy Pearl

My mood?

Jacob, where are you?

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